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"I guess when you can't beat the other team you have to resort to name calling. Sticks and stones may break my bones but a Clemens heater is a Piazza beater."

-- Mikey Stew on the Mets --

• Jose Canseco is finally a Yankee, joining Doc Gooden as the D-Rays' gifts to their divisional rivals. Kind of highlights the old have-havenots mindset. The Rays save $2-million and the Yanks add a $2-million pinchhitter. Let's concede baseball to the Yankees, and face the fact that no one else, even the Braves, can afford to compete.

• Will Clark has hammered his way into Cardinal history. He's homered in 4 straight games and Mark McGwire is now a bump in the road.... NOT!!!!!!

• I gots to say, the double in the gap thrills me more than the 3-run homer. Let's face it: the homerun is too pedestrian these days. Baseball was never this simplistic.

• Of all the hitters having years, Nomar is having a year! Batting .394 in mid-August is beyond incredible. This dude is locked! Watch your back, A-Rod!

• And make no mistake, Pedro Martinez is a lock for Cy #3. A 1.43 ERA cannot be denied. If the Sox scored more than a run or two a game for him, he would be undefeated.

• I actually listened to the FAN this morning. Now I know why I never do. Those people are idiots. And they all seem to be Met fans who were crying in their beer. It even went so far that they were suggesting Torre started Clemens in Yankee Stadium so he could pop Piazza without fear of retribution. Just what we need. Met fan conspiracy theorists. On the radio. I actually think Kennedy popped Piazza.

• Did wittle Mikey get a boo boo?

• If I were Torre, I would have had Piazza's batting helmet checked. I'm not sure the bill of that cap was regulation. It looked a little long. I think Piazza stuck it out there to get the base.

• Valentine is a baseball God. He told me so himself.

• Derek Bell is the ugliest man in baseball. That includes Zim. Where did he get that mustache? He looks like that guy on the cardboard where you pull the metal filings with a magnet to give him hair. The stash was always hard to do. Looks like it still is.

• Even Doc Gooden can beat the Mets.

• I liked that NYPD Blue start to the Sunday night game. Shouldn't Piazza been shown as a victim though. Maybe laying on the ground as a head injury victim with Clemens lurking in a nearby alley.

• Brosius is a better fielder than Ventura. What a beauty of a bare handed grab in game 3. Not to mention a handful of other sparklers.

• Piazza says he has lost all respect for Clemens. If I were Clemens I'd be pissed. Pissed enough to bean him next time he sees him.

• What are the Mets worried about anyway. Piazza is a California boy type. You can't hurt him by beaning him. They have nothing upstairs to hurt. Like uh wow ya know what I mean.

• That was fun.

(Valley Cottage, July 10, 2000) Doc: This is the kind of BS I expect to hear from Yankee fans who think their team can do no wrong. Clemens is a shit and has always been a shit. Anybody who played for the Red Sox and remembers the name Tony Conigliaro should show some remorse about hitting someone in the head with a fastball.

I can only imagine all the moronic Yankee fans that would be calling the FAN if things were reversed and it was Derek Jeter that got beaned by Al Leiter.

It should be noted that the almighty Yankees got ALL the breaks in this series and that all four games were as closely contested as possible -- seems the gap between the World Chumps and the rest of the league has gotten smaller. The Yankees should be thankful that they play in the AL East, which has become one of the weakest divisions in baseball.

Piazza is a better hitter than ANY Yankee, including Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter. And let's look at the trophy cases and count the gold gloves before we herald Brosius as a better fielder than Robin Ventura.

I'm glad that Piazza said what he said -- now maybe MLB will come to its senses and do away with the idiotic DH rule that has poisoned the sport for all these years. Let's put the fat head of Roger Clemens in the line of fire, too, and see if he thinks twice before throwing some chin music. Fair is fair. Taking the inside of the plate away from hitters may be part of baseball, but at least the National League pitchers do it as MEN, not as little WIMPS.

I guess the only comments that Yankee fans can muster about Derek Bell are sophmoric insults about his looks, since he obviously outplayed Paul O'Neill for this 4-game series (and is a much better dancer).

For the record, just because Mike Piazza played for the Dodgers does not mean he's from California. I guess this way of thinking means that Yankee fans will be stupid enough to vote for Hillary Clinton, assuming she must be from New York if she's running for the NY Senate seat.

Oh -- did I mention that Roger Clemens is, and always has been, a shit?

(Nyack, July 10, 2000) Stew: Met fans always take everything so seriously. Especially where God (I meant to say Piazza) is concerned. No one likes to see a guy get beaned but to think that he hit him in the head intentionally is pure lunacy. He got hit. It sucked. Get over it.

And it looks like a team from the worst division in baseball can still beat the Mets.

Bell better be a good dresser. He probably hopes no one will notice his face that way.

The Mets wouldn't let the Yankees use their weight room on Sunday. I guess that means the Yanks are meanies and they can't play with the Mets toys any anymore. So there.

Jeter would have been smart enough to duck.

I do believe all that crying sets the Mets apart from the men.

I guess when you can't beat the other team you have to resort to name calling. Sticks and stones may break my bones but a Clemens heater is a Piazza beater.

• Derek Jeter has more hits after his first four years than Pete Rose, Ty Cobb or Stan Musial.

• The all-time fielding record of 81 errors (set by the 1998 Baltimore Orioles) was smashed by the 1999 Mets, who made just 68. Their infield kicked 33, 12 fewer than the 1964 Orioles.

• The Indians' starters led their division with a 5.08 ERA.

• The 1999 Royals scored more runs (856) than any Royal team in history, and their lineup was void of anyone named McRae or Brett.

• The 1999 Royals also surrendered more runs (921) than any Royal team in history.

• The Babe's famous 'called shot' in the '32 Series is no longer, according to Hall of Fame broadcaster Jerome Holtzman, now the Official Baseball Historian for Major League Baseball. New footage was allegedly discovered showing Ruth clearly pointing towards the Cub dugout. Perhaps this should not surprise us, because several months later, when Chicago broadcaster Hal Totten asked the Babe if he had pointed, he replied, "Hell no! Only a damned fool would have done a thing like that. If I'd have done that Root would have stuck the ball right in my ear. And besides, I never knew anybody who could tell you ahead of time where he was going to hit a baseball. When I get to be that kind of fool they'll put me in the booby hatch." Case closed.

• Mike Piazza is riding a 15-game RBI streak, second in baseball history to Ray Grimes of the '22 Cubbies. Two to tie. He's also on a 20-game hitting streak.

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