June 23^rd

May 19^th

I went to Real Art Ways last night for the Creative Cocktail Hour and the talk by the artist about her work that went on display yesterday. Before her talk I went out to eat with a friend at a buffet. I didn't really care for the food I thought that the chicken that I had was dry and the ribs were all fat and grizzle, so I give it two thumbs down.

Today I am heading up to Ogunquit Maine for a long weekend. There are three of us from COS and three from the Sunshine Club that also will be up there for the weekend. I organized the trip so I hope that it turns out well.

May 14^th

We had a good turn out at both Twenty Club and COS yesterday. At COS we had a chili contest and at first I was worried that I would have the only entry, it would be kind of hard to have a contest with one entry. But, at the last minute four others brought some and I should have hoped that they didn't. I came in forth place! Bah!

After the COS meeting a lot of us headed over to Club Lucy, it would have been nice and I would have stayed later except for one thing, the music was just too damn loud! Painful loud! Ear ring loud! Why do they have to have it so loud? OSHA sets the maximum at 90db's and the threshold of pain is about 140db's. I already have Tinnitus; I don't need to have it get worse. So I left around eleven staying only a half an hour.

May 7^th

Saturday once the showers cleared, I went up to Northampton, MA for their Pride Day. I wandered around checking out the vendors, say Hi to those that I knew and then I sat down at the uniTy table so that some of them could wander around the Pride festival. Later I went up to Main Street with a fiend for some ice cream.

They moved the event from a baseball field down behind the railroad track up to a parking lot just off of Main Street. I haven't made up my mind yet as to whether I like the new location, to me it made it look smaller and more tightly packed. But I suppose one location is as good as another.

Northampton, is one of three GLBT friendly towns in New England, the other two are Provincetown, MA and Ogunquit ME. Northampton is a college town with five colleges or universities in the immediate area. One of them is Smith College which is one of the Seven Sisters and is located right in Northampton. The city itself has an old Victorian look to it and I love the wide streets and sidewalks. But I hate driving in the center of town; it can take an hour just to go a couple of block. From my house it is about an hour drive up I-91 and I usually park behind the bus station and walk from there.

May 2^th

I took a half day vacation from work so that I could do two Outreach panel discussions for Human Sexuality classes at a university in New Haven. There were five of us who were on the panel, a friend from COS, a FtM, another couple that I am friends with and myself. The panel discussions involved each of us telling our life stories followed by a question and answer session. We usually get asked some same questions each outreach; what bathroom do you use, how did you pick your name, are you gay and if you like women why change your gender. Then a host of other questions that I try to remember but I usually forget by the time the classes is over.

The class was amazed by the pictures the FtM passed around showing him before his transition, in his wedding dress and the four kids. They were also intrigued by the fact that he is still married to his husband and that the kids call him mom. In the first class it turned out there was another FtM who was taking the class and they knew each other through their Blogs. He also knew me because of a seminar I gave at the True Colors Conference a couple of years ago.

After the classes were over, my friend from COS, the couple and I went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant in Middletown.

April 30^th

My brother and his wife came down and stayed over night Saturday, so all week when I had some spare time I cleaned the house. Saturday morning I finished cleaning and I ran around all afternoon shopping as Diana. I went to buy curtains for my guest room, a gift for my Nephew's daughter ( A book and a stuff animal set ), a new robe and the food for dinner. When I got home I laid down on the couch and the next thing I knew the doorbell was ringing. The dinner went off without a hitch ( Shrimp Creole ), the only reaction I got when I answered the door as Diana was an "Oh" and a smile and the only negative of the night was that they called me by my male name and "he", but I'll work on that.

This morning still as Diana I made them French toast and then we headed of to my nephew's daughters birthday party ( As my male self, but I'm working on that also ).

April 29^th

I'm trying to find a little time to write this in-between cleaning the house as I get ready for a visit from my brother and sister-in-law this evening.

Wednesday night was COS meeting night and we had a psychology student from St Joseph College who interviewed COS members about trans issues. We had only a few members turn out for the meeting which worked out nice because it made having the discussion much easier. We got into a lot of good topics and I think we helped her understand us a little more. Those of you who went to the Banquet might remember her, she was the woman who was greeting you at the door and checking reservations.

Thursday night I went to the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition' Board meeting where I offered to help out with writing a request for a grant. I have never written one before and I think that this would be good training for me.

Well back to cleaning.

April 23^rd

I have a lot of catching up to do top bring my blog up to date.

Thursday was one of those days when everything came together. I took the day off from work, that was the first plus ( any day off from work is always a plus. ) and then I was on a panel discussion at a univerity with three other transgender person, two FtM's and another COS meber. That went excellently, there were about 150 -200 people in the audience and they asked a lot of good questions. Afterwards I went out to lunch with the and the other COS member.

Then I went grocery shopping, you say big deal! Well it was for me, it was the first time I ever went grocery shopping other than run in like a scared rabbit and run out. After I put away the groceries I went out to dinner with two friends and then over to Real Art Ways to see a new exhibit and hear a talk by the artist.

Then three friends and I went over to University of Hartford to listen to another lecture entitled "Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Rights as a Freedom of Expression Issue". Once again we were the small "t" in GLBT, at least the professor admitted at the beginning of the lecture, when he saw us, that there was no "T". It was interesting in spite of the fact it was all Gay and Lesbian based court cases.

Afterwards we raced back to Real Art Ways for the end of the cocktail party.

It was a very long day.

April 17^th

Saturday I went shopping at Kohl's and bought a pair of white jeans and a top. I went by myself and looked for the size and style of jeans I wanted and then found a matching top. Then I got some stuff for the spare bathroom. Afterwards I went to diner with a friend and then to Bingo. I had a good time playing Bingo, didn't win anything, but had a good time anyway and I met a lot of new people who were sitting at our table. I didn't stick around afterwards because I had to drive down to New Jersey on Easter morning to be with my brother's family, so I didn't want to stay out to late.

April 14^th

Thursday night I went to a lecture at the University of Hartford entitled; "Further Off the Straight and Narrow: A Decade of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Visibility, 1995-2005" produced and directed by Katherine Sender. Before the lecture I met a friend from COS at Goldroc Dinner for dinner and then we headed over to UoH for the lecture. The documentary was a rough cut, not the final version and she asked for our input to it, what we thought was good and what we thought could stand improving. I thought that over all it was a good documentary, however I thought that the part on transgender was a little weak and could be improved. We recommended a couple of TV shows that she could include; like "The Education of Max Bickford".

April 11^th

I just got back from seeing the Michael Moore movie "This Divided State" at Real Art Ways. It is about his being invited to talk at Utah Valley State College and how it divided the college, town and state. I liked it very much, but of course I am a Liberal, so some might say I am biased. What stuck me most was the fallout after the speech; a lawsuit was filed by the town mayor for use of student funds to have Moore talk, the Student Body Vice President resigned and the college lost $200,000 in donations that year.

Then afterwards I went to dinner at Goldroc with a friend.

April 9^th

Yesterday I went to Twenty Club and COS meetings. In between them I went out to dinner a pizza place on Park St. in West Hartford. There just the two of us at first and then we were joined by three other friends. At the last minute they were suppose to pick up our guest speaker but the information on how to contact her was not passed to them, so no guest speaker.

I pressed into service a friend from uniTy who was there to talk about the Northampton Pride, so the evening wasn't a complete loss. After the meeting a number of members headed over to Chez Est, at first I was going to go but I was just too tired.

April 7^th

It has been a slow week, I haven't done very much except pull my hair out trying to get all my paperwork together for my taxes. Tomorrow is Twenty Club and COS meetings and I will probably go out afterwards to Chez Est for a couple of drinks after the COS meeting.

April 1^st

Last night I went out to a GLBT bar in Hartford to meet up with some friends. I don’t really like the bar scene that much but I didn’t want to sit around the house. The music was loud, chest pounding loud but at least it not smoky any more. While we were there a woman came up to us and we were talked to her for awhile. While we were talking to her, her partner kept coming up and putting her arm around her, you could see that she was jealous of her talking to us and very possessive. My friends took of off around eleven thirty to go to another bar that was up in Springfield and I headed home.

March 29^th

Last night I went shopping at the Buckland Hills Mall with a friend from COS. It was the first time that I ever went to a mall shopping as usual nothing happened except that I spent over a hundreds dollars on clothes; a skirt, top and sweater. But no trouble at all with any of the stores, I even tried on the clothes. So I had a great time wandering around the mall. Afterwards we went over to a Starbuck's for a coffee and some good conversations.

Also yesterday I found out some disturbing news about the COS Banquet about some teenagers at the hotel that came by and knocked our stuff off the table in the hallway. Then later one of the parents came by and had some rough words with the person at the table, he pounded both of his hands on the table and shouted in her face "Why are you with these freaks, sex weirdo's". You know there is always one or two jerks in the world.

March 26^th

You know sometimes everything just comes together just right. The last five days were like that, even though it was hectic, it was a good sort of hectic and it cumulated in the COS Banquet last night. Yesterday morning I rushed over to the True Colors conference ( As usual I was a little late. ) and help out all morning trying to co-coordinate the presenter and trying to get that part to run smoothly, it was like controlled chaos. But it was rewarding knowing that I helped out in some small way. I left at noon to rush home and pack for the Banquet.

Then I rush over to the Meriden railroad station to pick up Helen and Betty, our guest speaker and her spouse, they are two of the nicest people I have ever met. The Banquet ran smoothly thanks to our tireless efforts of our Banquet Committee of one, she put it all together and I don't who was more nervous me or her, but it came off flawlessly. The Awards Committee, myself and one other handed out the awards to our members, a Newcomer and a Srevice Awards. When I gave the award out I got so tongue tied I couldn't say anything right, but when I do outreach I can talk and talk with no problem. Stand me up behind a podium and I become speechless. Go figure! They surprised me with and acknowledgement my efforts for COS. It brought me to tears, thanks from the bottom of my heart. I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. I managed to crawl up to my room around twelve-thirty.

This morning I took Helen and Betty to the train station, we stopped first to have a late breakfast and a nice leisurely conversation. Once again, thank you for coming to speak and for treating me to breakfast.

And now tomorrow, back to the reality of work.

March 24^th

It was a long day for me at the True Colors conference; I got there a little after 8:00am and stayed until around 4:30pm. In the morning I got signatures for a petition in favor of the bill to add Gender and Gender Expression to the Anti-Discrimination Act so I was on my feet most of the morning. In the afternoon I helped out off and on as one of the Presenters Liaison with a two-way radio ear piece sticking out of my ear. That was weird! With all of these conversations going off in my head as I was trying to care on a conversation, it was very distracting. Kind of like the Pink Floyd's song Brain Damage, "...There's someone in my head but it's not me...." it took a little getting use to.

Anyhow, tomorrow more of True Colors in the morning and then I have to get ready for the COS Banquet in the evening. I have to pick up our guest speaker at the railroad station and then off to the hotel. Another long day.................

March 23^rd

I have been really really busy! Yesterday I had my hair done at 4:30 in Glastonbury, had electrolysis at 6:00 in Rocky Hill and at 7:00 the COS meeting in Waterbury at Tonkin's Wigs. The meeting is always so nice and the store owner is always so friendly, it is always a pleasure going there.

Today after work I rushed over to the Farmington Post Office to pick up the COS mail, went to the True Colors in New Britain to help them set up for a couple of hours and then up to Hartford for the CTAC Board meeting..

Tomorrow is the True Color Conference all day, from 8:00am until 5:00pm, it is going to be a long day.

March 20^th

Hee.....Hee......Hee .........
I looked all over for a black pair of slacks last week, every where I could think of but I couldn't fine them anywhere. Well this morning getting ready to go to work, I grab my male clothes and started to put on my pants. As went to zip up the fly I noticed that the zipper was on the wrong side. I found them! Luckily I wasn't half asleep and wore them to work.

March 19^th

I went out to dinner in Middletown to Tuscany's with a friend from COS. I was getting boarded from eating at home so I sent out a SOS to some friends and she replied that she would love to go out to dinner.

As I said many times before it is nice to be able to go out to dinner and relax, enjoy the meal, a glass of wine and good conversation. Ah...........

March 18^th

Yesterday, I went to a St. Patrick's Day party complete with Corn Beef, potatoes and cabbage. This morning when I weighed myself I gained a couple of pounds, too much good food!

I was going to go help clean the Hartford Pride Center this morning but I didn't get home until after midnight and I had a fitful sleep, so I am dog tired. Maybe I try to make it this afternoon.

March 16^th

Today I went to Uconn Health Center to be on a panel discussion for second year medical students. There were eight of us on the panel and once the doctor who was teaching the class got through with his talk we got to tell our life stories. After that there wasn't much time left for the Q & A secession afterwards, but it was a productive afternoon.

Then tonight I went to the Real Art Way's Creative Cocktail Hour and met up with some friends. I got there early and wandered around looking at the art before my friends showed up. So over all it was a nice day. The day ended in the plus column.

March 12^th

PM

Did anyone see Sixty Minutes tonight? They had a segment call "The Science Of Sexual Orientation" They discussed the possible causes of being gay and how it might be caused by pre-natal hormones. They presented some interesting theories on how and why this may happen.

I tend to agree with most of what they said and I think that it is caused by pre-natal hormones and genetics. However, I don't think that Adam in the opening piece is not gay but transgender.

AM

Ok, where to being? Well on Thursday I went up to uniTy in Springfield for their meeting.

Then on Friday, I went out to dinner with a couple of friends. First we met at a teasroom in Hartford that had all types of awards from a local avant-garde newspaper. Well I was very disappointed in the place, it was nice, but they did not have any de-caffeinated teas! They didn't have any; Earl Grey, Ceylon or Orange Pekoe teas they only had fruity flavored teas that were de-caffeinated. Uck! The coffee shop up in Springfield, where uniTy meets, has a better selection of tea than then this so called number one rated tearoom.

Anyhow, we got some work done there, I am redesigning the CTAC web-site so we went over re-design of a couple of pages I did on a beta test page and I got the go ahead to proceed with the design. Then after we left the tearoom ( Or the so called tearoom ) went out to dinner at a local restaurant for dinner.

Then yesterday was the Twenty Club and COS meetings. At the COS meeting we tried having a fashion show, I was a little leery of the idea when it was brought up at the Board meeting, but it turned out rather well. I took part as well as three other gals. We had three categories, casual, day/business and evening wear. It was rather fun in doing and I was glad that I took part in it.

After the COS meeting broke up, I went over to a local bar with a group of friends, the bar was having their monthly lesbian night. Anyone who knows me, know that I usually don't like going out to bars, but last night I was in the mode so I went. It was OK, but most of the women there were in there twenties, a little bit too young for me. I got a chuckle though, the bar is mainly a gay bar and the guys there last night looked a little lost. They had the look on their faces like that of a house dog when somebody sits on their favorite chair. Kind of lost, not knowing what to do, their comfortable spot was taken over by these, these girls! Like, "There's a woman sitting on my barstool!" what do I do now? One guy was just standing there looking at the bar stool, not the woman, just the stool, stand there with a drink in his hand, looking at the bar stool in the corner; the one where you can sit on it and lean back against the wall and rest your drink on the bar. Well he looked so lost, you could read it all over his face. It was so funny!

March 6^th

I did something really really stupid today, I accidentally printed out my testimony for the Anti-Discriminations bill on the network print at work today. And one of my employees read it!

I think I am going to curl up in to a ball and cry..................

March 3^rd

I have been away on a business trip to our corporate headquarters' for most of the week and I was stuck in boy mode. However on the bright side, I got to fly out and back on the corporate jet. That was so neat that it almost, almost made up for being stuck in boy mode. The plane is a Gulfstream IV and it holds eight passengers. When I arrived at the private plane end of the airport, I just walk up to the plane and handed the co-pilot my bags and she checked off my name. On takeoff from Bradley field I looked down the aisle and out the cockpit window, I could watch the pilot and co-pilot and see the runway. We cruised at 30,000 ft at 497 mph, on the bulkhead of the passenger cabin there was an altimeter and ground speed and on the rear bulkhead there was also an altimeter and speed but it also had airspeed, mile to go and a map with our location.

The only thing that got me a little nervous was when the co-pilot brought out the plane manuals and started reading. I thought what is she doing that for, is there a problem? But they both seemed OK, not rushed or excited and there were no flashing lights in the cockpit. So I thought it couldn't be any major problem, probably something minor like a radio or something. At work today, someone who is a pilot said that she was probably just reading the manual learning the aircraft.

On the way back the plane was almost filled and there were a couple of VP's on board as soon as we got airborne they raided the icebox and broke out the beer and snacks They started talking about business so I had to sit there while they were talking about some contract or other. Then one of them started making small talk with me. When someone mentioned that there was six inches of snow on the ground, I said "Shit". He asked me if I had some plans for the night and I said "Yeah, I was planning on going out." My brains slip's into "Little White Lie Mode", after all I couldn't say I was going out drag bar with some tranny friends and me dressed as Diana, so I said I had a date. So he asked, "Where were we going?" Brain spins a couple times trying to get into gear, so I said, "Hartford for dinner, but they probably have a parking band so I probably get a pizza and go over to her apartment", wink, wink, nod, nod and after that he just smiled and stop asking questions. Whew!

We made great time coming back, our airspeed was 600 mph with a 100 mph tailwind, but once we got on the ground and I had to drive home, it took longer to drive home than fly back from almost Ohio. I-91 traffic was going 30 - 40 mph in the snow, the roads were very bad.

February 26^th

Yesterday's Twenty Club meeting was a snoozer, nothing much was discussed. In a way it is good that nothing much was discussed, that meant there was any crisis.

Today I went to Trinity's Cinestudio to see "Breakfast on Pluto" again. I think it is a really good movie and I recommend it, as a matter of fact I will probably go out and buy the DVD when it comes out.

Now I have to do some laundry for the stuff I am taking on the business Tuesday.

February 25^th

I have been a little negligent in keeping this updated, but I have been very busy this week ( So, what else is new. ). On Tuesday I went to a planning committee for the True Colors conference and there I volunteered to be one of the Presentation Liaisons. My duties will be when a seminar presenter comes in to see that they have everything that they need for their seminar; projector, DVD player, etc. and to see that they have an escort to their classroom.

Wednesday night was the COS meeting. Wow! We had about twenty members and guests there for the Koffee Klatch on "Tips on coming out to family and friends". It was a very positive meeting with a lot of ideas on what worked and what didn't work.

Thursday night I didn't go to the uniTy meeting because I went to a Board meeting for the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Collation. At the meeting we discussed what our goals are and how we can reach them. I was invited to the meeting to see if I would be interested in joining the Board. I think I will since most of their goals correspond to my goals also and I think I can give positive input to them.

Then today is the Twenty Club meeting in a couple of hours and tomorrow I am thinking about going to see "Breakfast on Pluto" again since it is playing at Trinity College Cinestudio. Monday there is an Anti-Discrimination Collation meeting. Then Tuesday through Thursday I will be away at our corporate headquarters' in Pennsylvania. UGH!

But, Thursday night is Transgender night at the Polo Club in Hartford, which I hope I can be home early enough to go to.

February 19^th

Last night I went down to New London to visit a friend who was up here from Florida and we were supposed to go shopping and then out to dinner. When I got there she suggested skipping shopping, since it was only 21 degrees out with a twenty mile an hour wind blowing it didn't take much to twist my arm. Later we went out to eat at the Beckley House, we got there a little early for our reservation and also our other friend had not arrived yet. So we sat at the bar and had a drink, watching the end of the Uconn men's basketball game ( They won ). Our friend arrived and we went over to our table, I ordered lobster ravioli with a Newburg sauce. The dinner was delicious except that the Newburg sauce was tomato based, it was more like a marinara sauce and I always thought it was cream based sauce with some sherry, but it was still very good, just different.

While we were eating a couple came in and was seated next to us, they kept looking over at us, then they got up and left without ordering. Was it because of us? Or maybe I am just reading too much into it, if it was us, then that is too bad that they are so bigoted. Everyone else in the restaurant had no problem with three trannies having a night out on the town.

Afterward we went down the street to a local watering hole, Club 251, for a couple of drinks; I left around nine-thirty and got home at twenty of eleven. It nice to visit friends you haven't seen in awhile, but it was a long drive back for me.

February 18^th

Another couple of busy nights, Thursday night was the Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways in Hartford and before we went we had dinner at Goldroc Dinner. At the CCH we met some others friends who were there already. Then last night I went to the Charter Oak Cultural Center to see the Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. It was sold out when we got there and we were put on the waiting list. We were lucky to get a seat and I enjoyed the performance immensely, both the funny parts and also the sad parts. The play is light hearted, but it also has it very serious parts where they deal with rape, incest and genital mutilation. During the play they also included "They Beat the Girl Out of My Boy" which is also by Eve Ensler, which dealt with transgender issues.

And tonight I am going down to New London to meet with a couple of friends at the Berkley House for dinner and then out to a local bar.

February 12^th

Thursday I went up to uniTy in Springfield MA and there was a really great turn-out for that meeting. Then yesterday was Twenty Club and the COS meetings, in between them some of us went out to eat at Goldroc Dinner. At COS we had a couple of guests who spoke about laser hair removal, plus we had a new member join.

This coming week is going to be a busy week; Tuesday is the True Color organizing meeting, Wednesday electrolysis, Thursday Creative Cocktail Hour at Real Art Ways, Friday the Vagina Monologues and Saturday a pot luck supper at the CT Pride Center. Whew! Busy, busy, busy!

February 5^th

Yesterday was a long day, I went to the lobbying training at the Legislature Office Building, but it was worth every bit of it. I got there about fifteen minutes early and looked for a park space at the Legislature Office Building parking garage, but it was closed so I had to parked on Oak St. Walking in to the Legislature Office Building was impressive with the massive atrium and I asked the guard where the meeting room was. It was just around the corner of the main lobby and when I walked in to the meeting a number of friends and acquaintances were there already plus a couple of people that I did recognize. I helped out with a couple of minor clerical tasks before the training got under way.

They had assembled an impressive group to help us, there were lobbyist from Connecticut and regional/national organizations including the Nation Gay and Lesbian, Transgender Civil rights Project Taskforce. The training session was well laid out and professionally managed. We were in one of the actual hearing rooms that we might testify in so that was a big help. They went over what the bill is, what it covers, what it doesn't cover, how to respond to questions from legislators and to go over our life stories. After lunch we had a role plying session where the professional lobbyist played our representatives and practiced talking to time. Last we went over developing a communications network so we could stat in touch and get information out to those that were there.

When I left, I felt very much empowered. We might not get the law passed this year because of the short legislative session this year, but I feel we will definitely get it passed next year.

Then last night I went to the Fundraiser Bingo for the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective. I know, I know, you say bingo! That is an old ladies game. Yeah, but it is fun and it was a good night out with friends.

And tonight I am going to see Transamerica again with a friend.

February 3^rd

Why does someone throw away their life with so much hate? The attack at Puzzles Lounge in New Bedford was such a horrible senseless act of hate that I can't see how a person could have that much hate bottle up inside them. Because of that hate he put three people into the hospital and threw away his own life.

These hate moguls whether it is in the Middle East or here in the U.S. they just fill the souls of their followers with hate, so much hate that it drives out their humanity. They corrupt these people minds and fill them with hate. Why would this boy try to kill three people he didn't know?

My first thoughts were, "I hope they execute this boy when they caught him!" but that won't solve anything. It is the one's who promote the hate, it is the one's who taught him to hate that should be locked away.

I am not very religious and maybe I am naive, but to me, Jesus taught understanding, tolerance and compassion and that is the way I try to live my life. Why can't others feel the same?

Tomorrow I am going for lobbying training at the Legislature Office Building so that I can lobby for adding Gender and Gender Expression to the Anti-Discrimination Law. That and the Hate Crimes Law won't stop the hate or discrimination ( I am not that naïve. ) but it will say to society that the government will not tolerate that kind of behavioral.

January 31^st

Looking back at the movie Transamerica, I gave it a B because of several things that I couldn't put a finger on last night. But after giving it some thought what was bothering me was the facts that;

As I said I loved the acting, I think she did a fantastic job of portraying a transwoman, but the story line was weak. Which is why I gave it a B.

January 30^th

I went to see "The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" yesterday afternoon. I like it very much. It was a nice way to have a relaxing afternoon where your troubles could be forgotten for a couple of hours. Afterwards the three of us went to a pizza place in East Hartford for dinner.

Tonight I went to see Transamerica with a group from COS and would rate it a B. Felicity Huffman gave an excellent performance, the story was a little weak, but yes I would go back again to see it.

January 29^th

Yesterday the Twenty Club meeting went slow, no big topics and in a way it nice to have an unemotional meeting. Afterwards we all headed over to our favorite Mexican restaurant and when I said all, I mean all there were nine of us there. I was expecting three or four of us, not the whole crew just about. Anyhow, dinner was nice.

After dinner three of us went back to the CT Pride Center ( formally Project 100 Hartford GLBT Center ) to watch a Cabaret which was held as a fund raiser to the center.

January 27^th

I finally found some time to sit down and update my blog, it has been a busy week.

As I mentioned on Tuesday I went to the planning secession for the True Colors conference. Wednesday was the COS meeting and yesterday I went to Real Art Ways.

At the COS meeting we had several new people showed up plus a few that having been there for awhile. The meeting was very supportive.

At RAW I went to the book readings by several authors. They were all good but one of the authors had me laughing so hard that I couldn't catch my breath. He was talking about how his girlfriend talked him into having his chest waxed by her. I hadn't had such a good laugh in a long time.

But afterwards he had to rune it. I went up to him to say how I enjoyed it immensely and he thanked my by saying, "Thank you SIR." He went out of his way to say "sir", none of the other people that were thanking him did he say "sir" or "miss" to, but he had to say "sir" to me and he emphasized the word. I just don't understand why some people do that, do they get a kick out of it? Do they think that we are playing so type of game? Do they think that we don't know that we don't pass and they have to point that out to us?

I just sadly shook my head and walked away, I didn't owe that jerk a comment and I am sure that some of those that were standing waiting to talk to him felt the same way I did about.

January 24^th

I just got back from the True Colors organization meeting, I decided I going to volunteer this year to help out at the conference. I have been to three conferences, gave a couple presentations and ?womanned? the COS table at them all. So this year I thought I'll give back some of what I have gotten out of the conferences.

January 22^nd

I just got back from First Event up in Woburn MA. which is sponsored by the Tiffany Club of New England. I went up there with a friend, we shared the room to cut expenses and I also didn't go to the Fashion Show and the Banquet for the same reasons. On Friday I went to two seminars on coming out at work and job discrimination and that night we went out to a local restaurant for dinner. Afterwards I was going to go down to the bar once the Fashion Show got over, but I fell asleep watching television and by the time I woke up, I didn't feel like going down there.

Saturday morning there wasn't anything I wanted to attend and at lunch I met some on-line friends from "My Husband Betty" forum. After lunch I went to a seminar on hormones and then one by Dr Bowers. For dinner my friend and I went down to the bar and eat down there and we staked out a table for us over in the corner. When the Banquet got out a number of them came down to the bar and my fiend and I were watching the locals watching the banquet attendees in the gowns and outfits, some of them were quite skimpy. During the evening friends would stop by and say hi as we sat there. I had a pretty good time and stayed there until around midnight.

On the way home we stopped at a fast food restaurant on the Berlin Turnpike for lunch, of course I was nervous being so close to home but no one saw me.

For the two days that I was there I spent around two hundred dollars for the hotel, attending the conference, food and drink.

January 19^th

Last night I went to a panel discussion on adding Gender and Gender Expression to the Anti-Discrimination laws. The forum was sponsored by an impressive list of organizations; CCLU, CWEALF, GLAAD, Love Makes A Family, Anti-Defamation League of Connecticut, Rainbow Center, University of Connecticut and CTAC. They talked about up coming legislation and what they are proposing and how it will affect us. One of the panelists talked about when he was a lesbian he was protected from being fired, denied housing or services but now that he is a transmen he is no longer protected.

You know me, I volunteered to get lobbyist training and testify.

Afterwards, four ous went to a pizza place but that was closed by the time we got there. So we went to a dinner up the street.

Opps! !. I got a flu shot at work by the company nurse and when I rolled my sleeve up, the lace trim of my Tee shirt was visible. Oh well.

I brought my car down to the dealers for a grease and oil change and they also were going to update the car's software. Well I left it off at the dealers at 8:00am and at 2:30pm I called to check to see why they didn't call earlier that it was ready. They said they were just bringing it in to do the work on it. I got a ride from work to the dealer and I sat there for a half hour, doing a slow boil, I got out of there at 4:20. They really pissed me off, one hour of work and it took them all day. I am going away to First Event tomorrow and I had a loads of earns to run; I had to make copies of the COS Banquet flyers, stop at the grocery store to pick up my prescription, stop at the bank to straighten out an error that they made, do my nails and then go out to dinner before going to the Real Art Ways Creative Cocktail party. Because of those ___ ____ I ended up only getting the flyers and my medicine. I got to the dinner late all wound up, didn't enjoy the dinner and ended up leaving the cocktail party early. I just got finished doing my nails before I typed this and I am still all strung out because of the ____ dealer! Ahggg.........

January 15^th

Yesterday was a double meeting day, Twenty Club in the afternoon and COS at night. The Twenty Club meeting was very productive and we cover some heavy issues. At the COS meeting we were suppose to have a guest speaker on skin care, but she had to cancel out at the last minute and that left us without a schedule agenda. However the meeting turned out pretty good, despite the rain.

Some people think I am a support group junky because I go to Twenty Club, Connecticut Outreach Society and uniTy , but I go for a variety of reasons. I go to the Twenty Club because I need support and to give support. I want to help out those that are questioning their gender. Do I feel that I should give back to the community what I have taken out? No, I do it because I feel that my experience of what I have been though might help make someone else's journey easier. Also the Twenty Club is a support group in the truest sense, it is a place where you can get down and talk about the problems that you have.

COS is different in that it is a social/support group. We not only have meetings on make-up, hair style and etc., we have trips to restaurant and for shopping. We get the members out and into the general public to build up there confidence.

So I feel that both groups complement one another, they both fill a need for me.

uniTy, I go because of friendship, many of it's members went to the Twenty Club but split off and started the Springfield group, it is a nice way to stay on touch. And they also have a lot of social events that I like to go to.

All of the groups give me, support, a sense of helping and friendship. I get a lot out of them and I give a lot to them and hopefully I will make me a better person.

January 12^th

I like to say welcome to everyone who stopped by here from Peterson's Blog, I hope you enjoy your visit. For everyone else, I did a guest essay for Peterson Toscano Blog about what we have in common with the GLB community, go over there and check it out.

The big news today, what is all the gossip among my friends is the Hartford Advocate article about the Trans community in Hartford. Many of my friends are quoted in the article. I think the article was done very well, it is a fair and fairly accurate. The only one I don't know in the article is psychologist Dr. Lois Spivack, but I know everyone else, Deja, Jerimarie, Barbara, Michelle and Quinton.

Earlier in the week I went to see the movie "Breakfast on Pluto". The movie is about a baby that was giving up for adoption in Ireland, once he grows up he sets off to find his mother in London. Oh one other detail, he is Trans, which makes her journey that more harrowing.

Tonight, I am heading up to Springfield to visit so friends from uniTy, another transgender support. On Friday, Deja wants to go out to Chez Est so I might go there, it depends on how late she wants to get there..

January 6^th

Wow! Yesterday was a big, BIG day! I can out to the Human Resources manager. I have known her for over ten years and have worked closely to her on some projects. I have been beating around the bush the last couple of months trying to feel her out on the subject of GLBT. So yesterday I was talking her about going to the Winterfest fund raiser for the Hartford Community Center that it was semi-formal and she said, "Oh do you have a Tux or is it Jacket and Tie?" I started to say, "Tux" when I thought; "Oh hell" now's a good time to get it out. So I told her, put it all out on the table, so to speak. She was very supportive and we talked for over an hour. In the end she wanted to know what was the dress like that I was going to wearing.

I went to the Winterfest that night, it wasn't as good as it was in previous years, but I did have a good time and enjoyed myself. I think they should have advertised better, instead of sending invitations they would have had a better turn-out.

Afterwards, I went out to a restaurant to hear a band play that we are thinking about having play at our COS Banquet. However they never showed up, so I just had a cup of coffee and left.

January 5^th

I been wondering all week what to do, a girl just has to party! Well a friend just invited me to go to Real Art Ways to see a movie. Then boom another thing comes up for tomorrow night, Winterfest at Trinity. It is a semi-formal fund raiser for the GLBT Community Center of Hartford, it is forty dollars, but it is for a good cause so I will most likely go to that.

So tat ta, so see you all late.....

January 4^th

I have been a little busy and didn't have much time to update my entries (If the truth is to be known, I forgot to update it.) anyhow on New Years Day I went down to the shore to a friend's house and had dinner down there. It was a nice dinner sitting around with three others friends with good conversation. You can't ask for a better holiday than that.

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