"Vic Ovum Cranium difficilis est (The way of the Egghead is hard)." Adlai E. StevensonBefore I get into my main topic, I found yet another odd horoscope from the Sacramento News & Review. Whoever writes these things is getting really on the money!
"One element of the Cinderella story especially intrigues me. After the clock struck 12, everything the fairy godmother gave her disappeared or devolved. The fine coach turned back into a pumpkin; her gorgeous dress was replaced by tattered rags; the coachman became a rat again, etc.- except for one thing: her glass slippers. They remained intact. She kept one, and the prince retrieved the other. And they of course were the most valuable items of all since they were the heroine's key to her new destiny. I'd like to draw a parallel between this theme and your current situation, Taurus. Right now, you may be in a funk equivalent to Cinderella's post-midnight deflation. But I believe you still have your own personal equivalent of the glass slipper.Now if I only knew what that was . . .
I've gotten five mosquito bites since yesterday! Wow, there's the first sign of spring right there!
So, continuing on my quest for a complicated major- Went in to Buffy today and told her of my panic attack. She admitted it was a tight squeeze, but said that if you were close to the # of classes needed for the double degree the school might be nice and not kick me out. However, she also suggested a. minoring in English, major in design, or b. major in English, but take unrestricted textile classes instead. I'll have to look those over later today. She also told me to make an appointment with (I suppose this would be my advisor now) a JoAnn to ask her about this stuff- it's at 5:30 today. So we'll see.
7:16 p.m. Here's what I did for the afternoon:
2:40 p.m. Catch the bus to school for psych class, where I run into Erin, a chick I took drama with first quarter. She told me that they are having auditions for the Undergrad Playwright Festival- no grad students allowed!
3:10 p.m. In psych class, there was a chick in trying to get girls into a study (if you're in psych 1 and do a study you get extra credit- not too much though). Apparently this is about ovaries and saliva (don't ask- somehow you can tell how your hormones are doing through saliva- I could have lived my whole life long without knowing that). The chicks in the study have to somehow take samples (they didn't say how- but it's not up the crotch, thank God) every day, turn them in twice weekly and write in a journal every day, for a month. And no, we don't get any $$$$. Waaah!
I don't know if I'll do this or not- with all the technical crap being thrown at us in that class, I may need it- but on the other hand, it could be kinda time-consuming and gross. They're having an info meeting tomorrow about it, maybe I'll go and see.
4:30 p.m. 
I sign up for auditions for the plays at six, 6:20, and seven on Monday. Also checked out the plays and read them. Interesting- weird yet sensical (works for me), and actually have parts for younger chicks. I'll probably just bomb out like I do in every other audition I've ever done, but what the hell. I've got to come up with some 2-minute monologue by then also- hope I have the time when I get home, with the wedding, other homework, and Grandma smothering me.
5:30 p.m. I go in for my meeting with JoAnn- she suggested (and I totally agree with! She said her son did this too) doing an individual major (petitioning the school to let me set up my own requirements- awesome!). Can't do that until junior year or so, so I'll be switching to design after all until I get it straightened out. I'm feeling better- and I can't wait to drop all the unnecessary stuff from the major! Woo hoo!
6:15 p.m. Something else I'm wondering: Why doesn't this town seem to have any bug spray? I'm getting more bites! Eek!
8:30 p.m. 
Here's a prayer I'd like to offer up to God: "Please dear Lord, save me from becoming deranged enough to wind up wearing a wedding dress around the house and pretending that I'm getting married when I hit 28 and the marriage clock starts ticking. Please, dear Lord, please, because I'm already mental enough as it is."
That one was from Friends tonight- I saw that and got terrible flashes of myself doing the same thing at twenty-eight. . . nine . . . thirty-two . . . thirty-six . . . For someone who doesn't even want to get married this is quite freaky. Poor Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe. (And to a lesser degree, poor Emily- Monica's worn her dress more than she has). But the most for poor Rachel, who just drove Joshua away. And she's sounding way too much like me lately.
"I guess I just figured that somewhere down the line we'd be on again- again."Like I really needed to hear this? And then watching Ross repeatedly hug Rachel in those consolation hugs, reminding me waaaaay too much of The Moron (who is a reaaaaaaly good hugger- sigh)? If I ever have this situation happen to me (this would be assuming that I ever speak to The Moron again, yeah right) and he tried to hug me like that I would back away and say, "Don't do that!" He would not get to touch me. Nuh-uh."Sometimes things don't work out the way you thought they would."
I really, really hate him for leaving me to feel like this. I swear to God, I feel as if I don't have a heart anymore. There's just empty space and ashes remaining, and I don't know when the fire went out. Mom checked the e-mail last night, still no response- I hate him. I really, really hate him. I truly did not think that he could be such an asshole. I bet he fell for somebody else- despite all that I have no time shit, he did it and now won't talk to me because he wants me to go away. I hate that son of a bitch! (And if he fell for another guy I swear I'll have to shoot him) Why can't he be a man and just tell me, "I never want to see or hear from you again because I'm an asshole?" I really want to wish some awful fates on him, I do. Right now I'm having this fantasy of him going to jail (who cares why) . . . you know what they do to guys like you in jail . . . hehehehehehehehe . . . He better not have checked his e-mail, because I want this over with, not that he checked it, chose not to blow me off, and by end of May (when he's out of school) I haven't heard anything I will know it is because he is evil. I cannot believe that after pouring my heart out to the guy about certain things he can just be such a prick.
Links to other sites on the Web
Icon Bazaar (e-mail)
Graphic Station (?, bus, show)
Page last updated: April 16, 1998.
Anyone with advice in double or individual majoring, please use the address below.
To the previous entry
To the next entry
© 1997 jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu
Get your own Free Home Page