More "exciting" updated info about Rob "Bob" Langridge, oh dear!
That's me. Cheerful sod ain't I?
The address is about 2 years out of date by the way, I am now living where is commonly known as 'down south'.
Caution! Overlong exposure to this information has been proven to cause cancer in rocks.
Physical Statistics
Height
Variable; between 5' and 5'10 depending on current state of health and shoes being worn. Optimum height is about 1 foot high, 5'8 long, stretched out on my bed asleep.
Weight
Unknown; tends to fluctuate wildly due to the unreliability of the scales in my bathroom. Not that it seems to matter how much or how little I eat, it never changes anyway.
Eyes
Two, still working. They blink a lot. Occasionally dons contact lenses, when he can be bothered to get the things in.
Hair
Longer than ever, it currently makes twice nightly attempts to strangle me, luckily it has a hectic social life of its own and soon gets distracted.
Age
Never you mind young sonny-jim, when I was your age young kids had respect for their elders, eh what? Oh all right I'm 24.
Species
Human apparently, although my friends claim that I'm probably just a biomorphed alien here to drive them all mad.
Profession
Ex-student, systems manager, database mangler and head of complaints department.
Desired Profession
Anything involving large amounts of money and the internet really. Ideal job? hmmm.... "Lottery winner".
Pets and Hobbies
Pets
None, although I have a huge collection of toys sitting on my monitor and TV;
all of which are called "Eric" to save confusion. The current collection consists of
a plastic penguin from a Danish bank I visited when I was 12, a HUGE penguin a friend sent me for
christmas from America (Thanks Bobbie!) two other toy penguins who were passing by and a small china penguin
also from America (Thanks Gwyneth!)
In addition there is the fatefully dubbed "Stress Fish", a rather mournful looking
fish from a Kinder surprise egg which sits in a funky metal-dish thingy I have, two plastic farmyard
llamas which my sister bought me, a small yellow fluffy dog from a flea-spray advert,
a plastic snake of unknown origin, a plastic giraffe which looks more like a horse thats been on a rack,
a Lego pirate bloke and a small blue robot thingie.
Hobbies
My hobbies include badminton, roleplaying (see the list of
games I've played), writing HTML
pages and inane Java programs that beep, attempting to get demon comms packages to work, sleeping, playing magic, writing
new rules for Rolemaster, wasting as much time as possible on chat
channels, threatening to write a book to my friends, breathing, keeping my Fiat Uno (Called
"George" for reasons that had best remain anonymous)
on the road and planning my next holiday to America.
Rob's top ten peeves, Version 5.2
Well, the world continues to change, and generally annoy me. Bah humbug; still enough moaning, here's my current top 10 hates...
1. Windows.
Hate it. So there! Check this out for
more of my inane rantings. Suffice it to say this is one topic I can rant on for a long while - so don't get me started!
2. Onions and gerkins.
Hate 'em. Hate, hate, hate. Why can't McDonalds get it into their
heads that no-one actually likes the gerkin or onion in their sandwiches and only
eats them under sufferance as they can't be bothered to wait for a onion/gerkin free
burger?
3. People who don't finish sentences.
This really does...
4. Rave and dance music.
Music? PAH! I've heard cats going through mangles with more
musical content than some of the so called "songs" some people produce. Its not
that they're actually completely awful, but the fact that they all use the
same samples, backing beat and horrible set up dance routines that really gets
my wick.
5. Really hot weather.
Not nice warm not weather, really hot weather; burning flesh
type hot weather. Mind you, this isn't much of a problem in the UK generally.
6. Insects.
Excuse the pun, but insects bug me. Now I don't mind the odd creepy crawly, but when summer goes going fully and you can't open your mouth for fear of a horde of bees invading it and using it as a nest then there are too many of the damn things!
7. People who use the phrase "Lowly says".
Just what is "Lowly says" eh? Yes I know what you mean, but its not right! You can quietly
say something or speak in a low tone, but you can't lowly say and thing can you rant rant rant rant....
8. Companies that release faulty software and bugs in general.
Bugs, bugs everywhere. Microprose - great games, UFO etc, bugged
to hell;
I buy these on trust and what happens? A mountain of little quirky problems that they
couldn't be bothered to remove until patch 1.X was released. Installing patches is
another thing that annoys me...
9. My inability to use English.
I don't know how bad this page is so far, but my spelling is certainly
quite terrible and my grammar isn't much better either. Although recently people have assured me my Engissh iz quit perfekt.
10. Mr.Bean.
Rowan Atkinson, great actor - not a word against him. Blackadder
II? One of
my fave programs. Whats this? A new comedy? Great... just a moment - he's doing
what?
It's not the production of the program of anything, it's all made very well, I'm sure.
It's just the way he always does things no sane being in it's right mind would do,
producing
what I call the "cringe" effect. In any case I just can't watch it...
No cats were harmed in the making of this top 10 list.
Rob's favourite things
What to butter me up to ask a favour or to borrow some money eh? Well here's some
suggestions on how to get into my good books...
Food and drink
Always a good start, buy me some nice grub and a decent drink and you're on a firm
footing to start asking that favour...
Foodwise I draw nutrition from the four basic foodgroups, namely, pizza, chocolate,
ketchup and sugar. Strictly speaking with the amount of calories I take in should either
be a world class sprinter or a half ton blob, luckily for me my metabolism defies the laws of
nature much to my sisters annoyance.
I'm probably one of the most awkward drinkers in the known universe, I only drink
milk, orange, water and vodka, not all in the same glass I hasten to add. A treble vodka
and orange does me nicely thank you very much.
Music
As previously mentioned rave and dance music are one of my pet hates, but apart from
that and easy listening music I'll usually listen to nearly anything, a brief selection of the
CDs that I usually play would be the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Duran Duran, Holst and Alanis Morissette. Although
about a third of my music collection is from the good old 80's. Its all a matter of taste of course.
Films
Naturally any film with Ms.Kensit in it gets a big plus from my hormones, a more
general selection of my favourite films would be Star Wars, Stargate, Dragnet and
Monty Pythons Quest for the Holy Grail.
TV
I'm not really a great watcher of TV. Favourite programs include Friends, Animaniacs, The X-Files,
Blackadder, Space Above and Beyond, Red dwarf, Monty Python and Babylon 5.
Books
I don't read as much as I used to (you have to say things like that to make yourself sound intellectual at some point in your life) but after my recent holiday involving several long flights allowed me to get some quality reading time. My favourite author is David Gemmel, my favourite book being Waylander; I generally prefer Fantasy or Sci-Fi novels. Other authors who's work I enjoy are Piers Anthony, Raymond E.Fiest, Terry Prachett and Janny Wurts.
That's enough wittering for now, I suggest you flee back to the intro page
while you still have the chance.