Chris Black

Ignore it, and it won’t go away. Trust me.

Updates are in larger letters, like these.

Name: Christopher James Black

Age: 18

Date of Birth: 4/17/80

Social Security Number: um... no

Top 10 Favorite Bands:

  1. Led Zepplin
  2. The Beatles
  3. The Rolling Stones
  4. Queen
  5. Pink Floyd
  6. Rage Against The Machine
  7. The Beastie Boys
  8. The Bloodhound Gang
  9. The Dave Mathews Band. I’m sure I spelled that wrong.
  10. The Red Hot Chilly Peppers

Top Ten Best Songs Ever:

  1. American Pie by Don McLean
  2. Hotel California by The Eagles
  3. The Piano Man by Billy Joel
  4. I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues by Elton John
  5. I Don’t Know by The Beastie Boys
  6. Under The Bridge by The Red Hot Chilly Peppers
  7. With A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles
  8. Know Your Enemy by Rage Against The Machine
  9. Jungle Boogie by Kool and the Gang
  10. Flowers on the Wall... can’t think of the artist

Favorite Authors: Tolkien, Karl Edward Wagner, Isaac Asimov, Mark Twain, Douglas Adams

Favorite Books: The Hobbit, Innocents Abroad, The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy series, The Foundation Trilogy, The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul, 'i, robot'...

Top Five Movies

  1. Pulp Fiction
  2. Reservior Dogs
  3. Four Rooms
  4. Dirty Work
  5. Goodfellas

Other Great Movies: Anything by Monty Python, Shawshank Redeption (sp), Flight of the Navigator (man, I love that movie!), The Player, National Lampoons' Animal House, Die Hard With a Vengence, Cheech & Chong’s Up In Smoke...

Favorite Beverage: Evian Water

Least Favorite Beverage: Frosh Faygo

Favorite comics. I love the comics.

Least favorite comics. Pretty much all those that suck. You know, the ones that are like 'comic soap opras'. They're using real art and stuff. They suck. And I hate 'Cathy'. Cathy pisses me off. I further hate Marmaduke, I mean, it's the same old jokes worn out. And what's more, I hate Ziggy.

Best concerts I've attended:

  1. Ozzfest '97: Ozzy, Black Sabath, Pantera, Type O Negative (sucked), Coal Chamber...
  2. Ozzfest '98: Ozzy (Bad MoFo), Tool (great show, hard to top), Megadeath (Lost so much respect for them that it isn't even funny), Coal Chamber (Probly put on the best show at the concert, earned my respect)
  3. Page and Plant Walking to Everywhere: Jimmy Page, Robert Plant. Need I say more?
  4. Metallica: Jerry 'I'm a homo' Cantrell opened for them and the Y store, but we missed the latter. In any case, Cantrell ended his set with a cover of Pink Floyd's Braindamage/Eclipse, which basically said to me "I have no respect for my own music, so I'll cover someone who had talent". Metallica put on one hell of a show, and Jon and I pretty much started the Mosh, so that was dead cool.
  5. H.O.R.D.E. (Horizons Of Rock Developing Everywhere): Neil Young (rocked), Primus (not so bad), Squirrel Nut Zippers (pretty damn good), Screaming Cheeta Wheelies (They sucked, but my brother is rather fond of them).

You wouldn't believe how much I hate. I hate olives. They suck. With the exception of olive oil there is nothing about olives that I like. In a recent sketch book assignment for art I smashed a bunch of black olives in my sketch book and wrote "Death To Olives" in it. That is how much I hate olives. I hate when you've made a decision about something, and you can't bring yourself to act upon it. You can't even get yourself to admit that you've made the decision, just because you don't want to act upon it. It's no fun. I hate that I've not finished a book in like 3 weeks. It's weird. I hate when my foolish friend just won't admit that he's afraid to play me at Doom2. That's not disrespectful. It's OK to be afraid sometimes. But instead he comes up with these heinous excuses about how he can't get his modem to work and such. Blah. He can use the internet, but he can't connect with me... sure. I hate even more that he tells people that he can beat me. He's probly practicing right now, like it's going to help him. Stupid Keyboarder. I hate how broke I am. I probly only have 10 dollars to get me through two weekends. That sucks. I'll wind up bumming money off my parents. That sucks too. I hate when I let Jon borrow all my good CD's and I'm stuck listening to No Doubt and Smash Mouth. That nearly made me beat myself silly. I hate when I eat entirely too much candy at Jon's. I hate even more that I was eating candy that I spent 20 dollars on, and that is a heavy contributer to why I'm so broke. I hate that I have to get my wisdom teeth cut out. I'm sure that won't be pleasant. I hate that I'll be the first child of my mothers' to graduate high school. Quite a record, eh? I hate that I'm going to go into the Navy after this summer and leave all my friends. I don't even know what to expect. I mean, how do you prepair to go into the Navy? I hate that while I'm in the Navy I'll probly have to wear glasses. I'm pretty fond of my contacts, and it will suck giving them up. I hate black T-shirts. Why do they make so many black T-shirts? They are the spawn of satan, as I gather. They are impossible to keep clean. I hate cold rain. There is very little less enjoyable than being out in a cold rain. I hate when I put off a history assignment for so long that I have to skip school just so I can do it. I must say that I'm pretty impressed with myself because I finished it, and probly got an A. Bad mother. I hate that no one seems to know what a Zoot Suit is. A Zoot is awesome. I'm wearing one to prom. Zoot Suit. Need I say more? I hate work. I hate people.

Since these HTML pages can only handle so many characters I’ve put the rest of my hates here: HATE

Never realized how easy it is to hate stuff.

Things that I wonder about: How does blue belly-button lint get in your belly-button when you only wear white shirts? If you bet a woman a hundred dollars she won't sleep with you, is that prostitution, or gambling? I wonder about a fortune I just got out of a cookie. It reads: "A girlfriend is a bottle of wine; a wife is a wine bottle." What the hell is that supposed to mean? If you have any ideas, I'd sure like to know. I wonder about a tatoo parlor in Martinsville called 'Seal of the Living God Tatoo'. They won't let you get a tatoo of devils or wizards because they are 'Holy'. I guess they have one of those special bibles. The 'new edition' or something. Last time I checked, Leviticus 19:28 said "Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD". Seems clear to me *shrug*. Why do they have brail on drive through ATM machines? If a siamese (sp) twin kills someone, and gets convicted, what do they do? Can they send an innocent twin along with the guilty to jail? Why do telescopes no longer telescope?

Palendrome isn't one, and synonym doesn't have one. Why not?

Things I like: I like to make fun of Jeremiah for being afraid of clowns. What kind of sick freak is afraid of clowns, that's what I would like to know. I like to make fun of Corie Connor for being afraid of midgets. What's wrong with midgets? They're just little people. I like to call Jeremiah a midget (what a coincodence, eh?) or an Ewok. I like to bug Russell about owing me 40 bucks for a year. I like to yell stuff at people out a window in my car. I like to get pulled over for yelling stuff at people out the window of my car. I like to listen to ICP a LOT! I like to flip people off without looking at them so it's like 'I'm too good to look at you when I flip you off'. I like to make fun of Richard by saying "I'd do your sister", or "If I bought you a wig, would you pluck your eyebrows so you'd look like your sister?". I like to call Billy (Mike's brother) Cheevert. His name is Cheevert because when he was little, he use to sing "we're gonna have fun, fun, fun, till daddy takes the cheevert away..." so naturally that is a cool name. I like to drink Faygo. I like to listen to 'The Humpty Dance' that is easily one of the greatest songs ever. I like Pez. I like ants. I like Chineese food. I like to make fun of Corie for having funny lips. She get's really self concious about it. I like bratwurst (sp). I like to tell Russell Broughton the great saying 'I'd do your sister'. He get's pissed off faster than Richard. I like how: after a concert you get home and your dead tired, so you go to bed, and you can still hear music. The music is still playing in your ears. Not just in your head, you can really HEAR it. MAN, I LOVE THAT!!! I like games. You know, head games with women. That is easily one of my favorite passtimes. The problem I'm facing is taking it too far in a rescent situation, and that would be bad. The 'uninterested' game I'm very fond of, but it's getting bad. Getting down to crunch time. I like when a friend of mine, Jeremiah, strips down to his underwear at a party, and walks around like nothing is wrong. It was hillarious. The guy is a riot. We got pictures, and They'll be going on my webpage as soon as they are developed. I like to argue. About anything, with anyone, as a matter of fact. I like sleep. It's a hobby, as far as I'm concerned. If it were up to me, I'd sleep a good 4 hours around 2 pm, just to get in the mood to sleep at night. Just as a warm up, you know? If I could get paid to sleep, I don't know what I'd do, but I do know that I'd sleep a LOT. I like Tekken 3. I think it's the best fighting game for any system out today. I like milk. I like Pulp Fiction more than I should. I like to keep everything in line, I feel it's my duty. I like a good book. Any good book. There is very little more humbling (in my humble opinion) than reading a good book, and realizing that I havn't lived long enough to gain the experience needed to write a good book. It's very cool. I like every Tarantino movie. I like Ted the Bell Hop. I like Steve Buscemi. I like Falon. I like milk and cookies. I like sweet potatoes. I like to read (screw you, if you just laughed at me, btw.). I like women in general.

I like Zoot Suits. I like Grandpa Socks. I like Swing Jazz. I like the new stuff we're doing in art at school. I like Fazoli's. I like funny T-shirts.

Quotes that I like or make up. "If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person in the world." "I couldn't type my book report because I was at church all day." -Donna Wray, a pregnant teenager. That's the most awesome excuse I've ever heard! "A ponytail is as gay as a week is long" -Jon Henson from Talk Soup. Man, I love that guy! "I'm underwhelmed". "You always cease to amaze me". Dear Santa, screw you for judging me. Do helicopters eat their young? What if God were made out of nerf? No, I didn't eat your sofa, but you shouldn't have left it lying about. That's not my hand! Who drank that water out of grandma's teeth? "They ain't nobody gonna run off with 'em"-A teacher, let's just leave it at that. I belive that, if you study this statement as I have, then you will realize that "with" is the only word used correctly. I could be wrong, but I'm not. It leaves like a thief in the night, just like a thief in the night, in fact. It leaves in the early hours of the morning, and a lot of stuff always ends up missing. -The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Building. "You cannot see what I see, because you see what you see. You cannot know what I know, because you know what you know. You cannot add what I see and know to what you see and know because they are not of the same kind. Neither can you replace what I see and know with what you see and know, because that would replace you yourself." - Douglas Adams. "The less a man makes declaritive statements, the less apt he is to look foolish in retrospect." - Quentin Tarrantino.

Shirts that I want. That is, this is what I want a shirt to say:

  1. Jesus is cool as hell.
  2. Petting Zoo (with an arrow down)
  3. G-spot finder (with an arrow down)
  4. I don't want it so much, but I saw a shirt at Ozzfest that said 'I fuck sheep'. It was hilarious.
  5. Legalize Everything.
  6. Bull Shirt.
  7. Down With Logic
  8. Smile if you want to sleep with me.
  9. I Hate Truckers (just to see how many times I get beat up)

  10. Not People

Here is The Dream.

I'm open to suggestions as to what other stuff I should put on here.

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