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God Jul!!!! (Or as Jesus would say it: "Happy Birthday to meee... ")
Yeah yeah, that's Swedish for "Merry Christmas" and argh, it's today! No,
I'm not crazy :P In Sweden, we celebrate everything on the 24'th, gifts,
dinner, family fights... December 24'th. Therefore, I made sure to buy a
phone card and phoned home (very E.T.) around 1 am Arizona time. *sigh*
It was so... nice to wake my mother up with a "God Jul!" Yes, I of coursed
harrassed her to make sure she gives my cats a special christmas dinner,
and she assured me that she even bought them gifts from me. Yey :)
After promising to call her at midnight her time after the celebrating, I
noticed Jessica squeaking "God Jul! God Jul!" in the background, so I let
her wish it over the phone, to my mom's amusement. :)
As soon as I hung up, I called my dad. Mom told me he'd been calling her
on all sorts of uneven hours to ask her if I'd called. I don't know. I
get the feeling that my dad is taking me being in America as an excuse to
get to my mother (they've been divorced for about 15+ years. Very
divorced.) and it's just.. creepy. Considering their marriage was hardly
the best of marriages, it concerns me a bit to hear my mom tell me that
he's getting pushier as time goes by. I mean, really - what excuse is there for calling your ex-wife at 1 am to ask if the grown-up daughter called home lately, and then call the day after and bitch to her because she wasn't at home the night before to pick up the phone? I don't know.
I called home around midnight her time too, and was glad to hear she had had a nice christmas dinner with gifts at my aunt's place (though she told me her ex-boyfriend sent her some long stemmed roses and some cheesy card about how some love never ends. YICK. I promptly encouraged her to throw it away. No, I'm not a grump - he treated her very badly last summer to a point where some mutual friends had to drive her home - I'm not going to just sit around while they circle her with their jaws.). Best news - my grandmother was there for the day/evening :) She's not doing that well, can very barely walk nor go to the bathroom, but she's hanging in there...
He was quite grumpy when he answered, so I quickly draped everything I
said with a saccharine tone and chirpy "God Jul!" exclamations. The trick
to make people like dad who I sadly enough never really have anything to say to think that you are really talking to them is to overflow them
with talk and keep it at a level where they are forced to respond with
short, brief answers and eventually give up anything salty licquerish to
come out. Simple. By the time Jessica chirped a "God Jul!" at him, he was
even laughing a bit. I used to feel bad about wrapping 2 statements to drag out 1 minute convo's into 5, but I don't know. It leaves some pretend feeling at least that things are alright and that we are... family.
We went to the mall yesterday (taking the scenic route to Tuscon,
leading me to feel as if I was in some strange, dry Australian roadmovie.
I was slightly befuzzled when I noticed my ears getting weird on me - I
never realized that the mountains etc would cause pressure differences. I
almost started to long for airplane food.) which was okay (got Jessica to
try a Long Island Ice Tea. Hehehhehe.) though I was mighty upset to see
that they charged $10 to get a picture with Santa. ASSHOLES. I know it's corny but I really believe in Santa, or at least the spirit of
Santa, so this was just... upsetting. Blah. Well pfft. If Santa won't see
me without some money, I won't make any of my special cookies and leave
out for him. Fair deal. :P~
I don't know. I guess I like magic. Whatever.
Yes. I do feel weird being here and not back home during christmas.
But then again, how could I not? It would be stranger if I didn't miss it, and I'm really fine with it. Talking to my mom only made my belly feel wobblier, and right
about now it wouldn't feel so terribly wrong to get to snuggle up to the
tv set with some hot chocolate and a blankie, but 1) Jessica's sleeping on
the couch and 2) I'm.. writing.
Yes, I will miss seeing everyone. Yes, I will miss hearing/singing Swedish
christmas songs. Yes, I will miss my mother's christmas omelett (my veggy
dinner), the cheese, the special kind of bread, the red beet salad, the
lame attempts not to get excited when you KNOW dinner and coffe and cake
has all been devoured and has lead up to... christmas gift time!! I guess
the only thing I won't miss is the annual christmas fight with my brother, leading to bitter tears, scratched skin and futile, childish "Well that's
IT, I'm retracting my gift to you!!" (though I always regret that part,
because he always buys me nice, expensive things or give me gift
certificates. hey, he has a job :P)
*bringing out the old Visa card*
Ghod, ever since I figured out that I can't actually [gasp] CHARGE things
on this card and not only withdraw money from an account.... frightening.
Still, I don't feel very guilty - I have money coming in for next
semester, and I only charge things my mother would agree okay anyways,
like under wear and food. Well, and I bought christmas gifts for Jessica's family too (in a 10 minute dash to Wal-Mart) and even though I spent a bit more than I could actually afford, I guess it'll work out somehow. 'Tis the season to be jolly.
On a different note, I'm disgusted at the moment. I just caught one of those rather funny segments they show on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show"
(One of my favourite shows on tv - I will miss Craig Kilborn DEARLY.) and
it made me sick to my stomach - I usualy laugh at these stories they show
poking fun of the subjects without them actually realizing they're being
poked fun at, but this... I don't know.
This woman is inbreeding cats on purpose, bringing up cats with deformed
paws and very bad genes being mixed and brought out with each generations.
Sickening. *sickening* What I don't understand is - how come no one is
bringing her to court to keep her from ever handling animals again? You
can't leave a dog in a car outside with closed windows, but you can breed
cats with paws that twist so that they can't function normaly? They talked
of a web page she had up, and she had the marbles to dare COMPLAIN about
the "crackheads" e-mailing her, saying she was sick and hurting the
animals. I tried finding it, but after a while I realized she probably got
so harrassed after the piece she closed it down and.. besides. I don't
want to e-mail her directly. It wouldn't do any good. I guess all I can
hope for is that some animals rights organization got involved. ARGH.
Frustrated.
I don't know. I have always been one of those pro-animals rights people
(proud vegetarian of 5+ years), but I rarely preach, and I don't walk
around yelling things and throwing paint at people in fur coats.
Therefore, I guess it might surprise some when I see something like this
and just get so PISSED. I feel very strongly about a lot of issues, I
guess people don't expect me to get really upset about something like this
after squeaking all day about David Spade and being upset about Adam
Sandler being dumped by his fiance (He had the AUDACITY to have a
girlfriend since 1989 and I didn't know about it! *laugh* I guess I should
be cheesily rejoicing that he is now supposedly single but blah, I just
got pissy, heheheh. No, I do not stalk celebrities, I only lust after them
and get possessive.) *sigh* Frustrated. Humans. So much for feeling
christmassy.. :(
Other Thoughts (while I'm writing as if to make up for all those entries not posted in the past [the year IS ending you know..])
I dunno. I was looking through some old e-mails, and came across one from someone who used to be my friend. I guess christmas is also a season where we suddenly find ourselves thinking back on things and all of a sudden thoughts dawn on us in the shape of "Well I guess I won't get a christmas card from HER anymore.."
I always liked her a lot.. until I started to notice the eyerolls she'd make when something I said was eye-rollable and she stopped caring enough to at least turn around before doing them... or how all of a sudden she didn't even try and stop herself from making some mocking comment behind my back, but before I had walked away far enough for it not to be audiable... Or I'd suddenly hear the bitchy remarks she made to other people about me because I had done whatever I always do, but this time at some moment she decided was inappropriate and unsensitive. Whatever. I don't feel like concentrating on the bad stuff, I guess. She made me smile too, and there was a certain pleasure in getting to roll my eyes along with her. I never even pondered telling her I could hear, see or read her mock me. It just ended, like things does, and turned into another unsent christmas card.
Reminiscing, reminiscing. WHERE IS THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT? In eggnog? Nooo! Christmas Christmas... hmm.. concentrate... christmas... It makes me think of friends back home and friends through electricity. It makes me think of snow and reindeer and cats and red and green and white and songs. Good. Time to go.
Merry Christmas Maria - I saw a Black Sabbath cd on sale and thought of you. Merry Christmas Ninnie - I saw a globe and wondered where the hell you might be right now. Merry Christmas Monica and Anna - I know where you are :) Merry Christmas Dennis - no, I don't think of you whenever I see Brad Pitt :P Merry Christmas You perhaps reading - I think of you every now and then when I write. Merry Christmas Lost Loves - Don't think about you so much anymore. Merry Christmas Jessica - even though saying that makes me feel bad because I haven't had a chance to get you a gift yet. Merry Christmas Family - I do miss you guys. Merry Christmas Martin - I had a crush on you for years growing up; thanks for always being nice to me. Merry Christmas Santa - remember not to give gifts to those cheap bastards cashing in on you in malls. Merry Christmas Sammy, Missan and Kafka - may you always be bitchy, neurotic, fat, horny cats. Merry Christmas Jeff Goldblum - oh yeah, no christmas for you - well, have some eggnog at least. Merry Christmas Grandmother Vera - I love you all the way from here. Merry Christmas Rec.Music.Tori-Amos - You guys make me gooey sometimes. Merry Christmas Dr Pepper - no Mr Pibbs for me. Merry Christmas Aase - even though you were always a mean bitch to me; I do wish you well. Merry Christmas Cirrus Nebula people - I still log on, don't I? Merry Christmas To Everyone I Ever Punched or Kissed - like that guy said when he thanked for his Academy Award years ago. Merry Christmas Jerry Springer - though perhaps your guests need it more. Merry Christmas Aziza, Gene and Jesse - for not kicking me too hard when I don't need it, and for kicking me real hard when I need it. Things aren't always how they seem, okay? Merry Christmas Morrissey - have some eggnog with rum (I am too his fatty!). Merry Christmas Adam Sandler - despite it all. Merry Christmas Helena - maybe change isn't so bad. Merry Christmas Michaela - I'm sorry for being so distant and not-cool. Merry Christmas Dennis again - You know, You DO have a Brad Pitt thing going on. I guess I just miss the Dennis-who-taught-me-how-to-create-a-really-gross-spitball-Dennis. Merry Christmas Danny Kaye - this is beginning to sound like an Alanis song and/or liner notes in a CD booklet but I don't care - you were the first man I wanted to marry when I was 5. Merry Christmas Jesus - I'm sure you were a nice guy. Merry Christmas Dawson's Creek - Pacey, we love you. And most of all - Merry Christmas to me. Yey.
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