Yeah. I will explain what it is, in case you don't know it...It's a saint us swedes decided to adopt from Italy...the story goes, that there was a christian girl, Lucia in Italy. She had the most beautiful eyes ever seen. Well, as it was, a roman soldier fell in love with her, but she didn't love him back, not to mention the christians were persecuted by the romans back then. He tried to win her heart numerous times, and kept admiring her wonderful eyes. Well, in a desperate move she cut out her eyes and had them sent to him on a plate in a "there...now you have them, LEAVE ME ALONE" manner. Well, God saw this, and decided she had suffered enough, so the next morning, when she woke up...he had given her a brand new pair of eyes, even more beautiful than the first pair.

When the roman soldier saw this, he kept professing his love for her, and she kept turning him down, so in a streak of anger he pointed her out as a witch, and held the new eyes as proof. The romans captured her, and was going to burn her to death. Well, they tried to light the wood up, but there would be no fire...no matter how they tried, they couldn't get it to burn, because her faith in God was protecting her. After all sorts of different attempts on killing her, finaly the roman soldier took his sword and stabbed her in the side, and she died.

In some sort of honour of this, we celebrate Lucias day every december 13. What happens is, we elect a Lucia (there are zillions, it's like a pageant, we have Sweden's Lucia, then each city has their lucia...the companies and schools' elect their own Lucia's...all girls can be Lucia =). Early early in the morning, while it's still dark, Lucia and her maidens walk in a kind of procession, and sing to people while serving them xmas cookies and such. Lucia's purpose is to bring us up north some light (Lucia- Lux-light) She wears a crown with lit candles, a white dress, and a wide red scarf tied around the waist to symbolize the blood.

I've been a Lucia...hmmm...once, in Kindergarten, and that was only because we weren't allowed to elect a Lucia, instead they put all our names in a box, and picked out a name at random. It was my name. Oh joy...unfortunately every girl who wanted to be Lucia could dress up as it, so my only priviledge was that I got to walk first in the procession. Of course, this is just so that no kids should get jellys...as we get older, there can only be on e Lucia, and us others can be her maidens. This actually created a huff, because the year after, in first grade...my name got picked again. Unfortunately all the damn other girls got mad and demanded a redraw, because it was unfair that I got to be Lucia two years in a row. grr. Then this other girl got picked, y'know, who just happened to be one of the more popular girls. hahaha, I was sooooo pissed, but I didn't dare to say anything, so I was doing a whole "No....it's alright....why would I want to be Lucia AGAIN...yeah...you'll do just fine" so that I wouldn't be looked upon as a selfish ass, which would be a Bad Thing(tm), considering I wasn't too well looked upon already, being a fat girl with straight hair and glasses.

So how do we look? Well...we wear a glitter ribbon tied as a crown on our heads, with the ribbons flapping down our backs, white nightgowns, glitter ribbon tied around our waist, and we hold a burning candle in our hands, usualy with a paper thing so that we won't get hot wax or whatever it is dripping down on our hands...those paper manchett thingies come in handy when you're doing the Lucia thing in public, because there are a lot of songs to sing, so usualy we write down the order of the songs on them. if you're the Lucia, you're not supposed to sing though, I don't know why that is...she only have to memorize some poem, which she usualy write down on the palms of her hands, because she doesn't have to hold a candle. It's enough she's wearing the crown...Hehe, all Lucia's usualy have really long hair, and look real pretty, y'know, it's what the most popular girl gets elected to, so the only thing I can take pleasure in, is when the hot wax melts and falls down in her hair and stiffens. That is mean, I knoooow..but the work it takes to get cold wax out of yer hair..hehehehehehehhee 8)

Now we have our apartement, and I just got the form to send back to the consulate to get a visa...yey...now all I need is the I-20 i'm getting in the mail next week to send along. And I heard from Jessica and ben. yey...they're alive 8)

I feel really weird for neglecting this thing so much the past days...well, all I have to say is...Ana, I guess. I've been spending the days at #analove and cn, while working with various things on this page thinking I'd devote the last hour to this when...I just...didn't. Instead it's more like I've spent the last 5 minutes to write the entries. I don't like me when I do that at all =( I'll try to make better today...I mean, it's hardly like I don't have anything to write about, right?

Guess what. -Right- after I wrote that, i got sucked back in, and now I only have 10 minutes left 8( ARGH!!!!!

It's freezing cold outside, my I-20 still hasn't arrived, and I haven't eaten today (I've been up 10 hours). Do I sound whiney? I think I am...but that's okay...I've done lots today. I scanned zehne's picture, I snazzifyed some PJ Harvey images...I tried to work out the new Tory gallery...hmm...watched Ana sleep for 8 hours..

Okay...listen to this. Tomorrow when I have all day to be online I'll start a story section, and share some stories I never got over as a kid or something whiny like that..okay? Okay.

Hehm not okay :) I mean, duh...who needs a story section, when I got this? THIS is where everything should go..and so..it will :) I'm going to try and not sit and stare at the irc screen/anacam/cnscreen too much...I wanna WRITE! WeeE 8)

I fell asleep on the couch upstairs last night...ick. It wasn't that it was very comfortable or anything, I was actually rather cold...but it would've been colder to go down to my house where no one's been all night to warm the place up. Awful. That's the thing with me. I don't like hot. I don't like very warm either...I like it when it's okay to walk around in shorts and t-shirts, but you can tell when there's a warm breeze blowing on you. I dislike it when it's cold, but I like when there's snow, or when it's raining. Oh hell. I don't care about the weather really, I'm so seldomly outdoors anyways.

I think I was born to be online. I don't know...I can just spend hours and hours online, food or anything else become so not vital, I'll rather whine about needing to pee for 30 minutes, than actualy taking the 3-5 minutes it takes to go pee. I'm feeling weird right now though...all these people I talk to and have known for ages just seem to be...elsewhere. One's in the middle of moving, so she can't spod much, another has a spod visiting, and others are home for the holiday. I just feel sort of..empty? yeah. *sigh* Poor pathetic me ;) it's eating at me that I won't have a puter or a modem in the US though, at least not this semester...being able to spod whenever I wanted to was one of the actual reasons for me doing the move...yeah, that is kind'a sad to say, but it's true :( I didn't go to study, I went to be able to spod from my room at 3.am. heh, mature. :)

I just feel so weird. *sigh* I just wish something would step in, tap me on my shoulder, hand me some tickets, and off to NC I'd be. This wait is just driving me NUTS, and I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. This morning I called the american embassy once every minute for half an hour, trying to come through...no such luck, busy signal -all-the-time. I'm starting to think they just hang off the phone when the phone hours start, so people won't come through. 8( My tummy won't settle, it's all in weird knots because I -don't-know-what's-happening-. *sigh*

I just noticed how many things there is I can't even stand saying the names of without feeling like gagging. Cigarettes. Matches. Lighters. Tomato juice. I can't explain it...all those things make me feel awful. I can't even look at the actual items, and I refuse to touch any of it. If my mom leaves an ashtray that's not cleaned standing somewhere, I'll go "EEK! Take away IT!!" until she removes it...I wash my hands if I have to touch a box of matches. I -really- don't know why this is, I've always felt like this, ever since I was a really young child. Weird hangups. OH. I can't eat on/off something that someone else's eaten from before me. Like if mom's made a soup, and tastes it with a spoon, I have to have my own spoon to even think about tasting it (which I rarely do, because I have some hangup about tasting food I'm making too, unless it's fried food.) Still following these thoughts?:) I must seem so odd. Heh, well, I guess I am then...

Ana had sex on camera lats night. I dunno...I have -nothing- against it, everyone does what they feel comfortable, but sex online has NEVER done anything for me...sex talk, sex pictures..nothing. I get turned on my witty conversation maybe, but not things that scream SEX in my face. i guess. I wanna start BORINGCAM!!;)

Let's all hold our breaths and hope the I-20's come in the mail today, okay? No cheating! I can SeEEe youuuuuu ...

No time to write much more than...I GOT THE I-20! Just sent it off...yey...now let's all hope it works out, okaY? dammit. Oh..and my mom said maybe I should try and buy a used puter after all since I want it soo much, she's gunna help me out a lot the last month anyways...sounds great, don't it?

Peace and love and unicorn mushy stuff...have a well xmas, and I'll be popping in and out on and off...okay?Bye :)

Blergh. I got a real bad cold...runny nose and all that. BLERGH. Ah well...it's xmas, I guess. I dunno...compare me right now with how I was right before Halloween...heh, it makes no sense. I am SO not in the mood for this holiday, and that's despite the fact that I made ginger snaps last weekend. The thing is, you're supposed to use these pre made molds to cut out hearts and stars and xmas trees and other holiday looking cookies, but we only have this sad looking flower shape, and a bad heart shape, it's too narrow and it has a bump on the side. Thusly I took a knife and just cut on my own...I made a ginger snap like my tattoo, and a monster. The monster was supposed to be a pretty girl at first, but heh, it's real hard using a dull knife to make a face in thick dough, and when it came out of the oven it looked like a monster. It didn't bake evenly either, so it tasted like it looked. Heh.

Ana image I made

Heehee, I showed it to her, and she really liked it...yey :) Well, since I'm not incredibly artistic, doing funny pics'll have to do I guess.

I haven't bought -any- xmas presents. I haven't sent -any- xmas cards. I did sing silly xmas songs to myself last night though. *shrug* There's no snow either so, don't blame me =( Not in the mood.

Okay. I'll work on my yey and suck of 1997 lists now. Heh. Might as well make some, it's fun to list things. *sneeze*

Today's the last day I see Maria btw. She was at my place last night and we watched Private parts with Howard Stern (so funny, so funnnnny). I also saw The English patient, which I felt really SUCKED. *sigh* I wasn't even looking forward to it. The one thing that kept me watching was Juliette Binoche, the rest just....SUCKED. I just...didn't like it. I guess it's all these love stories where people find PASSION and say all those PASSIONATE things, and love each other till they're about to throw up. I like it, but it has to be real special for me to not think it stinks. I think a lot of the time european filmmakers get the desperation through better. Or something. _Everyone_ should watch my favourite french movie, Les amants de Pont-Neuf...incindentaly with Juliette Binoche. See THAT one and bawl your eyes out :)

*blergh* Think I'll make muffins and bring Maria as a lame xmas gift. Yes. If I can bother. Maybe. ;)

Strange that I never mentioned Michael Hutchences death some weeks ago. The reason I am now is because I've been singing that song all day long...it was my favourite INXS song, off the only album I had with them - X. It was quite strange that I bought it all those years ago, because when it was released, I disliked it a lot. I thought Michael Hutchence was icky, and the Suicide Blonde video annoyed me a lot, because MTV played it ALL THE TIME. Then about a year or two after it's release I woke up one morning from a dream that had consisted of the songs from that album I'd heard now and then, and I just knew I -had-to-buy-it. It was rather strange concidering I only had maybe 5 other records in total...I just wasn't a music person, our home...wasn't one with music. I ran down to the music store and got it, it was during winter break, and I bought it...and fell in love with it. It was a wonderful album to play when it was really dark outside (heh, right about now it's dark 17 hrs/day here...), and Michael Hutchence's voice was delicious.

After winter break I met my friend Helena, and was going to tell her about this wonderful record I had, when she told me how wonderful Guns'n'roses were. And so I kept INXS to me, and buried it somewhere in wait for another winter.

Gunna go home and have instant noodles now 8)

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