The Retropoet
The "Letters" Page
E-mailed to the Retropoet in July
REDNECK DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION
Last name: _______________________________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
[] Billy-Bob [] Bobby-Sue
[] Billy-Joe [] Bobby-Jo
[] Billy-Ray [] Bobby-Ann
[] Billy-Sue [] Bobby-Lee
[] Billy-Mae [] Bobby-Ellen
[] Billy-Jack [] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
[] Billy-Roscoe
Age: _______ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ___ M ___ F ___ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Right ____ Left
Occupation:
[] Farmer [] Mechanic
[] Hair Dresser [] Waitress
[] Unemployed [] Dirty Politician
Spouse's Name: ____________________
2nd Spouse's Name: ____________________
3rd Spouse's Name: ____________________
Lover's Name: ______________________
2nd Lover's Name: _______________________
Relationship with spouse:
[] Sister [] Aunt
[] Brother [] Uncle
[] Mother [] Son
[] Father [] Daughter
[] Cousin [] Pet
Number of children living in household: ________
Number of children living in shed: ________
Number of children that are yours: ________
Mother's Name: _____________________
Father's Name: _____________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you []own or []rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
_____ Total number of vehicles you own
_____ Number of vehicles that still crank
_____ Number of vehicles in front yard
_____ Number of vehicles in back yard
_____ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
_____ Truck _____ Kitchen
_____ Bedroom _____ Bathroom
_____ Shed
Model and year of your pickup: __________ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
[] Yes []No; If no, please explain.
Newspapers/Magazines you subscribe to:
[] The National Enquirer [] The Globe
[] TV Guide [] Soap Opera Digest
[] Rifle and Shotgun
_____ Number of times you've seen a UFO
_____ Number of times you've seen Elvis
_____ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
[] Weekly
[] Monthly
[] Not applicable
How many teeth? _____
Colour of teeth:
[] Yellow [] Brownish-Yellow
[] Brown [] Black
[] N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[] Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
[] 1 mile
[] 2 miles
[] don't know
Thank You For Your Time
Letters to Retropoet (July) / Retropoet / Geocities / retropoet@geocities.com / revised November, 1998