...how was I supposed to know that the weeping fig tree wasn't a REAL tree. Is it my fault that it was too flimsy to hold me when I climbed to the top? 
I mean, I know that it fell over & hit the end table & knocked the lamp onto the floor & broke the lampshade, but can you REALLy blame ME for that!
...how was I supposed to know that I wasn't supposed to pick the flowers off that silk plant that sits next to the fireplace? I thought you would like to come home to a carpet of flower petals!
...how was I supposed to know that the long cord hanging down from the entertainment center was attached to your favorite crystal lamp? 
When it fell to the floor & crashed into a million pieces, it almost scared me out of one of my 9 lives, but did I get any sympathy? NOOOOOOOO!!! You wouldn't even let me play with the pieces, you old spoilsport!
...how was I supposed to know that I shouldn't play in the vents when the central heat/air conditioning installer was putting in our new furnace? If he didn't want me crawling in there, he shouldn't have left the cover off, now should he!
...how was I supposed to know that the bathtub was full of water? 
You could have warned me, ya know. And while we're on the subject of water, why is it that you get so upset when I try to drink from that great water bowl in the bathroom with all the pretty blue water?
Oh well, I'll try not to complain too much. After all, you did give me that great toy that you called a "Christmas tree"! 
It's a wonderful life!
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