 | Ch. 45:1-23. Three or More People Reciting Grace |
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| Ch. 45:1-23. Three or More People Reciting Grace |
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| 45:1 |
 Three (or more) who ate together
need to say (grace) with zimmun (invitation) (see Laws 5-7). It is a mitzvah to say grace
over a cup [of wine or other suitable drink].
If possible,
one must (do this) in a distinguished manner,
using a cup of wine.
If it is impossible to use wine,
beer can be used,
or liquor
or brandy.
as long as they are considered "the wine of the country"
- i.e., if (in this city), wine-grapes do not grow
within a day's journey,
and so wine is expensive
and it is customary to drink
one of these beverages instead of wine. There are those (sages) who say
that grace,
even (when said) by oneself,
requires a cup (of wine).
It is the custom of those who are precise (in their mitzvos),
when they say grace by themselves,
to not hold the cup (of wine) in their hand,
rather, they place it
on the table before them. |
|---|---|
| 45:2 |
First the cup is filled
then the hands washed [for "finger washing"; see Ch. 44:1]. |
| 45:3 |
(A cup of) wine which has been drunk from,
all that remains in the cup
is considered as pagum (blemished)
and is unfit for grace
until it is "corrected",
that is, one pours into it
some wine
or some water
which is not "blemished". Since one needs
to fill the cup
for (the sake of the) blessing.
So with a "blemished" cup (of wine),
this is how one corrects it.
One needs to pour it into a bottle,
and then from the bottle pour into the cup
for (the sake of) the blessing. |
| 45:4 |
The cup used for grace
must be whole.
If there became broken,
even only the lower base
it becomes unfit.
Also, any slight defect
in its rim,
or a crack,
makes it unfit.
It must be washed inside,
and rinsed outside,
or, it should be wiped thoroughly,
so that it becomes clean. One pours from the bottle
into the cup for the sake of the blessing.
It (the cup) should be full.
The one saying grace, should receive it with both hands
to show that the cup is dear to him
and that he desires to accept it with all his strength
as [implied by Psalms 134:2]:
"Lift up your hands in holiness
and bless G-d." Afterwards, one removes the left hand
and holds with the right hand only
without the aid of the left
(so that it does not appear to be a burden).
He should look at it,
so that his attention will not be distracted from it.
It should be held a handbreadth above the table,
as [implied by Psalms 116:13]:
"I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call upon the name of G-d." A left-handed person
should hold in his "right" hand,
- i.e., the left hand.
One should remove from the table
all empty dishes (before saying grace). |
| 45:5 |
If the people at the meal
are of equal standing,
and include a kohen,
it is commanded to give him the honor of saying grace,
as [Leviticus 21:8] states:
"You shall regard him as holy."
However, if there is present
a great and important man,
he should say the grace.
It's customary to give to a mourner
to say the grace
if all present are of the same level. It is proper to give the honor of saying grace
to one who is gracious,
hates unjust gain,
and is generous with his money.
[Proverbs 22:9] states:
"The gracious person will be blessed."
Instead of reading "Yivorach" (will be blessed),
one can read "Yevarach" (he will bless). |
| 45:6 |
The one leading the grace begins
"Let us say grace",
for all holy prayers
require preparation.
Or he says
as is the custom, in Yiddish:
"Rabbosai mir vellen bentshen". Those at the table respond:
"May the name of G-d be blessed
from now until eternity". Then the leader* says:
"With your permission, ..."
"..let us bless Him of whose bounty we have eaten". * {In many communities, it is customary for the leader to say the previous response as well.}
* {The Mishnoh B'rurah 192:4 states that this phrase may be said even when only three are reciting grace. However, it should be said only by the leader.} |
| 45:7 |
The person leading should say the grace out loud,
and the others (at the table) should say with him
word for word quietly.
At the end of each blessing
they should conclude before the leader,
so that they can respond "Amen"
on his blessing. |
| 45:8 |
After grace,
(the leader) should bless over the cup
on which grace was said,
and drink (at least) a revi'is (from it),
in order that he may say
the "concluding blessing". If the cups of the others at the table
are "blemished" (have been drunk from),
the leader should
give from his cup a little
into their cups
after he says
"...creates the fruit of the vine"
but before he drinks,
so that they can also bless
on "unblemished" cups.
Similarly, if their cups are empty,
he should pour some (wine) into them
from his cup of blessing,
and they should not taste (their wine)
until the leader does. If they have cups,
one for everyone, and are not "blemished",
the leader need not
give from his cup (to theirs),
and they may drink before
he drinks.
Indeed, it is correct
and best, if possible,
that each one has
a full cup. |
| 45:9 |
If the leader
does not want to drink (the wine),
some authorities say,
that he can allow another one,
of those present,
to say the blessing
"...creates the fruit of the vine"
and drink a revi'is (of wine)
and say the "concluding blessing".
Others maintain
that this should not be done,
but only the leader of the grace
can bless over the cup (of wine).
This (latter opinion) should be followed. |
| 45:10 |
Two who ate together
are commanded to ask a third
to join them for the zimmun.
Even if the third only arrived
after the two had completed eating,
however if they were served
another food item
as dessert,
(they still have appetite and) would eat,
it is a mitzvoh
to include the third person in the zimmun. That is,
they give him a k'zayis to eat,
so that he has to say the "concluding blessing"
and join them (for grace).
Certain opinions
require that he eat bread.
Others say
that eating any grain products is enough.
Still others say
that even fruit
or vegetables are sufficient,
and a more lenient opinion says
that even if he did not eat,
(but) only drank a revi'is
of any beverage
with the exception of water,
he may be included (in grace). It is customary to follow this opinion.
Even though he did not eat,
but only drank,
he can say "...eaten of His bounty,"
for drinking is included in eating.
(Then,) after (the leader) has concluded,
"who sustains all."
(the third) should say
the "concluding blessing"
for what he ate or drank. If the third came
after (the two) had already washed their hands
with "finger washing",
he can no longer be included with them. |
| 45:11 |
Three who ate together,
because they are obligated to a zimmun
cannot separate [before saying grace together].
Similarly with four or five.
Even one of them
may not say grace
by himself,
for all have become obligated to the zimmun.
If six or more (ate together),
while (they are not) ten
they may separate
and say zimmun
in groups (of three or more). |
| 45:12 |
If they are ten
they are required to mention G-d's name.
Thus, the leader says:
"...let us bless our G-d
whose food we have eaten."
and not say "...bless to our G-d" *
and the others reply:
"Blessed is our G-d,
of Whose bounty we have eaten". * {We now leave out the word "our G-d" completely when we have less than ten saying grace.}
|
| 45:13 |
If the leader of the grace erred
with ten,
and also those responding,
and forgot to mention G-d's name
in the zimmun blessing,
they may not repeat
that blessing with G-d's name.
Since they have fulfilled
the requirement of zimmun,
though they did not
fulfill mentioning G-d's name,
(this is termed a) "crookedness
which cannot be corrected." However, if the others
have not yet responded to him,
since there has not yet been fulfilled
the mitzvah of zimmun,
the leader can start again
and say the zimmun with G-d's name. |
| 45:14 |
If seven ate bread
and three ate fruit
or drank beverages
to the extent that they were required
(to say) the "concluding blessing",
the zimmun can be made with G-d's name.
(In this instance, all authorities agree
that fruit or a beverage is sufficient.) It is a mitzvoh to try to assemble ten
to bless (zimmun) with G-d's name
However, if only six
ate bread,
G-d's name cannot be mentioned in zimmun,
for a distinct majority [of bread eaters] is needed. |
| 45:15 |
All that ate together,
even if they did not eat
their whole meal together,
but rather sat down to eat,
and said "Who brings forth.."
- even if each one
ate from his own loaf
- since they have become one group,*
whether of three
or of ten,
they can not separate (before zimmun).**
Even if one wanted
to finish his meal
before the others have finished,
he is not allowed to separate. * {The Mishnoh B'ruroh 193:18 defines "established as one group: as eating at the same table or on the same tablecloth. A family or other distinct gathering of people can be considered as "one group" even though they eat at separate tables.} ** {See Law 17, which offers a different alternative}
|
| 45:16 |
If three people ate together,
and one of them forgot
and said grace by himself,
(the other two) can say zimmun
after he (the third) concludes
grace.
He should also respond
"Blessed be He ... we have eaten...". However,
if he had already joined a zimmun
with two others,
he may not again join
in a zimmun with these (first two).
If two said grace,
even separately,
no zimmun is possible. |
| 45:17 |
If three ate (together)
and two finished their meal
and want to say grace,
but one (the third) has not completed his meal
and does not want to say grace,
he must interrupt his meal,
so that zimmun can be said.
He should respond with them
and thus fulfill his obligation for zimmun.
He should wait until the leader completes
(the blessing) "who sustains all",
and then he can (continue to) eat.
He need not say
a blessing (before eating again)
since he had intended
to continue eating.
When he completes his meal,
he should say grace. However, two do not need
to interrupt (their meal and respond)
for one (who wants to say a zimmun).
Unless,
they want to do him honor,
beyond the law's requirements. If ten ate together,
four must interrupt (their meal)
for six [who want to say grace],
for they are the majority.
They do not have to wait,
only until they said
"Blessed is our G-d.."
After they (the four) finish their meal,
they make a zimmun (together),
without mentioning G-d's name. |
| 45:18 |
At large feasts
where many are present,
the leader (of the grace) should be chosen
for his strong voice,
so that all present can hear
his grace,
at least until
(the end of) "Blessed is our G-d".
If this is not possible,
they say (grace)
in (smaller) groups of ten each. |
| 45:19 |
Two groups
that ate in the one room
or (even) in two rooms,
if some (of each group) can see
some of the others,
they (can together) make a zimmun.
If they cannot (see each other),
one (group) makes a zimmun for themselves,
and the other makes a zimmun for themselves.
Should one (waiter) be serving
both groups,
he joins them (into one). This applies if they started originally
with the intention of being one group.*
Whenever groups are joined together,
everyone must hear
the leader,
at least until
(the end of) "who sustains all.". * {The above follows the decisions of the Shulchon Oruch HoRav 195:2. However, the Mishnoh B'ruroh 195:6 maintains that as long as the different groups are eating in the same room, they may be joined together as a single entity even if that was not their original intention.} |
| 45:20 |
Someone who
is present while others make a zimmun,
but he neither ate
nor drank with them,
when he hears the leader say
"Let us bless .. we have eaten"
should answer:
"Blessed is He and blessed is His name,
continuously and forever".
Similarly, if ten make a zimmun,
and the leader says
"Let us bless our G-d ..."
he also should respond:
"Blessed is G-d
and blessed is His name,
continuously and forever".
If he entered
after the leader said
"Let us bless .. we have eaten",
but hears the people respond
"Blessed be He ... we have eaten..."
or "Blessed is our G-d, ... we have eaten"
he should respond after them
"Amen." |
| 45:21 |
Three who ate (together),
each from his own loaf,
and one of them
was eating bread from an idolator
while two are careful
(not to eat) bread from an idolator,
in any event
they make a zimmun.
The one (leading) blessing is,
the one who ate bread from an idolator,
for he can eat
also with the others. Similarly, if one is eating
dairy products
and two (others) meat products,
they join together.
The leader (of the grace),
is the one who ate the dairy products
for he can eat [after washing his mouth].
also from the other's food.
However, if the one who ate
the dairy products
does not drink wine,
or there isn't (wine) available,
or beer which is (from) "new produce" *
and he is particular (not to have) "new produce"; * {"New produce" refers to the prohibition against eating grain harvested before the sixteenth of Nissan. Certain opinions maintain that this prohibition applies only to Jewish grain grown in Eretz Yisroel. However, other are scrupulous in its observance even with regard to gentile grain grown in the Diaspora.}
* {This is the opinion of the Chayei Odom. However, the Magen Avrohom 196:1, the Shulchon Oruch HoRav 196:7, and the Mishnoh B'rurah 196:9 do not accept this leniency.} |
| 45:22 |
Women who ate with men
and they (the men) are obligated to zimmun,
they (the women) also are obligated,
and need to hear
the blessing of the zimmun. It is customary (with) a minor
not to include (him) in the zimmun
until he is thirteen years
and one day old.
Then he joins
and also can lead
in a zimmun
even though
we have not checked
if he has "two hairs" (the sign of maturity). |
| 45:23 |
A (non-observant) person who does not read
the Shema
in the morning and the evening
or violates (the Torah's) prohibitions in public
is not included in a zimmun. A convert
may be included in a zimmun.
Similarly, he may bless
and say:
"for giving our ancestors as a heritage..",
for it's written about Abraham [Genesis 17:5] that:
"I have made you a father of many nations."
[The Jerusalem Talmud, Bikkurim 1:4] interprets this:
"Previously,
you were a father only to Aram.
From now on,
(you will be a father) to all the nations." |