Odd days. Tuesday. Bored bored bored insanely bored. I spent the whole day doing absolutely nothing. Certainly not studying for the test wednesday. I kept thinking of things I should or could do. I ended up doing neither. I wanted to go down to the park and to the swings as it got darker, but I couldn't seem to get my energy up. Bored bored bored. Called motels and hotels all morning. Got terribly depressed. I can't afford to stay at any of them the last week I have to stay here to do finals. Great. We're scheduled to move out of the apartement next week, on the last of april. I'm gunna be homeless, boys and girls! No... I'm sure it'll work out. Maybe maybe maybe somebody knows somebody who knows somebody who wouldn't mind me and Jesica there for a week or so. I'm not that terrible of a houseguest, honest. I do my dishes. I clean up after myself. I don't smell. (My shoes do, though 8( I really need a second pair of shoes.) SOMEBODY HOUSE ME. Hehhh :) In the evening the boredom was as thick as mayonnaise. Me and Jesica decided to order pizza. I made the call. I don't think there have ever been a dorkier call for pizza in Gumby's history. I stuttered, I giggled nervously, and in the midst of all Jesica left the room so I was like "okay just send us that bye argh". We ended up with a SMALL pizza and Pokey sticks for..$15!!! GUMBY'S!!! Blah. We got Jesse to come over in an attempt to kill the boredom. Heh. We decided to rent a movie. BIG ENORMOUS HUGE mistake. Hehehhehh. Well. I don't know. Me and Jesse have a similar taste in a lot of movies, so no problem there, but Jesica's taste didn't quite mix with ours, so we all ended up veto'ing each other's suggestions for ages. AGES I tell you. I wanted to show them Les Amants De Pont-Neuf with Juliette Binoche, but it seems IT'S NOT AVAILABLE. Gasp. One of my absolute favourite french movies... not available. Cry. So we wended up with another french movie that we all could agree on. Sort of. Barjo, Confessions of a Crap Artist. Hehhhhh! Without any doubt, a true weirdAss French movie. *grin* I _really_ liked it, except for the "crazy guy killing lots of animals" part. Any movie with a death scene in which the dying man's last thought is "I have a hard on." is worth it, hehheheh. Jesica did, as we suspected, fall asleep early on. Tsk tsk tsk. Right as we came home with the movie, I flipped on the telly, and THERE SHE WAS. Ana. Dancing and singing on Vibe. I screamed and squealed and ran around and behaved loudly in all sorts of ways. My attempts to behave like a Normal Human Being(tm) were spoiled in the matter of seconds. Not that I think anyone was falling for it. :) Ana was *really* good... just as I've imagined her to be. Her insane makeup and sparkles and spikey hair and flakey appearance was an inspiration to us all, yes. And hey... I went back yesterday and checked one of the ana cam archives, and all of a sudden this pop up: My name at #analove is Lana. Someone asking for meee. Heh. Well, I was SORT of on Anacam, wouldn't you say?;) After the movie, we channel surfed. We ended up on a long infomercial with a strange animated man that looked like a mutation of Seinfeld (his name was Bronstein...) try and get us to call a dating service. We spent the entire time trying to mimic his hand gestures. I think we got it down... It was HILARIOUS. I have never seen that many people all wanting to meet people who enjoy long walks on the beach and snuggling up by a fire in my life. Why don't they all just date each other, though? After that I think I played Jesse 70% of my cds (well, maybe around 30). He caught a bug. It looked like a cross between a centipede and a spider and it moved *fassssst*. None of us had ever seen any bug like that before. Yey. We're breeding mutant bugs in out living room.

After he left, I stayed up for an hour, went to bed, was awake for another hour, slept one hour, went up at 5 am to study for my test, ended up online. On the bus, I fell asleep and woke up 4 seconds before my bus stop. I suck. I did okay on the test though, even though I barely read through the pages. It was just sociology, about families and stuff, and alot of it was just common sense, or things I just... knew. Got online after the test, while completing some late assignments, only to have Jesse (heh, why do everyone I talk about have to be named Jesica, Jessica or Jesse ?) show up to tell me that if you stay up 5 days in a row with no REM sleep, you go clinically insane. After 10 days, you die. I took the hint, went to bed at 8 pm, and slept till 11.15 this morning. And that's tuesday - wednesday for you. I lead such an exciting existence, don't I?:>

Actually, there was one guy I would call on that Bronstein dating service, and that was simply because his entry was him saying "Hi, My name is (something), and I'd like to meet a woman who... oh hell, anybody would do." Hehehehhehe!! I like that. Probably because I'll end up like that in 15 years, balding, on a really creepy infomercial with women in ugly bikinis and breast ready to pop dancing behind me, while I plead that "anybody would do..." Beats "long walks on the beach and romantic dinners by the fire" Oh I sound so unromantic, don't I? I just think it depends on what you find romantic. *shrug* I would probably suffocate if someone bought me flowers, or beat them up with them. I think it's just a matter of opinion. Some people find making out to Celine Dion romantic. Whatever makes you tick. *shrug*

I turn to my computer like a friend. I need deeper understanding. Give me deeper understanding.

Friday, April 24 He said dance for me, fanciulla gentil He said laugh a while, I can make your heart feel He said fly with me, touch the face of the true god And then cry with joy at the depth of my love PJ Harvey, The Dancer (To Bring You My Love)

I got an A on my Essay 3 in english... can you believe that? Two A's in a row. Maybe I'm not -that- horrible at writing after all. Or maybe the teacher is just trying to keep me from giving him the evil eye. Hhhhehh. Saw my English advisor today to get ready to pre-register for the fall. That man is sooo funny, and everytime I stop by we end up talking about movies. Today we babbled off 2 hours on Muriel's Wedding, Natural Born Killers, could I help him remember this swedish nursery rhyme his mother used to sing, shouldn't I have a minor in some foreign language, seeing as I've studied 6 outside of swedish through the years, had I ever considered japanese, did I appreciate Woody Allen, etc etc etc. I ended up with a sheet of classes to try and register for, and TOO FUCKING LATE to get to the council travel to get them to change my plane ticket home, because they CLOSE AT 5.30, and not 6! How sick is that???? Ah well. Tomorrow. =->8( He even decided to tell me that Maya Angelou lives an hour away from here... How EVIL to plant the seed, now I'm in angst trying to surpress my wish to go seek her out. I'd just want to tell her that some of her writing's helped changedmy life, and even get me connected with my bosnian heritage. She's in a way responsible for me daring to come to America to study. But why would I go bother her with another unoriginal fan attack.

I just went and got our mail... and... there's a large, mysterious, white envelope in it, quite thick too, I might add. From "ABC". Hmmm. "Look Inside for your free ANTI-BANANA KIT!" Oh my. Hehhehe. And it just happens to be from Arizona. Gee, I wonder who it could be from... =->8) Here, open it with me, I'm so giddy I can barely type! Hahhaha, okay, on the opening side it says "NO BANANA! =>("... opening... whoa... it's filllled with.... STUFF. A C3PO PEZ DISPENSER!!!!! Packaged and everything! "Fill the PEZ Dispenser and have fun eating delicious PEZ Candy." It also promises "Fun 'n Games inside." OH! As If I'll ever dare to open it! (although knowing me, I probably will 8) A tiny yellow plastic bunny with a hole through it, my guess is, it's for a necklace... Heehee! Oh My! 3 small plastic frogs! One with a red back with black spots, one with a blue back and black spots, and a black one with 2 yellow/green streaks on its back. They're so cute! (In case you didn't know, I semi collect frog toys. I say semi-collect, because I -never- buy them, people just started buying them for me, and I just... love it. I did buy the tiny silver frog earring I always wear high up on my left ear though :) !!! A Spiderman lip balm!!"Cherry flavoured lip balm - A flavourful treat for little lips." Use with adult supervision. For external use only. They needed to sepcify that last one? Ick. 8( A psychedelic dark pink and yellow eraser, with a paper wrapping saying "Only you can stop BANANAS", "erase bananas!", and "make bananas disappear!". Hee Hee! A cut out paper quote... Yesterday a Florida court ruled that exotic dancers must cover one-third of their buttocks. Now, if only they could pass the same law for the cable guy, we'd be in great shape. Conan O'Brien A black button with the text "Not on DRUGS I was born this way". Hehehhh!! I shall wear it with pride! OH! A tiny, flat piece of goldy metal, in the shape of an ALIEN head, with a black lace thingy to hang it from. Yey! New necklace! Stickers from NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS! WoOOoOOoO!!!! I love this movie and Tim Burton and Danny ELFMAN and Jack Skellington OoOOoOOo! 1 cassette tape "Jarboe - selections", with a scary looking woman on the cover. WOW. I finaly have Jarboe on tape! Let me open this and look inside... A sticker saying "The Original Surprise Bag", and under a drawing of a happy bag (!), "Hi, I'm Mr. Surprise!". A small piece of paper with a pic. of a woman, and the text: When you touch yourself again through me, love is the roaming tragedy. When you touch yourself again through me, love is my Roman Polanski. When you touch yourself again through me, love is the Roman tragic seed. Jarboe, Tragic Seed. A cassette with Cranes! "Selections for Jennie". Inside there are sticker's with bee's pollinating flowers, and another sticker with SNOOPY holding a heart, a thick textured sticker that actually reminds me of a Velvet Elvis, for some reason =->8) Lastly, there's a letter.

the Anti Banana Kit Dear JENNIE ALIBASIC, Somebody cares about you! That is why they have chosen to send you this special Anti-Banana Kit, at no charge to you! Why? Because, you mean a lot to some people out there JENNIE ALIBASIC, people who want to see you happy, people who want to know you're doing well. People who don't want you turning into a banana. As you know, bananas are evil. This kit should help you, JENNIE ALIBASIC, successfully ward off the miserable evil that is banana. Until we can find a cure for bananas, our best hope is that concerned people will send their friends this special Anti-Banana Kit. Thank You, Anti-Banana Coalition (ABC) Oh my. =->8) I need to stop writing here and look closer at my new treasures... write more later :)

Saturday, April 25. It's when you turn silent for a while It's when you look at me I have to pay attention to what I do Sometimes I wish you didn't look the way you do. Jakob Hellman, Only be friends. I DIDN'T GO TO BED again. And it was all Jesse's fault. Again. *shrug* He came over around 8 pm something, and we left to rent "Silence of The Lambs" at Visart. When we came back, Aziza and Jesica and Sahar (friend of Aziza's) were there, so we waited to watch the movie... Around 10.30 we decided we were too hungry, and ordered pizza from Gumby's. Why does it take 20 sec.s when Jesse or Jesica order pizza, and 5 minutes when I do it?? Blah. I need to learn how to speak on the phone. After a short argument over what we should tip the delivery person with (Heh, Jesse thought we should give away a small pack of my swedish washingpowder. I opted against it. No dead delivery guys here, if I can avoid it.), we settled for just plain ole money. At around 11 something we started the movie... Aziza left the apartement, and Jesica went to sleep. I hid behind a couch pillow. I've seen it so many times before, and yet it still effects me enormously. Around 2 am the movie was over, and Aziza had returned. All of a sudden Jesse informs me that "it is now too late to go to bed, so we'll have to stay up all night. Again." In frustration, a pillow fight took place on the livingroom floor. I lost. We then spent hours til around 5-6 am watching strange fairy tales on PBS, and talking really incoherently. (Well, me, at least.) That's when we put on shoes and - went to Harris Teeter. After sharing three donut things there, we rode the sugar rush to WalMart. (Where else, 6.30 am??) We played some crappy videogames, and hung out in the music section. Do you know Wal-Mart now have a sort of thing where you can slide the cd under a scanner thing, and it gives you the choice to listen to a few tracks of the cd - EVERY cd?? When I managed to drag myself from that, I bought the TV Guide special about Seinfeld for my brother back home, and we once again set off for the car. Discovered that Barnes & Nobles don't open until 9 am, which sucks when it's only 7.30, and you've already roamed Harris Teeter and Wal-Mart. As the car pulled away from the shopping center, we got an idea and turned back around, parked the car, and sat to read our magazines by this fountain, and a strange hand-statue that seemed to be flipping the world off. Too cold for my butt. Blergh 8(. And that's when it happened. Jesse decided to rollerblade on the parking lot. He also decided to get ME to rollerblade. ME. I don't think you realize how big my phobia is about this kind of thing, seeing myself falling to the ground and hurting every inch of skin and bone in my body. "Well just SEE if I have a pair of rollerblades that fit? Pleeease?". *shrug* Confident knowing that my short round'ish duck feet would not fit, I agreed. They... fit. PERFECTLY. Argh. Eventually I got all the pads on, as well as the skates, and found myself trying to stand up from the car. I HAD WHEELS ON MY FEET. I felt like a roadrunner. I was quite a pitiful image skulking about Wal-Mart's parking lot. I'd like to note that I didn't fall a single time. I did tell Jesse 'FUCK YOU!!!!" about 30 times though, whenever he said something encouraging. Heh. :) I discovered that if you grab a shopping cart to lead you around, it's not that hard to get around on rollerblades. Eventually I even sort of got how to get a teeny bit speed without just riding behind the rolling shopping cart like a banana. And much to my surprise, I must admitt... I had fun. At 9 we went to Barnes & Nobles, and he introduced me to a wonderful book by an Eddie Little called "another day in PARADISE." I got through a chapter and a half already at the store, and got so captured by it's langauge and story that I made him lend me his copy of it. It was odd finding myself in a car around 10 am in the country side sort of, a landscape that looked so much like home with its magnificent fields and munching cows I almost wept a little. "Giving money away, giving drugs away, and always stealing so I'd have more for me and more for the borderline crazies, bust-out-junkies, psychotic scooter trash, ex-convicts, Vietnam vets--kill'em all, let God sort'em out--fools and dope fiends I ran with, looked up to, and loved like a normal person supposedly loves his brothers." Eddie Little, Another Day in Paradise. I was driven home around noon, and rushed to Franklin Street with Jesica to sort my travel plans for home out, and to see L.A Confidential at the dollar theater.

I can't reschedule my return ticket to Sweden. There's some sort of World Cup in France, so there were -no- flights to London available. I'M STUCK in this country till may 20!!! 12 extra days! I guess it would be okay if I'd only have people here to do stuff with, but Jesica goes home around the 8'th 9when I thought I'd be leaving), and Aziza and Joseph leave for Egypt the 15'th. And I don't wanna force Jesse to entertain me. It's enough he (or I) have kept me (or him) up 7-8 nights in two weeks. L.A Confidential rocked, the little I saw. I had to keep my eye shut 40% of the time due to extreme tiredness, but the last third...WOW what a movie. YUMMMM. And now I'll finish off my tequila. Yes. Let's see if anything more follows here, I don't know if I'll be able to type all that well...

Sunday, April 26 Post at CN by me. Subject: friends. Posted by aLanis on 10:57:59 AM - Sun, 26 April. Article has been read thirteen times. sometimes ppl sneer and think we're weird coz we have all these people online that we say are our best friends and they go "but you've never met them!" well. i'v been in a real bad position the past weeks i was facing being stuck in america til may 20 without anywhere to live barely any money coz my parents aren't that well off BIG big situation i had no idea people online would just... be there for me so much Bren, Kafka, Tetsuo, Kerowyn, Psmith (not in the original post..sorrry Dylan!) even though it worked out I want you publically to be known as the BEST FREAKING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD all you thought out to help me out is in my heart i feel like celine hehehehhe but well i love you guys. i really do. *thank you*, with all the cheese i can offer ~Jennie (aLanis) Actual e-mail: Jennie, Bren called me up tonight and asked me if I read your diary about your plane tickets, etc, and I said "Yes =:(... it made me upset because I can't do anything about it... " Well, turns out she, Tetsuo and Kerowyn had been thinking... and they asked if I'd help out, too... Okay How would you like to take a bus up to stay with Kerowyn in Toronto from May 9 until you go back to Sweden? If you can't get your flight changed to leave from Toronto we can get you back roundtrip to NC... Let one of us know if you're up for this... Kerowyn says she has to work during the day but she has books, cds, makeup, a dog... and can introduce you to some people... Bren and I wanted to get you out to Seattle or Arizona but you'd be on the bus for like 2 or 3 days each way, and 4 to 6 days on a bus will be a pain. ~Kafka.

(Before you get excited, as much as that offer blows my mind, I don't need to take them up on it. I'm almost sad it worked out here irl over the day, but the thought alone slay me. ) Everything has turned around. Last night, I was dead tired, half drunk, and depressed. Today, I'm the happiest orange in the world. I have housing covered. I have friends that blow my mind. The Simpsons' 200'th episode starts in an hour. And I am the luckiest girl on the planet. I want to kiss the sky, the trees, and every single friend I have. I love you people, and it will all be closer detailed in an entry later. Thank you. :)

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