June 2000
June 2 (Fri)
Hello all. I know it's been a while but I'm still hanging in there. I've been so busy and my journal has taken the backseat. I went away to Virginia to visit family on Memorial Day weekend (pictures will be posted soon) and had a great time. I am still doing the WeighDown Program and it really has taken away my desire to eat so much. I don't know if I'm loosing weight but I know that food isn't such an obsession like it used to be. I have a lot to learn yet, but it's amazing what great things the Lord is doing in my life. I have really been trying to focus on Him instead of on food and my appetite has been cut in half. I am still having problems with this program because it goes against everything I've ever believed about loosing weight. I guess I must practice faith. I will see results eventually. I am going to get back to the gym next week and this time the focus won't be on loosing weight but instead on getting fit and strong. Thank you all for the amazing and encouraging e-mails you've sent. It's so nice to know that you all care so much. I will hope you are all hanging in there and that you are trying to stay positive. I hope to begin writing more often once again but if you see I haven't written in a couple of days, please come back because I will be back! Take care and God Bless!
June 5 (Mon)
Hey there weight loss friends. How's everyone doing? I am hanging in there. I am still doing Weigh Down and I am really enjoying the benefits of the program. I eat about once a day. Before you all start sending me e-mails talking about how unhealthy that is - let me just tell you that I am feeling good and I AM eating. I am no longer turning to food for comfort when I'm stressed or depressed. Praise God. I am no longer obsessing about my next meal. I haven't weighed myself since I started. I will weigh in on July 1st. I feel lighter though. I have some more things to work on but the Lord is working it out for me.
Last night my guy friend whom I love (see May 1st journal entry) so dearly came over to see me. He is moving to California this week for about 1-2 years. We talked, hugged, and laughed. No kissing and stuff - it was totally Rated G people. I was so tense because I was feeling so many different things. I wanted him to kiss me but then what? I was sad to see him leave but I also am very happy that he is going away to see what else this world has to offer. I have never experienced this type of love before and I'm confused. He cares for me so much and is so affectionate but I don't know if what he feels is a Brother/Sister type of love or if it is a Man/Woman type love. All I know is that I didn't want to risk the beautiful relationship we have over making a bad move. I am so confused but I have decided to leave this situation in God's hand. He knows what lies ahead. At least I have a friend to visit in California - which I definately plan on doing.
There are so many things that are plaguing my mind right now. The number one priority is finding a new job. I am absolutely bored to death of my current job. This November would make it 2 years at this job. I hate getting up in the morning and I sometimes feel like just calling in and telling my boss that I quit today. I want to get into Conference and Meeting Management - that's what I'm going to school for. I am ready to move onto the next level of my life. I am ready for more responsibility and more of a career. My current job right now is very comfortable but I am not mentally challenged at all. I was trying to wait until the end of the summer but I feel so impatient right now. I see all of my friends getting new jobs and I want to feel that excitement. I am so confused right now. I hope something will happen soon that will kinda force me to move on.
Well, besides all that is wrong, I have faith that everything will work out for the best. God has a plan and he will reveal it to me as long as I continue to ask for His help. I hope you all are hanging in there. Please e-mail me to say hi or just to let me know how you're all doing.
Goals for the week: ~Read my bible every morning
~Exercise 3x this week