The Story

Chapter 23

"Ben"

Once the Skrull ship was cloaked and hidden in Talula’s backyard, the Supercools continued with their plan to visit Charles’ apartment. Milo, of course, was driving, while Kyle pouted in the front seat. In the back, Joe, Charles, and Rina were having a heated discussion.
“What about ‘Captain Twelve Inches,’” suggested Rina.
“Forget it!” said Joe. “That sounds like his porn star name.”
“Well it’s got to be something! You didn’t like ‘Short Guy’ or ‘Little Man’ either.” said Rina. “He’s too stressed out now to put up with you calling him ‘No Powers Boy’ all the time. We need to pick out a real codename for him.”
“What about ‘Haywire?’” said Joe. “Oh, that’s right- someone on our team already has that name.”
“Be fair to Milo,” said Rina. “He didn’t know if he should reveal his powers at first or not. It’s not like he lied or anything.”
“I know, I know,” said Joe, grumpily. “I just like picking on him. And I still say there’s nothing wrong with ‘Tickle-Me Kyle.’”
“The object here is to boost his self-esteem,” said Rina. “Not shrink it. I mean, not making him feel small. Like less of a person. You know what I mean.”
“I’ve got it,” said Charles. “’Foot Soldier.’” Joe and Rina smiled broadly.

“Well, this much seems to be the same,” Joe said, lighting a cigarette.
“Yeah, this is my apartment complex all right,” said Charles. “Let’s go see whose home.”
Rina picked Kyle up, and put him on her shoulder. The five friends made their way over to where Charles should have been living. Milo knocked on the door.
“Can I help you?” asked the puzzled young man who answered the door. He brushed the dusty blond hair out of his eyes to get a better look at his visitors.
“Oh, this should be fun,” said Joe. Before anyone could think of what to say next, Spiral popped into view behind the young man.
“Look out!” cried Milo, pulling the young man towards him.
“Ben Brixton, your time has come!” shouted the six-armed witch. With a gesture, she caused the building around herself to explode open, sending shards of wood and plaster flying at everyone. Charles used his powers to shield Rina and Kyle, while Joe’s forcefield kept Milo and Ben safe.
“Foolish children!” spat Spiral. “I don’t know how you came to stop me, but your meager powers won’t make the difference here!” She began the opening gestures of a power spell. Suddenly, Rina whizzed in from one side, punching Spiral in the face. Kyle leapt from Rina’s shoulder, on to the villainess’ face, pulling on her hair and kicking at her eyes. “Blast it,” said Spiral, flicking Kyle to the floor, “I wasn’t expecting opposition. I’ll go after the next one.
“But you, young man- I’ve not forgotten about you. I’ll be back for you after I’ve rounded up the others.” Spiral clapped all six of her hands together and teleported away.
“My apartment!” moaned Ben.
“Why was she after you?” asked Charles.
“I’ve got no idea,” said Ben. “Where am I going to sleep now?”
“She said there were others,” Joe reminded everyone. “Why don’t we take Ben with us to look for the others. He can eat and sleep with us, and maybe find out why Spiral was after him.” Plus, Joe thought to himself, We’ll have him close at hand if he’s lying to us.
“I guess I might as well,” said Ben. “Seeing as how my worldly possessions were just liquified. Oh, and hey, thanks for saving my life.”
“One problem,” said Milo. “How are we going to find out where Spiral will strike next?”
“Leave that to me,” said Rina. “I’ve been trying to avoid doing this since that weird Kang fiasco, but I can still…” Rina closed her eyes, concentrating.
Suddenly, she snapped them back open. “You guys, you’ve got to come save Carlos!” shouted Rina. “We’re here, now, all of us, in Denver! Hurry!” Rina closed her eyes again, and slumped unconscious to the floor.
“I guess we’re going to Denver,” said Charles.
“We’ve got to stop that insane, tragically disfigured, misunderstood, six-armed villain from hurting anyone else,” said Joe.
“You mean Spiral?” asked Kyle.
“No, Kyle,” said Joe, sarcastically. “I mean the other insane, tragically disfigured, misunderstood, six-armed villain.”
“You mean Dr. Octopus?” asked Kyle.
“Shut up, Kyle,” said Joe.
Milo picked up Rina’s unconscious body. Ben picked up Kyle. The six young adults piled into the Supercoolmobile, and began their trip to Denver.

First up was the introductions.
“Ben, this is Chuck,” said Joe. “And Rina and Milo. And >snicker< Kyle.”
“Um, actually,” said Milo, “I’d rather you guys didn’t call me that anymore. When we first met, I wasn’t sure if I should tell you guys about my powers and all, so I sort of lied about my name. My real name’s Harold, Harold Danforth. But since you’re all my friends now, I’d like to go back to Harry. Is that alright? Do you all still trust me?”
“Sure we all trust you,” said Joe. “I mean, it’s not like you were secretly a Skrull or anything- KYLE.”
“Hey, that wasn’t my idea!” shouted Kyle.
“I didn’t mean to imply that it was,” Joe said innocently.
“But you said my name at the end of that sentence,” said Kyle.
“I know,” said Joe. “I meant to imply that we’re all Skrulls, and that you’re still on the Skrull Throneworld in a virtual reality chamber, where we’re pretending to be your friends to test your reaction to extreme circumstances, and I’m only telling you about all of this now so you’ll believe it ISN’T true.”
“That isn’t funny, Joe,” said Charles. It probably would’ve sounded more effective if Charles wasn’t laughing his ass off.
“You’re right, Zarkos. I mean ‘Chuck,’” laughed Joe.
“Stop it!” shouted Kyle.
“Yeah, stop it,” said Rina. “Leave Kyle alone!”
“Oh, Kyle,” said Joe. “You know I’m only teasing. Go on, ask me something only the REAL Joe would know.”
“Okay,” said Kyle. “What’s my middle name?”
“I don’t know,” Joe shrugged.
“What’s my little brother’s name,” Kyle persisted.
“No idea,” replied Joe.
“What’s the Green Lantern’s secret identity?”
“The Green who?”
“Stop it.”

Next came the trip to Wal-Mart.
“I’ll just be one minute,” said Joe. He hurried into the store. TWO minutes later, he was back, carrying a large action figure called Kick-Ass Ken. Ken was wearing a black military flak jacket and a black beret. Joe stripped those particular accessories from the doll, and handed them to Kyle.
“Here you go, Kyle,” said Joe. “If you’re going to call yourself ‘Foot Soldier,’ you might as well look the part.” Kyle hesitated for a moment, sensing a joke about to pounce on him, but slipped on the clothing nonetheless.
“They’re Sergeant’s Stripes,” said Joe, referring to his father’s extensive career in the Marine Corps.
“Perfect!” said Rina.
“It really does look really good,” said Harry. “I approve.”

Last was the rest stop just outside of Denver.
“Oh, God!” shouted Joe as he stretched his legs. “I’m never sleeping in the back of a van again as long as I live!”
“It’s probably, what, noon here,” said Rina. “That’s not bad time, if you think about it.”
“It would’ve taken us next to no time at all if we’d taken the Jefferson,” said Joe.
“For the last time, we’re not going to call it ‘the Jefferson Starship,’” said Charles.
“Oh come on,” Joe pouted. “You let Kyle call our van the ‘Supercoolmobile!’ Why can’t I call our spaceship ‘the Jefferson?’”
“Because it sounds like we should all be ‘movin on up,’” said Rina. Everyone stared at her. “What? Like only boys are aloud to make puns?”
“Isn’t that a rule?” asked Joe. “’Cause it should be.” He reached into his pocket for his cigarettes. As he pulled them out, a small metal object bounced loose. “Oh, this thing,” said Joe, lighting his Marlboro. “I picked this up way back at Dr. Doom’s place. Wonder what it does?” [It was an energy storage/retransmission unit. I can’t actually tell you that without ruining the cool third-person-omniscient narrator thing I’ve got going, so please stop reading this part. You didn’t stop. You bastard. Oh well. See, when you push the button on top, the device releases energy identical to the last form of energy in which it was in contact. In this case, the device was last near Access’ chronal energy wave. So really bad things are likely to happen whenever Joe pushes that button.] Joe pushed the button on top of the small device. [Yeah, ‘cause no one saw that coming.]


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