Dear Polly,
Do you think the Texaco Parrots are dating anyone? My humans buy Texaco gas and I keep hoping I'll meet them sometime. Which station do they work in?
Hopeful
Dear Hopeful,
Sorry, I don't know where the Parrots work, but you're not alone in wanting to meet them. I'm constantly being asked for information on them. Frankly, if I knew how to meet the Texaco Parrots, I'd try it myself.
Dear Polly,
Hi, my name is Keiko Chue (chew) Eastman. I've been having some problems lately. I live within a few feet of a pair of Siberian Albino hamsters that won't be quiet! All night they squeal and squeak, and I can't sleep sometimes. My human "mom" doesn't move them, she seems to think they're angels because their white!....I don't know what to do. should i get used to the squeaking, or try and find a way to show how much the hamsters bother me?
Yours truly,
Keiko, aka "boogie-boy"
Dear Keiko,
Sorry to take so long to respond to your problem. Mom's been very busy on a big project and she hasn't been keeping our websites up to date or answering our e-mail. Here's Polly Parrot, the Petiquette columnist's advice:
People often do seem to have a hard time picking up on rabbit communication. Esther's always found a little well-timed foot thumping at least brings the problem situation to their attention. So your first step should be to put your foot down - very hard - preferrably just as your mom is about to drop off to sleep. This will inform her that you're not pleased about your proximity to the unruly rodents.
Of course, if your mom can't hear you from her bedroom, your protests will have to be less direct. I've found that when you're dealing with humans you usually have to correct the bad behavior immediately or they don't seem to be able to make the connection between your "punishment" and their "mistake."
Your other option is to make some peace with your noisy companions. Maybe you could nap during the day when the tykes aren't so squeaky. Become more of a nightowl yourself. You might find that hamsters can actually be pretty entertaining and funloving creatures.
Dear Polly,
I've heard that humans consider names very important. I'm a Rottweiler and my people gave me the name "Betty Boop." It seems a pleasant enough name, but I can't help noticing everyone chuckles when I'm introduced. I don't go in for indiscriminate intimidation like some members of my breed, but laughter isn't the response I'd like to see to my presence. I'm afraid the name my people saddled me with is making my job of family protector more difficult than it should be.
Am I just being paranoid?
Ms. Boop
Dear Betty,
The problem is, some humans don't tkae the naming process seriously enough. We all like a good joke, but no one wants to BE the joke!
You really should have a stern talk with your family about this situation. A rotty who can't command the respect of humans because she's been given a silly name faces a lifetime of frustration.
Dear Polly,
I'm afraid I made a terrible mistake. People tell me I'm a duck but I feel like a cat. The vet says this is because I was orphaned before I'd had a chance to "imprint" on my natural mother. A really wonderful cat named Sally raised me like I was her own kitten, and I've always thought of her as my real mom.
I know on the outside I'm a mallard, but inside I'm just a pussycat. Is this going to be a problem when it's time for me to find a mate?
"Confused"
Dear "Confused,"
Yes. There's no getting around it, imprinting on the wrong species can cause all kinds of difficulties in finding a suitable mate, not to mention raising a family of your own. A surprising number of creatures, however, have managed to live quite full and happy lives despite their misguided choice of role models. Just keep in mind, the cat you may find irresistibly charming probably won't appreciate your attentions. Needless to say, the patter of little paws is not in your future unless you plan to adopt, like your surrogate mom, Sally.
Dear Polly,
I can't believe it! It's happened again just like last summer! My humans - they're usually so reliable - suddenly packed a couple of suitcases, drove me to a place they called a "kennel" and disappeared for two weeks!
It was awful. I had to live with a bunch of strange dogs and some of them barked and whined all day! Well, I can't blame them, really. I felt like doing the same thing, but I wouldn't give my people the satisfaction of knowing they brought me to such a sad state.
And I thought we'd worked everything out after last year, but here I am again at this "kennel." Do you have any suggestions of how I can break my family of this very bad habit? I don't think I can take another visit here next year.
Hang Dog
Dear Hang,
Your family has gone on a "vacation." Lots of humans do it, especially in the summer. Probably the hot weather affects their reasoning.
I'm afraid you won't be able to break their habit - it's based on some kind of human instinct for "getting away from it all." But you might be able to retrain them enough to have them include you in their future trips. For instance, you can point out to them that many motels and even some fancy hotels welcome pets. They can find several guides to these places. They may even want to take you to a special resort where human-canine activities are planned. A doggy camp, for example, would have lots of fun things for you and your humans to do together.
Humans can be stubborn, but there's usually a way to deal with their problem behaviors if your creative.
Dear Polly,
What's the deal with all those birds flocking into commercials lately?
Curious George
Dear Curious,
I can't explain it. Birds of every feather have been hawking (no pun intended) products from Budweiser to Texaco. What's even more puzzling is the popularity of those stuffed shirts of the bird kingdom - penguins. They're selling cars, Canada Dry, and beer. It may be they got the show biz bug when they starred in that Batman movie, and I think the sinister Bud penguin may be based on the charasmatic villain of Nick Park's claymation classic, "The Wrong Trousers."
But maybe I'm digging too deep for answers to this strange phenomenon. Those singing Texaco parrots, for example, are really cool. And, frankly, I never found the talking junkyard dogs on that Ford commercial (I think it's Ford) all that convincing - I'm pretty sure their voices were dubbed in.
Dear Ms. Parrot,
As a bird you may be have some insight into my perplexing problem. My humans made me a lovely window perch allowing me to wile away the lonely hours when they were at work watching our neighbors active birdfeeder. I deeply appreciated their thoughtfulness - the "bird's eye view" of the avian antics brightened up my solitary life considerably. I'm a cat, by the way, and like most of my kind, I'm an avid birdwatcher (I hope this doesn't offend you).
Everything was going along swimmingly, if you'll pardon my mixed metaphor, until last week when a couple of rowdy crows notcided me at the windw and, as crows so often do, began to harass me mercilessly. It was quite rude and, as you can imagine, I found their "catcalls" just beyond my reach extremely frustrating. Adding insult to injury, they had the audacity to actually perch right outside the window, blocking my view of the feed as they taunted me with their rauchous caws!!
I assure you, this cruel behavior was totally unprovoked. I've always prided myself on my highly evolved demeanor and I've never spoken an unkind word to members of your species. But I'm embarrassed to confess this insolent pair of blackbirds drove me to some most unfeline-like action - in short, I completely lost my cool.
Please advise me on what to do to get my blissful domestic life back.
Kit Kat
Dear Kit,
This is certainly a difficult situation for a cat to find herself in. I sympathasize with any feline who becomes the unfortunate object of a crow conspiracy. These clever birds are known to have a very large mischievous streak to their nature.
As an indoor cat, there's little you can do to correct the situation unless you have outside feline colleagues who are willing to lend a paw to "negotiating" with your feathered tormenters. I must warn you, however, not many cats are willing to tackle such a devlish pair of ravens.
Dear Pol,
Is it true that people think rats like to spend their time racing around a track? I recently overhead several humans talking about the "rat race" and how everyone in the race spends all day "chasing their tails." A few days later my people got me a big wheel and tried to get me to go in it and run around! It was fun at first, but I could see I wasn't getting anywhere so I climbed out and took a nap.
Listen, I'ma rat, sure, but this racing business just gives met the creeps! Should I try to play along with my people and use the wheel when they're watching or try to convince them it was just a bad idea?
Ratso
Dear Ratso,
Like most human expressions "rat race" refers to HUMAN activities. It was probably just a coincidence that your family bought you an exercise wheel at that time. But they may be disappointed if you don't use their gift from time to time.
I heard a story about one clever rat who had his people convinced he was running industriously every night, but he kept getting fatter and fatter. Finally they stayed up and peeked in when the wheel began to squeak. Their furry friend was lying on his back kicking the wheel around with a back paw while he munched on some treats. If you use this technique, remember to do it only when your family is out of the room - and don't overdo it, or they may become suspicious.
Dear Polly,
For five years I had exclusive ownership of my human family. Suddenly, out of the blue, another cat showed up one day and it really got my dander up!! I couldn't believe that my family - normally quite reasonable for humans - just accepted it and even gave her a special food dish and a nice soft bed next to mine. The other day they actually scolded ME for objecting when she tried to snatch some of MY food!!
What's going on here? Should I start looking for a new family or will they finally come to their senses?
Fuming in Filadephia
Dear Fuming,
I sympathize with your plight. What's apparently happened is your family has adopted a sister to keep you company. Unfortunately, as so often happens in these matters, they neglected to include you in their decision. It's no wonder you're feeling put out!
You need to put a firm paw down now and educate your family in the proper etiquette for introducing new creatures into your home. Obviously, this is a delicate process that involves proper introductions, teaching the newcomer the ropes, and making various compromises regarding feeding, sleeping, and play arrangements. As "first cat" you should have been in charge of these negotiations, but since your new "sister" is a fait accompli, you'll simply have to make the best of things. Let her know where she stands - be firm but not "catty" about it.
It's perfectly acceptable for you to punish your family by turning you back on them, sulking, and occasionally destroying some property they've become attached to for a suitable period of time - say, a couple of weeks. After all, how else are they going to learn that they simply can't make decisions like this on their own?!
Dear Polly,
Last night I accidentally nibbled through an electric cord my humans carelessly left lying around. I know it was one of the things I'm not supposed to chew on, but nothing else was handy, and you know, rabbits just HAVE to gnaw sometimes.
Well I'd paused to think about something else when I noticed a spark jump out of the cord I'd just had in my mouth and the lights went out. It was kind of cool, I thought, but my humans were REALLY MAD! They called me a "bad bunny" and put me in my cage like it was my fault!
Normally they're lots of fun to live with and they give me treats and play with me. But what can I do about these irrational temper tantrums. I mean, if they really didn't want me to gnaw on the cord, why did they leave it dangling like that?
Love & Kisses,
Bunny Lou
Dear Bunny Lou,
This is a very common problem among inexperienced bunny people. They try to anticipate what their new companions will "get into" as they put it. But most humans just don't know how curious and adventuresome the typical rabbit is. You may have heard the insulting expressions "dumb bunny" or "he took off like a scared rabbit." Humans actually believe these are characteristic of rabbits when nothing could be further from the truth. Rabbits love to explore everything. They nibble life with gusto, and sometimes, as you discovered, this can lead to trouble.
Try to be tolerant of your people - they sound like decent sorts. Just remember they're a little slow. If you find something in your territory that you don't think should be there, try to bring it to their attention. Make sure they see you going after it, then observe their reaction. If they begin to scream incoherently and race toward you, you were probably right in guessing it was a BAD THING.
Dear Polly,
I'm a dog, but my human companions seem to think I'm one of them. Don't get me wrong, I love my people. But I'm proud of my canine heritage, and wish my family would accept that I'm different. Every time they introduce me to friends, they call me their "baby." I'm 4 years old now - that's 28 in people years!! I know I was adopted from the shelter, and I'm not ashamed of that - it just means my people chose me as their companion. Why do they keep trying to fool everyone into thinking I'm a human child instead of a dignified adult dog?
Sincerely,
I Get No Respect
San Antonio, TX
Dear Get No Respect,
Don't take it personally. All humans seem to do this. It's just their way of showing us their love.
Humans actually have many dog like qualities. For one thing, they tend to live in packs or "families," as they call them. When they call you their "child" or "baby" that just means they think of you as part of their pack. If you don't feel they're treating you with enough respect, you probably haven't trained them right. They may think they're the "top dogs" in the "pack." With a little behavior modification you can probably correct this problem behavior, and you'll soon have them eating out of your hands.
|
|
|
|
Get your own Free Home
Page