My LIFE...
as of
today. |
|
My LIFE...
as of
today. |
| Mars Versus Venus
Rebecca <last name deleted> and Gary <last name deleted> English 44A SMU Creative Writing - Prof. Miller |
| The Story... |
| /
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question. / |
| /
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. / |
| /
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. / |
| /
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow'em out of the sky!" / |
| /
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent. / |
| /
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. / |
| //
Asshole. / |
| /
Bitch. / |
|
|
| Apocalypse
by Kree And so it happened that Monday, 15th April 2007, would be the most important day ever in civilised human history. For it was the day that Russia and the United States of America would actually join forces to, in a rather corny sense, save the world. An asteroid 5000 kilometres wide in diameter and named idiotically XG-1100 was hurtling through space and by some freak chance would actually intercept good mother Earth on her own peaceful orbit around the sun. Of course, this fact had already been established a good 5 years in advance and after much hesitation and reconfirmations from astronomers (as well as astrologers, for the leaders were not spared from superstitions either), the fact was announced to earthlings who had some form of communications either in the form of radios or televisions. Not to say that the Lamas in Tibet were safely coccooned in their own world, but they would have known anyway from the numerous New-Age-cum-UFO cults that sprung up over the past five years and had sought out hiding places for salvation from the rock-of-doom in the mountains of Tibet, never mind the communist soldiers that were stationed there (although they too were more worried about how to survive the massive collision and had reportedly demanded assured places of stay should the nuclear tactics not work on 15th April). …intercalated in between our very existence and the cosmos… there sat a being who could not be described by any images, word or words strung together. It was, at this very moment while earthlings were panicking over the fact that a rock was going to smash into their common habitation area that the being was in a very abstract sense of the phrase, 'watching television'. For the show that was playing on the celestial TV was infinitely more complex than any show Hollywood (or Bollywood)… As the hour neared towards the launch time of a nuclear warhead, the first ever fired for the common good of humanity, there seemed to be an almost imperceptible hush over Earth as friends hugged each other for what they feared might be the last time, lovers whispered and huddled together, parents cuddled their kids, families all cooped up into their homes.. ok, you get the idea. So anyway in a tiny island just south of Malaysia there was a 25 year old Chinese male called Tom. He was very disappointed at this very moment in time because he had gotten a terrible stomach ache and was pondering on the toilet seat how ridiculous it was for him to be sitting on porcelain and trying to pacify his gastrointestinal tract's tantrums (as well as the parasympathetics.. for the med people out there…) as his existence was being seriously threatened by something which did not even have a grudge against him. …the
being leaned forward in anticipation as the 'television' showed among
Tom
grimaced as his stomach heaved through another wave of peristalsis and
Across the entire globe, all homes were lit up by the flickering lights of their TV sets and everyone watched intently as the screen depicted a vast blackness lit up by stars. A discernible tension developed as a greyish rock illuminated by sun-photons appeared, at first as a tiny dot.. and gradually increased in size as the warhead approached XG-1100. People unconsciously gripped anything near at hand, the armrests, their spouses' arms, anything. Tom squeezed the wad of toilet tissue in his hands tight as his long intestine heaved again. …the being paused in all his actions and focused on the sensation of the nuclear missile as it shot through space… There was a blinding light and the screens went blank. The TVs across the globe paused in anticipation as scientists at NASA calculated feverishly what the rock's new path would be after being hit. …the being blinked… A wave of relieve was almost audible way in space
as it followed the path of the cable and satellite networks which transmitted
the good news to everyone that tomorrow was a reality after all. Tom could
hear cheering but oddly enough did not feel relieved.
While the entire globe was cheering Tom realised he was not feeling well not because of his stomachache.. the feeling was more of a premonition if anything. He stared at the bathroom tiles and suddenly realised sadly that… …pressed the button… … the physicists were right in some ways after all. That the universe would end not as an infinitely expanding balloon but as the Grand Collapse. …and sensed as the 'image' of reality shrank into a small white dot on the 'screen' before disappearing altogether. Time for the next show… And Tom and everyone else was no more. …which was at 5.30 p.m. But before that, it
had some judgement to do.
|