Quotes on "H"

HAPPINESS

Happiness is not something you experience, it's something you remember.
Oscar Levant

Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.
George Orwell

It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich.
Alan Alda

HATRED

The more one is hated, I find, the happier one is.
Louis-Ferdinand Celine

Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure;
Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure.
Lord Byron

It does not matter much what a man hates provided he hates something.
Samuel Butler

HEALTH

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twaine

Early to rise and early to bed
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
James Thurber

Health food makes me sick.
Calvin Trillin

HISTORY

History is a set of lies agreed upon.
Napoleon Bonaparte

History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
Clarence Darrow

History would be a wonderful thing- if it were only true.
Leo Tolstoy

History is bunk.
Henry Ford

Historian: an unsucessful novelist.
H.L. Mencken

HOLIDAY

Holidays are an expensive trial of strength. The only satisfaction comes from survival.
Jonathan Miller

HOLLYWOOD

I've been asked if I ever get the DT's; I don't know; it's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W.C. Fields

Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
Wilson Mizner

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Fred Allen

HUMAN RACE

There are times when you have to choose between being human and having good taste.
Bertolt Brecht

It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man.
Albert Einstein

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
H.L. Mencken

The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
Don Marquis

HUMILITY

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Fran Lebowitz

HUMOR

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
James Thurber

HUSBAND

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Groucho Marx

A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it.
Saki

LADY ASTOR: If you were my husband, Winston, I'd put poison in your tea.
WINSTON CHURCHILL: If I were your husband, Nancy, I'd drink it.

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