My first advice to anyone suffering
addiction - and to their loved ones
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First
of all, consider taking at least one of the above tests (Unless it's a loved one who has the problem with
pornography --
and not yourself).
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 This may seem scary, but my
first advice to anyone that either has a porn addiction problem, or has a loved one who
has an addiction problem is:
Seek
counsel from a reputable counselor (such as a LCSW or a psychologist
with experience in treatment) If it's a loved one that's
addicted - the counselor can help you figure out what to do
If you are addicted, I recommend at bare minimum, you participate in
If
you have a problem with addiction, be accountable to someone about your
addiction. You can find on-line meetings and message-based
help from others who suffer from addiction as well..
Chances
are, by the time someone is actually willing to get help, their addiction has grown for a
long while. An addiction doesn't start in a day, and it will take longer than a day
to turn it around. Each day a person lives in addiction, that sets the stage for an
increased addiction the next day. The addiction will grow more and more out of
control.
To
end the addiction - one must be willing to begin and commit to a journey that will not be
a quick-fix. Each day must be considered an investment in creating more freedom for
tomorrow. This takes time, and relapses into addiction hurt the addict's recovery.
I'm
not a counselor... I can not provide counsel. It's
very difficult to try to give advice to others, particularly through mere text e-mail.
But I can say it's very important to know that a person who is addicted needs help
from others. I'm not aware of anyone who has been able to beat a porn addiction on their
own. If someone has achieved recovery alone, they are the extreme exception and not the rule.
In
some ways, recovery from pornography addiction can be compared to an addiction to alcohol
or drugs. It is hard to beat it, and you need the help of others. It's not
impossible, but for the person who has the addiction, it's like they hold themselves, and
even their loved ones hostage from their own recovery.
Do
you have a very trusted person who can listen to what you are going through? Do you
also know someone - again, a trusted person who might suggest a counselor (a reputable
counselor with experience in this area) to discuss this with?
If
you are not addicted, but have a loved one who is addicted - a counselor who has dealt
with this could hear what you are going through and discuss in a more dynamic way (than
text e-mail) with the benefit of experienced counseling the best method for you to take.
One
particular problem of addiction to pornography almost always has its roots in the past of
the addict - prior to the marriage of their spouse. Meaning, it's not a matter of
inadequacy on the spouse of the addict. It's a symptom of the addict's past and
their response to the past. And what I just said is really watered down.
Please
seriously consider what I've said. Remember - I can not provide counsel.
I'm not in the place to give counseling, nor do I have that training to do so.
To
find a counselor in your specific area, please visit either this
link (1-800-therapist.com, 1-800-843-7274) or this link
(Dr. Carnes) and go through a self test (You will have to answer enough
"yes" answers to get a referral). After you take the
test at Dr. Carnes' website - he has a on-line method where you can find
a counselor in your specific area (may not work for all areas, you may
have to perform research for your specific area). Here are more
therapist links
If you have difficulty finding a counselor in your area - try an
online meeting. If you go to my links
page, you will find links to places that offer help
on-line, ranging from actual on-line
(real-time) meetings, to e-mail type forums. Please get help if you need it.
It's worth the work.
CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO SELF
TESTS
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OnlineSexaddict.com