A night's activities.

MY LIFE...as of too early in the morning.

o
You know what? you can Never figure what's gonna happen to you. Not even when you're dead to the world. Not even when you have no life. No surprises, My FOOT.

    Yesterday started out the dreariest day...slept at 6am in the morning and woke again at 10am, why, i don't know, since i had nothing to do except go online again. There is something intrinsically wrong with this but nevermind that for now. Anyway, i continue... it was one of those days where u slouch around in old clothes and basically vegetate. Highly unproductive. This goes on for about 7 hours...i must've fallen into a coma somewhere in the middle...And then suddenly, someone calls to ask me to a play! heh. Keeping in mind i was in a state of optimum sloth and i Looked it, obviously i didn't want to go, but there was more to this evening outing than just a play.
    I suddenly realise im about to malu myself beyond belief..(again?)..by writing this...Oh fish.
Nevermind. Okay. i tell you. The prime reason i was asked, was cos edwin was going to be there! remember edwin? yes..he..the one before the one-who-shalt-not-be-named. I am such a jia lat, no luck, pathetic piece of paradoxical punishment. I dropped my crush on edwin months ago..after all, there's only so much a girl's ego can take before she cuts her losses and brings out the chocolate.. Then came the next one, who turned out to be a dud, hamster-face or not... Basically, i've got no one to rave about now (my long suffering friends/rave victims obviously doing celebratory funky chicken dance at this point)... I think im not making any sense here. Okay. Start again. *rewind*
    Right. The gist of it is, i met edwin there, didn't say anything to him, like the past 5 mths (possibly regrettable), and when the whole play ended (a forceful, direct, and slightly corny message on heaven/hell), i was about to go home in the dreary cold night, repeating the pitiful ennui that is my life, when somehow we found ourselves running across the road(s), in a bold attempt to elicit a ride from edwin and friends (with car! -duh).
    It worked, we recovered ourselves, squeezed in(oof) and waited to see what would happen. Okay. now anyone who's been a teenager in s'pore will understand the situation where no one knows where to go, no one wants to go anywhere in particular, and no one wants to go home. Usually you stand around in indecision, obstructing traffic in shopping centre corridors, at escalators, traffic light junctions, Anything. but you don't move. Its terrible. In a car however, its alot more interesting. You can drive around aimlessly, see... :)

    So 4 guys and 2 girls ended up in a chinese restaurant. Atmosphere was initially chilly. Decided i had been quite deluded about Someone(i don't know why i bother now), and dealt with it in a mature manner by sulking and not eating anything. Lost my appetite anyway. (ha) As the night went on however, it warmed up, and Someone started looking better...and i know the tea wasn't spiked... I'd found a new friend! and it was nice.
    But my new friend is leaving in about a week. He's going back to s'pore. Maybe he doesn't even think of me as a friend. who figures, who cares? he's going to read this, i might as well die. Okay maybe not. This is the second time this has happened to me. Some higher authority is laughing at me.
    Month-odd ago, i met this guy by the name of kevin (stop snorting, kelly), and he was cool too. made me damn homesick, i remember...friend-sick..whichever. And he left for s'pore in a matter of days too. Oh well. Cant say life would be better with him/edwin still around. in fact, with a grudging nod to Reality, life would still pretty much suck.

    I know no one here as socially maladjusted as me, no one i can call regularly to crap with without having to choose my words, and its Lonely. LONELY. I think i've said this before. i forget. To be fair, there're these 3 indonesian girls who've been absolutely lovely to me and im dearly fond of them. There're also the two idiots(in a nice way) who brought me to the play in the first place. They tolerate me admirably. Its not the lack of friends im bemoaning, its the absence of having solid familiar walls i can bounce my neuroses back on. I say solid cos icq/email is effective, but not the same thing as being there. even just on the phone its more real. I miss my friends. that mad bunch of warped-yet-brilliant social misfits. *sniff* . yah. You all. *sniff*
    To go back to my exciting(sigh) night-out, we left the restaurant for Starcity (da casino) where yours truly was the regular wide-eyed fiscal virgin, even now still not quite recovered from the smell of all that money. lost won thrown away. Money. and stale cigarette smoke. Wheeze.
Edwin was sweet, patiently explaining the nuances of the games to yours truly suaku, and it was fun for awhile..in fact it was fun for like 2 hours..(you realise its about 3am in the morning by then)... but inevitably, it got boring and i all but lost interest in edwin, in the game, in the quirky colored chips, and the expensive/tacky decor of the place started to hurt my eyes. It wasn't so bad though, the other 2 guys were fun to talk to.
    Things i learnt: 1. my attempts at chinese/cantonese are apparently a source of comic relief and if i want credibility, i shld just stick to english. 2. edwin is scary. filthy rich or otherwise, a 23 yr old who gambles with thousands like pennies is Scary. 3. Im very poor. 4. A Lotus Elise(elsie?) here costs $76000+, a 1.6L Toyota corolla with no frills in s'pore costs $98000+/w coe. 5. There's almost no point getting a drivers' license in singapore. 6. Teh tarik is apparently of indian origin even though it blatantly, misleadingly, calls itself by its malay name. 7. this tell-all tendency of mine is freaking me out. argh. i had 2.5 hrs of sleep this morning. I reserve the right to retract everything i said on this page.

Ooh!!! Beck on radio!! his new sexy kino remix of Air's Sexy Boy!! its slightly queer..but way cool nonetheless. :) *rave rave* Beck update: recently, Spin magazine did a top 40 list of the most Vital people in music today. Beck was #1!!!!!! beat That. hah.
Radiohead placed second, and i think the smashing pumpkins are 18th... puts things into a lovely perspective doesn't it? heheheh.

Right. definitely time to end this and get some food/sleep. Seems like the next friendly guy i meet'll prolly be headed back to s'pore in a matter of days.
Me and my life. Read it and reflect. Aren't you the lucky one?

till the lemmings learn to swim,
pray for me