FUN & WHIMSICAL LAUGHTER

How to make a cop mad

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong ossifer, too much blood in my alchohol?"
   

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you thought he wanted to race.
   

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
   

4. If he asks if you know how fast you were going, say "No, My speedometer only goes to 100mph!"
   

5. Ask if you can see his gun.
   

6. When he says no, reply "Oh, ok.. I just wanted to see if mine was bigger."
   

7. Try to touch him.
   

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to go buy a hat.
   

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
   

10. Refer to him by his first name.
    

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
    

12. When he says no, cry.
    

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
    

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
    

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, throw yourself on the hood and scream, "Don't shoot!"
    

16. When he asks you to spread 'em, tell him you don't go that way.
    

17. When he puts the handcuffs of, say "Usually my dates buy me diner first!"
    

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, because you don't like ink on your fingers.
    

19. After you sign the ticket and give it back to him, put your hand to your forehead as if remembering something and say, "Oops! That's the wrong name!"
    

20. Offer him a donuts and if he says yes, tell him, "Darn, I JUST ate the last one!"
    

21. When he comes up to the car say "Liscense and registration, please" right when he does.
    

22. When he reads you your rights, sing "La la la la la la, I can't hear you".
    

23. Trip and fall into him, and accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
    

24. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
    

25. Chew on the pen, while you try to remember how to spell your name.
    

26. Clean your ear with the pen.
    

27. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
    

28. Ask him if he has a daughter. If he says yes, tell him you thought the name sounded familiar.
    

29. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. Is he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
    

30. Act like you are retarded, or act like he is retarded.
    

31. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start mocking him quietly.
    

32. Mumble to yourself.
    

33. When he tells you to stop, ask him, "Stop what, dude?"
    

34. When you walk into a Dunkin Donuts, say really loudly "I want to buy up all the donuts so THEY can't get anymore."
    

35. Ask cops, "So, did they ever teach you how they make the donuts?"
    

36. When he comes up to the car say, "Hey! I have a badge just like yours!"
    

37. Ask if he watches COPS
    

38. Ask if he ever watched COP ROCK.
    

39. Giggle if he says yes.
    

40. Talk into your hand.
    

41. Ask him if he knows someone named Rosy Palm and her five favorite friends.
    

42. Accuse him of sexual harassment if he says yes.
    

43. When he frisks you, say "You missed a spot!" and grin.
    

44. When he asks to inspect your car, say "There is no alchohol in my car, sir, I bribed the last cop with it. The drugs when to the cop before him. Sorry, I didn't save anything to bribe you with."
    

45. Try to sell him your car.
    

46. Ask if you can buy his car.
    

47. If he takes you to the station, ask to sit in front. Say you get car sick in the back seat.
    

48. Play with his siren. If he makes you sit in the back, pretend you are the siren.
    

49. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
    

50. If you don't know him, ask if he wants to swap wives for the night.
    

51. Ask if her ever tried pu-tang er.
    

52. If he asks what it is, giggle.
    

53. If there is someone else in the car, talk to them in "tongues".
    

54. If he appears confused, keep talking, nod your head at him and laugh evilly.
    

55. If he puts you in the back of his car, try to touch his neck through the fencing.
    

56. Turn your head and whistle as though to say, "Wasn't me"
    

57. If he pulls out his nightstick, say "oh baby! Whatcha gonna do with that!? I don't think it'll fit…"
    

58. If you are a female and he pulls out his night stick, say "I don't do that on the first date."
    

59. If he sticks you in the back of his car, pretend to cower in the corner, whimpering and sucking your thumb.
    

60. Stare at his lights and say, "Wow, look at the pretty colors!"
    

61. Tell him you just LOVE a guy/gal in uniform.
    

62. Ask if you can borrow that getup for a costume party.
    

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