Sheesh...I think I may be losing my title as Evil SessionSetter...LOOK at them MEANIES!*grin*
08:07:38 - 09/10/97 - Kafka- aLanis says 'everyone knows i secretly want to be Goth Spice'
08:47:13 - 09/10/97 - Bren- aLanis can't get any at all
(Her comment to the session was:Bren * aLanis says 'mexican food. or sex. that is.')
HOW EVIL! I mean..I said it..but...but...oh hell, I meant it. *snicker*
Hehe. My head's been really occupied all day thinking about what I want to write in this diary. it's..a lot...I mean, you guys know this isn't a diary in the sense that i don't just yadda yadda about what happened that day...in fact, I'd say it's very rare that I DO rant about what I've been doing...this is a place I put my thoughts and memories. *shrug* it works for me..and I'm not twisting anybody's arm to read it.
Actualy, that's sort of funny...I mean, this page..I always wanted it to be a page that people wanted to come back to coz they had so much to go through..and it seems I've gotten to that point. People tell me "Hey I saw that new thing on your page.." or people I don't know will e-mail me every now and then and say things like "Haha I just read this or that on your page and HAHA that's so funny"..*smile* Thanks for those random shouts of support babes..it's very appreciated.=)
I made a 90 min tape of the saddest Tori songs I have. heheheh. I've been playing it all day long, and I'm so emotionally distressed I'm ready to throw myself in someones' lap and bawl. I've been on an emotional roller coaster for..oooh...too long now. I dunno. So much crap floating about in my brain. There's this one part of Tori's "Hey Jupiter (The Dakota version" that seem to just leap out to me and say "Hey babe...sound familiar?" (It's sort of about the emptiness when we break up from people or something, but I don't have that aspect to it any more, so...don't think I'm still hung up on an ex or something, nothing like that's bothering me anymore. Did that make sense?)
There. Quite a post, eh?=)
Discussing flirting online:
Cosmo exclaims 'YOu must throw yourself at him!'
*grin* We're great at parties..really...(Just be happy you didn't get to see the suggestions _I_ added to the convo)
And...this is a little something for you sick people out there..I dunno, I got very inspired coz lately everybody around me, both online and offline seems to be sick of this and that so..here ya'll go...get better and all that.
You know what I'm really fascinated by? Hmm..lemme think of a term..argh..I dunno really. All those people that make up the "normal" world. (*smile* You should skip the rest of the entry.it'll be ranting and incoherent)
Okay. First of all, I'd like to point out that I'm not a big fan of generalizations. We're all different soups. It just seems to me that a lot of the time the kitchen's offering two regular soups, and then in fine print you can find specialy made minestrones and goulaschs' with a different set of spices, and they may not be better than the regular soups but they sure are worth a try coz SOmetimes you just might find that special soup you can't get enough off. (Ooh..there I go again talking food...) Anyways. I guess everyone would like to think of themself as a fine print soup. Maybe we're all the regular soup, just with some extra salt and pepper? Anyways.
I think a lot of people are those clear buillon soups where you can see the pepper pieces floating around with noodlepieces and carrot chops. This, in itself, is a rather good soup, it doesn't want to do that much, and you can eat it most anytime with some white bread, and so the people feel comfortable in being that. Then I think there are people that basicaly are the same, but they hide it by dressing up in more spices and colours. Now they taste a lot like the regular soup, and it's just as filling, but a lot of people are scared of ordering it because it looks like it'd give you a heart burn in the long run.
What I'm trying to say is...*laugh* Oh God I don't think I had a point anywhere in there. Lemme think about it. Okay. I just wanted to say that even though one may look like it'd be a soup that's a bit too rich and maybe you'd get serious heartburn after eating it, it may be worth ordering...don't give up on people after just a first sip.
(Not eating for 2 days apart from some spaghetti and having a fever is obviously not helping this train of thought.hehe.)
Tonight's that show again with that crayze guy I like.AHJAHuahauh..he's totaly insane. I like that. *smile*
Slap them boys when their naughty
It's always a bit weird when people turn out to be just...tomatoes in disguise.
On another note...I'm roaming the psychology section of the library again. Argh. I'm telling ya, if you ever wanted to find good books, try the psychology section. You might even learn a thing or two in the process.
I don't feel like writing today. Sorry. *shrug* It's a bit rainy outside, which I like, so I'll go home and carry my vcr back down from my brothers room and watch the live Tori things I have taped. I dunno. I like the fact that her lyrics are so very obscure, and that she sings so breathy and slurry that you don't always know exactly what she's singing, so you make up your own words that make sense...or that sometimes she'll sing something that just...grabs your nerves and tug them a bit and you don't even know why.
Cosmo says' That won't be akward'
TenT says' Dont' talk, just shag..'
Kafka exclaims' show your tits!'
Make 'em crawl make you haughty
Make you strong little girl
You paint them toes the redish color
And you know one day you gonna be bigger than a flea
You gonna be bigger than that old poison ivy tree
Frog on My Toe, Tori Amos
don't bother coming down
I made a friend of the western sky
don't bother coming down
you always liked you babies tight
Honey.
Jessica CN mailed me:
Mail dated 02:13:35 AM - Sat, 11 October.
Subject: if you don't show up
To: alanis
From: Kafka
then i will die... =:(
then my soul will float over to Sweden
and look for you and grab you firmly by the shoulders
and ask you "Why DIDN'T you LOG ON? BOOK a computer NEXT TIME!'
Then fly back to my body. And get back in.
And see you on Monday
the end
luv...Jessica
Wasn't that cute?;)
I'm wearing a loooong flowy red skirt that looks rather bad on me- BUT..I don't CARE..I've had this skirt for 3 years or something, and worn it in public maybe 3 times..it's time for another skirt appearance ;) I also bought new shoes..coz it's been raining lately and well..I don't like soggy socks..so I was going to buy a couple of really lacey boots..like a good pair o'Doc's..but...it was sunday, so only a supermarket type of place was open..so I got a pair of low black mens shoes. Well..actauly the labelling was "Female/Male" shoes, but they look like something a guy would wear...and the receipt said "1 pair mens' shoes"..I dunno. I WILL GET BOOTS sometime though..with lots of holes to lace and aaargh...maybe I can get lacey goth boots like Jessicas'?;)
I've been drinking water like mad lately, coz I was starting to get dehydrated and...I've made two observations. 1) Bottled Evian water tastes exactly like our home tap water. On the other hand we have great tap water =)..and...2) Drinking a lot of water makes you hafta go pee every 5 minutes 8(
Me and a girl called Marie was talking food for half an hour today..well I did most of the talking (duh)..I was telling her all the yummie things I like to make...argh..then I got hungry...but that's okay..it was fun. I make yummie food, but I dunno any 'real' food...that is..I don't really make food after instructions, I grab whatever's at home and mix it all up and fry this and cook that and all of a sudden ooh..yum yum fooood. *laugh* You're just lucky I'm not going into details here..I can be very...I dunno..when I talk about things I drag people into it, I talk about a lot of things with a real passion and people go "hehehe"....well I'd rather be passionate about bluecheese than not really be passionate about anything. *shrug*
I'm constantly amazed at how the common mentality around here is to be as grown up as possible in as little time as possible. What's up with that? If you're a "normal" ("MOM! She said the N word!!") female around these parts, you start act - dress and talk like a supposed 25'year old when you're 12-14. It's scary...I've never quite got the hang of that though, and it used to bother me when I was younger, being around these girls in their fashionable haircuts and their expensive clothes and 13 hand lotions, but now...I dunno. I've finaly decided that I don't even LIKE people like that, so why would I try and become one of them? I'm just...me.
I'm that person that never wears jeans, rarely buys new clothes, drums on things, sing even though I don't have a really pleasent voice, can hold a note, or am alone...I proclaim I'm marrying someone someTHING at least 3 times/day (Today I'm marrying bluecheese/Microwave vegetarian pizza, all members of Depeche Mode and - Mercutio of Romeo and Juliet, coz it's such an intruiging character). I get nostalgic every five minutes and try to convince people that the 80'ties were great. I can break out in spontaneous chicken dances. I find it liberating to scream and wildly jump around headbanging to Hole. I dare to keep my view that tomatoes are evil. I LIKE movies with explosions and lots of blood. I also cry whenever I watch "Fried Green Tomatoes". I stop frogs from trying to cross a heavy traffic road. I have green eyes with yellow spots. I'm kind'a cool.
The Hole song I like (as opposed to the ones I don't):
When I went to school
When I went to school
When I went to school in Olympia
Everyone's the same
What do you do with a revolution?
When I went to school in Olympia
And everyone's the same
We look the same
We talk the same
Well don't you please make me real- fuck you
Make me sick- fuck you
Make me real- fuck you
When I went to school in Olympia
Everyone's the same
And so are you, in Olympia
Everyone's the same
We look the same
We talk the same
We even fuck the same
When I went to school in Olympia
Don't you please make me real, come on
Make me sick- come on
Make me real- yeah yeah
Do it for the kids
Do it for the kids
Do it
Do it for the kids
I just can't believe Morrissey made such a bad song as "Sorrow will come in the end" really is. IT IS SO BAD!!!!!!! It just frustrates me..to think Nemesis has better revenge lyrics than that...blah..so frustrating =( Me and Jessica are still arguing over who really is Morrissey's fatty..well I'm bigger than her so IT'S ME, doh...(what's happening at CN, right this minute:)
news 4
I AM MOZ'S FATTY!
reply
news 3
On 02:02:30 AM - Tue, 14 October, aLanis wrote ...
you think you've won
reply
news 2
On 02:02:59 AM - Tue, 14 October, Kafka wrote ...
} you think you've won
Liar!*whip*
reply
news 1
On 02:03:25 AM - Tue, 14 October, aLanis wrote ...
}}you think you've won
} Liar!*whip*
You pleaded and squealed
------------------------------------------------
Okay. You may have noticed I speak a lot in food metaphores. Well..it's just something I do because food is, you know, important. Food is life..sometimes it smells real bad and you're not sure if it's going to leap out of it's refrigerator and kill you..and sometimes it has a lot of sassy garlic and spicy stuff innit but it gives you gas...sometimes it's all fresh and juicy and squeezable and SOMEtimes it's candy on a stick. *smile* I'll always talk food so...haha. AND. I've noticed Sandra Bullock (yumyum=) and Tori Amos talk a lot of food too so...nyah nyah..I'm not an oddball :P~
---------------------------------------------------------Part 2---------------------------------------------
Subject: for the last time kafka
Posted by aLanis on 02:02:30 AM - Tue, 14 October.
Article has been read five times.
deal with IT!!!
Subject: Re: for the last time kafka
Posted by Kafka on 02:02:59 AM - Tue, 14 October.
Article has been read five times.
} I AM MOZ'S FATTY!
} deal with IT!!!
oh no
Subject: Re: for the last time kafka
Posted by aLanis on 02:03:25 AM - Tue, 14 October.
Article has been read four times.
}On 02:02:30 AM - Tue, 14 October, aLanis wrote ...
}} I AM MOZ'S FATTY!
}} deal with IT!!!
} oh no
Subject: Re: for the last time kafka
Posted by Kafka on 02:03:58 AM - Tue, 14 October.
Article has been read seven times.
}On 02:02:59 AM - Tue, 14 October, Kafka wrote ...
}}On 02:02:30 AM - Tue, 14 October, aLanis wrote ...
}}} I AM MOZ'S FATTY!
}}} deal with IT!!!
}} oh no
and you think you've won
but Sorrow will come
to you in the end
My hands are so cold =( I mean..I did a list of what I'm wearing: mens shoes, cat socks that goes almost up to the knee, skirt, black shorts underneath, panties, knitted sweater/jacket type o thing, bra and scarf. Gee I can see you gettin' weird mental pictures now. hehehhe.) Well it's really freezing in here, and I want to put my gloves on but then...goodbye typing...
Jessica was talking in her diary a bit about sometimes wishing there was someone around. Bah. I know what she means. I don't know...it's like this. I used to have Ninnie around to talk to, and she wouldn't raise an eyebrow and shake her head at me, she'd be doing things with me...we could pretend someone had kidnapped the moon and make up this huge story about it, or I could tell her a fairy tale for hours and she'd listen but now..I mean, it's sort of pathetic to have lived in the same place for 20 years and have less than 5 irl friends, none of them being people I see more than once/month or so..isn't it? *shrug* I just realised that the last 5 times I've been on the phone and not been talking to my dad or something like that, but friends, it's been with people in the US (net.people). I haven't even touched a phone for..hmm....let me think...a week...2 weeks maybe. *shrug*
Blah..I think parts of why I've been depressed lately is because Ninnie left, and she didn't even say goodbye =( I mean..I know she probably thought I'd gone to the US already...but..she just left..I found out just by coinsidence. I have this awful feeling in my belly that I won't see her for a very long time either. I mean..I'll go to the US for god knows how long (supposedly to study, I think to try and get a life) and she'll be...wherever..argh. Ah well. Maybe she outgrew me or something.*shrug*
And there you have me. Ditzy large female talking food, with no friends and a phone phobia. But I'm nice ;)