Recent Sanjida Events
a.k.a. The Juicy Details
continued . . .
Random Rambling and Grumbling from me.
Ok, ok. it's been an insanely long time. I know I never update this thing. I should. My apologies to my fans who come and read this obsessively. :)
Well, let's see.. way early on this year i thought about marraige, to the point where I actually sortve went and met someone. We were connected at teh soul, I felt. But beyodn that, I didn't know him too well. We also had a critical disagreement that wouldve affected our lifestyles had the relationship gone further. So it didnt happen.
In teh meantime, I'm back in touch with my old friend from high school, J Alexander. its different now. But its nice to still be in touch with someone who knows me just so well. However differeny we may be at the current time.
This summer, I did research on rats. i took teh MCAT. I became an RA. yes "life as an RA" is good. Believe me, I prefer not to identify myself as anythign besides a Muslimah. every other identity is a peripheral thing. The most important thign about me is my faith. i think I've become mroe spiritual, but less religious. Does that make sense? It is a common trend in oru society, and I hope its not something that is just a fad (liek my vegetarianism back in high school). I am more focused on developing sincereity, havinga good worldview, and trust in Allah to get me through teh storms of life, rather than obsessing over teh correctness of certain miniscule issues (i.e. make up and stuff). I know I may not be the most "correct" person on earth.. but i am trying to do the best I can while maintaining room to be myself.
I plan to pierce my nose eventually. I don't knwo when.
I'm still a biochem adnpsychology major.. premed.. I want to go into an MD PhD progtram in the future, inshaAllah. Succeeding with teh talents i have been given by God, i feel, is the best thing I can do for others.. and for me.. to achieve adn to set an example of self-actualization for others to follow.
The latest book I read and loved was "my many colored days" by Dr Seuss.. its one of those cardboard books for toddlers.. btu I'm telling you.. its a LITERARY MASTERPIECE. The latest album I listened to and loved was "look into the eyeball" by david byrne.. which, incidentally, I just burned from my new friend. Adam, jsut today. :) its really upebat and i like the lyrics. Again though, many of you knwo my trend of being obsesed with some album for a coupel iof weeks and then tossing it aside for somethign novel.. so lets see how thsi one goes. :)
My favorite movie is hum Dil De Chuke Sanam.. as usual. :) Nothign beats Aishwarya rai's dancing in that flick. I wish I coudl dance like that.
my biggest pet peeve right now is having agood hair day at 2 am. which is my current state. SIG-h!
i'm still teh night owl caffeine addict that I've always been..
I'm also idealistic, as usual, adn prefer world peace over al the turbulence being caused everywhere. i'm sortv in a weird position as an American Muslimah. And I realized today, that i really don thave any connection, desire, or skill to assimilate into teh modern islamic" world int eh middle east.. the quotes on "Islamic" are ment to identiy the separation between what islam is (the perfection of lifestyle) and what some/most Muslims (imperfect people) DO. thers so much cultural, tribal, adn political separation over there, and i find that very contrary to the teachigns of the Prophet Muhammad (saws).
Also, in conclusion, i am doing jsut fine. i am stressed out (again, as usual).. . I mean, as I mentione dto Ro the oter day, I dumped stress long ago.. i told Stress to get lost.. that I was too good for him.. but he still stalks me.. and I'm working on getting a restraining order.. Any Stress Lawyers out there? take care all. gnight. ma salama
As of December 7, 2001
So today was the last day of Fall Semester 2001. I still have 2 papers, a quiz, and 7 finals to take. however, I felt this would be a good writing point too. Honestly, I've been craving some alone time to jsut gush all my thoughts freelance onto paper, no time limit, no reality limit.. just throw it out quietly to the universe, and be safe in letting go of my background noise (worries, negative thoughts, sadness, fears). I recently lost a friend in a tragic car accident. She was an inspirational girl who touched all the lives she knew (and THEN SOME). MashAllah, may Allah bestow His Mercy on her.
Spiritually, intellectually, even physically, I've accepted her passing. Though I know that I could, I am not going to take thsi opportunity to gush and rave all abouther life. We have all done that and those of us who knew her well know that words are not necessary to understand those simple qualities abotu her that made her so special to us all. In this critical time, many of my friends have lauded my "strength" and "energy".. "how do you do it Sanjida?" I hear...And yes I know I tend to be off teh wall at times... taht I can be the world's greatest actress if it helps me get through a difficult time... that I love to have fun, but more than that, see that my loved ones are happy... and my loved ones grow in quantity day by day...
If only they knew.. after all whatever it is that I do is yet so small.
I remember Sr Aminah (my mentor) said once that since she accepted Islam, her heart expanded to be filled with love for all of Allah ta'alas Craetions...taht at times, she felt so loved and loving, that she feared her heart may burst with positive energy... mashAllah... what a state of Iman..
I realzied yesterday that with 9-11 and Islam awareness becoming a major issue, as well as Tamina's death, and the 23 credit hours, and the campus job, and extracurriculars, and a social life... this has been one CRAZY BUSY semester... I feel at once, that i have lost so much and yet gained even more. in Ecclesiastes it says "To everything there is a season..." and in Asr it says "By Time, verily, man is in loss." that is so true. This was the time for me and those around me to be tried, in our faith, in our actions, in our characters.
Well, to give the abridged update of S life, I'm back into playing violin. i love it with a new passion. I saw Midori perform last night at the Orchestra and it was so absolutely beautiful I was not only awestruck but speechless.
I've learned to defer stress for teh finer thigns in life.. friends, love, sleep, chocolate, smiles and hugs... Such amazing healing mechanisms in all of these.
I have much more I wish to share with, um, my secret admirer? Who else would come here? but alas, I am exhausted and my bed is beckoning with that come hither look that I just cannot resist... gnight friends.
As of December 9, 2001
I didn't expect to be writing again so soon. But I am a little upset.
I sent out a petition to help Muslim women. Here is the response of two brothers... 1) I do understand what you are saying about the women of Afghanistan ... but the thing is what you hear is it the Total Truth?, what is your source and from what point of view are you looking at this issue? with all respect and humbleness, Almighty Allah knows the best, I don't know much about the Taliban Govt. and just like me there are thousands of Muslims and nonmuslims here in USA. So whatever i know is what I hear on the Western TV. and news paper run by Western people, So how real and true are these sources ?? .... So my question is what is your source, and how strong and real is it? Until you are sure of something, don't speak of it. I suggest you do more research on this issue.
2) Assalamun Aleikum Sister Sanjida, > >I received your mail about the petition for Afghan women. I think the >kuffar are playing a game here and they want to see the Muslim women the >way that they want. I read the petition and I found it redicilous. >Unfortunately, I saw that you also signed it. So, as your Muslim brother >I want to warn about kuffars' games and plans, and please don't >encourage the others to sign the petition. May Allah guide all of us.
So of course I wrote back vehemently... what? why do our superficial egos tell us that we gotta keep our mouths shut if someone who claims* to be like us is doing somethign uterly WRONG?
This is what I wrote. 3) Thank you for your comments. I appreciate that you wrote back to me. Not to belittle anythign you have said, because I understand you mean it in best interest, but I have heard this comment before. The interesting point? I hear this always from brothers, never from sisters. out of curiosity, do you believe what the taliban demanded of women was islamic in any way? i am a practicing hijabi and believe in it. i chose it against my mothers wishes. i have studied the concerns of women in afghanistan in depth. i support the petition not because of who is promoting it but simply because I do not beleive that the so-called "Islamic state" the taliban had started is at all Islamic. some statements in the petition description may be worded incorrectly. however, I believe that the main objective, obtaining the women's rights as human beings is clear, and that is what I am keeping in mind. I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I'm a human being first and foremost, and as such I'm for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole. Malcolm X i read 30 books on this "issue" of Muslim women of afghanistan and abroad and wrote a 40 page paper abotu muslim women. i've spoken at countless forums about muslim women. Women in Afghan, who were renown and excellent surgeons/businesswomen/lawyers before the Taliban came along, were made to lose their jobs and be secluded in their homes SIMPLY and ONLY because they were female. The taliban stopped educating their women, why? it was against the law to educate a girl. mashallah some sisters began underground schools to teach their daughters. there are public beatings of women, which i have seen footage of. 12 year old boys are given "guardianship" of 4 or 5 older women. It is not false propaganda. It DOES happen. I hate that muslims all over the world are keeping silent in the face of such injustice, simply because the unjust ones are labeled as Muslims. beign muslim isnt impunity. we WILL be asked one Day. so we should fear that and remember. so why is this? because the "degree above" women that taliban believe men have is apparently as high as teh sky! because women are "weak in religion and intellect" (an absolutely false statement attributed as 'hadith' in some areas of the world). if that is the case, tehn why was Ayesha (ra) the Prophet Muhammad's favorite wife? she was educated, she was modest, she was strong, and argued, she* taught men* religious knowledge and medicine... even treating Abdallah (ra) as close as a son. she never had children of her own, and she expressed her jealousy of the other wives. she was beloved by the Prophet (Saws), so much that he died in her arms. a real strong woman, mashAllah not the stupid barbie doll that the Taliban think women are. and also, why is fighting and killing one another, even other muslims, such a priority for them? what about hadith that guarantee paradise to any parent who raises a daughter and gives her a good education and good marriage? what about teh hadith that the strongest person is not the one who wins at a fistfight but the one who controls their anger? what about teh hadith that said "now we go from the lesser jihad (war) to teh greater jihad (jihad of th nafs)" after a won battle? where is their mercy? I suggest you do more reading and contemplating. Do you honestly believe that our Merciful Lord wishes these conditions for women? Do you believe thsi is how women lived during the tiem of our Prophet (saws)? Peace, Sr Sanjida
I admit, I do measure a man by his respect for women. it's not my feminazi-ness , its just that it is a sign of piety, in a world (middle east, america, whatever) that does not often provide even the minimum respect that women deserve... and, besides piety there is little else to look for. i HAVE met some very respectful men, and I'm glad to know them mashallah. Its not all about how "perfect" and innocent the person is, but how pure and good their soul is. I have found, from observation, that Tawabbin (the repentant) are often more pious, humble, and real, than those who live with prevention all their lives and grow proud of their "accomplishments". The goal is a sound heart. May Allah bestow His Mercy on all the Believers. Ameen.
As of Dec. 29th, 2001
WINTER BREAK is finally here!
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