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Why do I bother?
Armando Valle
Sometimes
I ask myself: Why do I bother? To write. To compose poetry. To think up stories for novels
and films. Why bother to put up this web site? S**t, I could be lying comatose in front of
my blaring TV, or dulling myself on a steady diet of weed and alcohol, or just figuring
out more creative ways to extin- guish my brain cells and their original thoughts. Face
it, art, writing and music are not the top choices for the common web surfer. Guess which
one is? Like most people I like sex, but cyberspace is riddled with thousands of sex
sites, most of them not taboo-indulging but simply inept sites. In the real world, the
arts are becoming increasingly marginalized to the point that I fear most people out there
are like sheep just walking in line to the slaughterhouse of modern media and public
opinion. Don't you think the net needs more soul?
I bother because I've no other choice--I've been exposed to so
much that by now I couldn't go back. Once exposed and enlightened by, for example, the
poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke, or the films of Federico Fellini, I can't be satisfied by
the latest cellu-void Hollywood offering. I couldn't be satisfied by cheap poetry because
poets are not hack, so there. You gotta give it to the poetry field to weed out the
wannabes from the start. The mainstream has all but voided poetry as an artform. I know, I
know: There are plenty of championing writers, poets, artists, musicians and filmmakers in
universities around the world. But know what? I've seen the elitism that most arts have
adopted and the tendency for artists and their supporters to become self-absorbed,
exclusive bores. For me, Art is to influence and make an impact on those that otherwise
would fade away in the crowd. This was my story. Where would I be without having seen the
films of Martin Scorscese or Steven Spielberg? Without having read the poetry of
Baudelaire or Bukowski? Without having been in the presence of a Vincent Van Gogh or
Claude Monet painting? Probably would be just another wanker trudging thru life barely
aware of dreams, vision or wisdom.
I'm not saying that there aren't other ways to elucidate the
masses--spirituality does not only come in the package of Art. Being artful opens
dimensions of life, opens one to the sensual world, the pleasure of language,
communications, the knowledge of imagery and symbols, the independence of the soul and
spirit as it becomes, and takes one on a journey --like being awake throught the entire
trip meanwhile everyone else sleeps through it: they miss the sights. I don't want to miss
the sights. On the other hand: What can I get from a life of media saturation, uninspired
TV sitcoms, top-40 radio stations and the occasional 'Nsync video? The desire to vomit
uncontrollaby for hours maybe. What is this junk clogging our airwaves and taking space in
our libraries? It's just sucking the parts of the brain that asks questions, conjure
fantasies and is promoting shallow thinking, mindless consumerism and mainstream
conformity. This gunk just puts out the spark of our soul-fire. If not exposed to other
modes of expression, most kids out there will end like glorified Cabbage Patch dolls, like
some people I've encountered, giving you the "Weird Look" the moment you express
a taste for something they weren't forced-fed to enjoy by the media or their parental
suffocators.
Another reason why I will bother to continue with this site is
that the Internet has gotten a bad reputation and is constantly vilified by people as the
stalking grounds of child molesters and just plain perverts. They seem to forget the
potential great uses of the Internet, like creating a place for a community of progressive
artists to exhibit their work, share ideas and stick it to major corporations which
restrict and control the material which the mainstream sheep consider Art. The wonder of
this web-zine is that it will develop into a surprising, mysterious place in the net where
unprecendented things will happen. We need a place of refuge from the onslaught of
turnstile pop music, standardized hollywood films and connect-the-dots bestselling
fiction. We need a place where people could discover their next favorite band, the next
poet that will stir their souls, yet another movie they will never forget, or just another
great book to add to their collection. We need a place where we question, prod the world,
and culture around us: This is the Inquisition. Here, we'll ask the questions about what
makes people tick, hate, ignore, rage, cherish, befriend and love. The net needs this
site. It needs the Inquisition.
Those are the reasons why I bother. I hope that you reading this
essay will come back here again and again to be part of this enterprise. Better yet I hope
you contribute to it by submitting your art, poetry, fiction, music and films. Because if
you don't give a damn, you're a sheep and already dead.
Armando
Valle (Apr/22/99)
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