I was born in 1948 under the sign of Libra. As a lot of Transgendered persons I started out when I was in pre-school, I don't remember much of my early days, but I do remember playing with the girl next door and always wishing I could dress like her and be a girl. I remember also people asking my mother that "didn't she wish she had a girl instead of another boy." I know I use to cry myself to sleep sometimes wishing that I would wake up as a girl.
My first chance to dress up was in the seventh grade. I just started going to a parochial school and for the initiation the boys had to wear skirts and blouses with saddle shoes and the girls had to wear jackets and ties. I know this sounds made up, but it's not. Back in the mid - sixties they had freshmen initiations. We had to wear costumes that the ninth graders picked for us. ( As an example the next freshmen class had to dress up as a framers with a bib coveralls, rubber boots, a straw hat and had to have a piece of grass in his mouth all the time when they were out of class.)
From that time on I always crossdressed. It was always secret and hidden away. Back in the late sixties and early seventies transgender life styles were never discussed. I didn't know anybody else ever did it, until the Kink's song "Lola", and then my ears perked up and I knew I wasn't alone. Like most of us I had my purges where I threw away all my stash, but I always acquired a new one. I also grew a beard and tried to stop, but that didn't stop me either. It wasn't until the internet that I really found out what was out there and so with in that mind I wanted to create my little corner of the net.
In October 1999 I finally came somewhat out of the closet in that I joined the Connecticut Outreach Society and started to go to their sponsored events. I'm still not out to my family and friends, so you wouldn't find any pictures of me here. But, now after fifty some years I am making new friends as Diana. Where this new path will lead I do not know, will Diana take the main path or will my old self lead, I do not know. Every day is a new adventure and I look forward to conquering it and seeing where it will lead.
At a meeting of COS we were sitting around talking about how we picked our names and I thought I'll share with you how I picked mine. While in high school the only time I got to dress up was when my mother had to go to the doctor's office for her monthly allergy shots, so.... I would crossdress while she was gone. It was during one of those times that I was doing my homework and I had to look up a word in the dictionary and I came across Diana. The definition that it gave went something like this, "Roman god ( I forget the actual god that they named ) of the hunt who became a women and the goddess of love". Right then and there I knew what I wanted to call myself. The first time I got to use it was when I went to my first meeting at COS and signed in at the door and I thought back to some thirty years earlier when I picked that name.
Now through the years since I came out of the closet, I have grown in self-awareness and understanding. Some of my family have found out my little secret and most do not have a problem. None of my friends outside the community know it, but some day I expect I will goof up and make a mistake or accidentally bump into them when I am out in public. That is something I am now prepared to come to grips with, it is something that I don't live in fear with anymore. I have learned that if they can't deal with my transgenderism than they were never really my friends.
I have also found that there are many of my transgendered friends out there who have found accepting partners. So, if you have gotten this far and if you are women, single, live in Connecticut and would like to take that journey through life as a partner with me. Send me an E-mail and maybe we can get to know one another better and see what life has to offer.
Updated March 18, 2006
When I wrote this page back in May 2000 little did I know that in just under six years I would be where I am now, a political activist and educator. I have spoken to state legislators, lobbied in favor of the Anti-Discrimination bill, volunteer at True Colors GLBT Youth conference, sat on panels at colleges and university, became Executive Director of the support group Connecticut Outreach Society and sit on the Board of Directors of a transactivist group Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition.
How did I get from there to where I am now? I never made a conscious decision to do all these things; it was always a small step at a time. I joined COS when I first came out and started attending Board meetings because it gave me an excuse to dress up for another night. Then I started getting involved in the Board activity, became the Program Director and when the Executive Director resigned all of a sudden all the heads around the table were looking at me, so I said I would give it a try. Being the Executive Director I had to start interface with other groups and it broadened my horizons, I met other people from other GLBT groups and made friends.
One day I was invited to fill in on a panel discussion at a local college; I found I had a story to tell that was worth while. Then one day I was standing in line a restaurant and this young woman came up to me and said that I talked in a class she had, that now she was a social worker and she has a transgender client. Because of that class that I spoke in, she was more aware of what that individual was going through. That made me feel very good inside know I had made some transperson's life a little bit better.
As I attended support groups I started to hear stories of discrimination at the meeting, it started to get to me and I wanted to do something to help. A friend came up to me one day and asked if I would be willing to get involved getting legislation pasted to add gender and gender expression to the Anti-Discrimination law, I saw it as a chance to help and said yes.
The other day I stopping and turned around, looking at how I got to where I am now. I saw that I have covered great distances one step at a time. I liked where I have been and where I am going. A student at one of the classes one day asked me why I was there talking to the class, it didn't talk me long to come up with the answer. I said, "I was there so that the next generation wouldn't have to grow up the way I did. That I would do that through education, that I would teach compassion, understanding and tolerance."