In the afternoon, we went to a computer lab, and I wrote the short entry to tell everybody I love them, and that things are as of yesterday, alright. Jesica logged on and told me Jesse had called and asked about our 200'th Simpsons episode celebration, so I got him online, and we decided to watch it at the apartement. Aziza went to Joseph's, and taped Merlin for me (I LOVE Merlin the sourcerer, and magical beautiful stuff on tv. Yum. And Sam Neil...*shivver*) I loved the Simpsons episode but... somehow, it didn't seem big enough to fully celebrate _200_episodes_. But that's just me talking. Nothing would've been enough, I think. =->8) And then, he kind'a stayed. Again. Until 4 am. !!! It's kind of weird when two people both tell the other "OKAY we have to limit this, from now on you CAN'T STAY after 1 am. Not working." It's -not- working. Besides, the talking ratio is about 70% my babble, 30% his. I'll run out of crap to tell sometime, so I can't be wasting it 13 hours at a time ;) We just have FUN, and it feels so good to have a friend that -I- can call and ask if they wanna rent a movie with me, and not have to completely rely on my room mates to drag me to stuff (though he was technically Aziza's friend first, I'm just borrowing him ;). He gets me to rollerblade, and don't even take offense when I tell him to fuck off for the umpteenth time. We had a second lame pillow fight yesterday, but I didn't feel like losing again, so we stopped. We did other lameass games too, and he won it all. I swear it's only because he's taller, dammit, if we fought for real I WOULD SO kick his ass.:) We pondered renting a Bruce Lee movie, but it was 11 and he was leaving soon (...right...), he actually suggested we'd go sparr with boxing gloves and helmets and all that sometime, and the crazy ass part is - I'd think that'd be fun. My dad was a boxer in his upper teens, and he still has the boxing gloves from then... they're _heavy_, and he's promised them to me since I was a kid. I think I've watched Raging Bull and the Rocky movies a bit too much ;) I ended up telling Jesse all these really crazy stories about weirdo's who have approached/harrassed me over the years... you know, hearing myself spilling all those memories so casualy, makes me wonder. I tell things I've only told Jessica or Aziza before as if I'm telling funny christmas anecdotes. It's weird. I just feel comfortable telling him stuff, because he never judges me, and he never give me that look of 'heh, ghod you're weird." It's just so... nice. Calm.

Tuesday, April 28. Out of the ash I rise with my red hair And I eat men like air. Sylvia Plath. I dyed my hair, I DYED MY HAIR I DYED MY HAIR. Red. Lovely, beautifully red. Well, auburn. My hair took it up wonderfully, and it made me feel exstatic over myself. Now all I have to wait for is for my hair to grow out some more, so it'll actually -look- good too. It's such a good day. It's such a GREAT day. I'm disgustingly cheerful for someone who has ten thousand things to complete for tomorrow (last day of classes), and who's also moving in the evening... Things are just so calm in the middle of all confusing thrown about. It's so hard. Everyone keeps asking me and disbelieving me when I say that everything is worked out between me and Aziza. They refuse to believe that one can spend 4 months barely talking, only to work it out in one day and end up hugging and giggling and talking as if nothing had happened. Well I can't explain it. It just... worked out. We're back to where we always were before, to when we understood things the same way. In the process I'm deadscared to lose Jesica though. =( It's been two days, and you can't imagine how hard it is to all of a sudden feel guilty for spending time with one or the other. I don't WANT to come off as someone who dumps friends when it's convenient, because that is not who I am. How can I balance this whole new friendship with the one that's grown between me and Jesica? It's so strange, because this is how me and Aziza would have been all semester if things hadn't gone weird, and if we had, where would me and Jesica have ended up? How can I not foolishly let a 3-year frie ndship that is finaly back on track get my attention for the moment? I'm doing my best to be happy myself, and feel good with both of them, but they aren't that good friends right now, and I feel torn in a weird, way, a position I've -never- had to be in before, because the one or two friends' I've had before have never known each other. *sigh* Whatever happens, I hope I can be a friend to both. I know I can. It's just hard. All of a sudden I feel like the only lollipop left in the world of sugar crazed people. :)

I called home, and my brother has deposited $160! That's $100 more than I expected. I celebrated by doing a great makeup, running my fingers through my red hair, and taking the bus to Franklin Street to splurge. I bought salsa, corncips, parmesan cheese, 7 artificial blue fluid things I love drinking (they're 100% unnatural, and I love them because of it. I like opening and drinking blue mysterious stuff. Blue stuff feels good coming down. And NO, it's not smurf pee :P), salad, a grilled cheese sandwhich, two cheap green waterguns, and The SOUNDTRACK for GEORGIA! I'm listening to "Take me back" with Jennifer Jason Leigh on repeat right now... it's amazing. Coz everything felt, everything felt, everything felt so right and so good Half a year, but I finaly have it. WoOoOO. I'm gunna call a storage place now and hope for a place to store my furniture a week, or I'm in deep shite. Hehehe. I love the on-the-verge-of-catastrophy tendencies I surround my life with.

Wednesday, April 29 Happy Birthday to You Happy Birthday To YOUuu Happy BIRTHDAY, Dear Diary, Happy Birthday to YoUUuUUuUu Today is the 1 year celebration of this diary's start. What a day, heh. Last day of classes. I managed to oversleep, and ended up with 4 minutes to rise out of bed and into clothes and out the door down to the bus. I did manage to buy two wonderful bagels with creamcheese at Starbucks again though. Yum. Here's what I screwed up today: A paper. I -forgot- to write an entire paper for english class today. My teacher wasn't too pleased, as expected, but he agreed to let me e-mail it to him tomorrow, so I guess today wasn't the last day at school til finals next week. Whoopee. Found out what three major things I need to write and turn into my Personal and Social Development class by may 6. We're supposed to turn in a journal again, and I'm seriously considering printing this journal and turn it it, but I don't know what my prof. would say about the language, nor topics, nor style... Don't know at all. *shrug* Math. I can feel a D coming on =( But ah welll 'll live Nevermind. Good stuff? SCHOOL IS ALMOST OUT freakin' out ahahha. Only finals left. Speaking of finals... This lady came up to me in the lab and heh asked me to print this document for her... sure... So I open it up and..um. It's the final exam for one of my classes. IT'S THE FINAL EXAM PAPER FOR ONE OF MY CLASSES. All 75 questions. My final. I print it, she saves it, and LEAVES, and I'm elft sitting there with an open document. With my final examination sitting there up on the screen. HELLO?!? My conscience cried. I'm not gunna say what I did, but I'd like to think that I can create an A+ on my own, thank you very much 8( I know this is a crappy one year diary celebration, but dammit, I'm moving tonight, and the computer is being put in a box in 5 minutes, so I sort of can't wirte much. Gunna go see The Big One with Michael Moore now. :) And pack. And... tomorrow I will have moved. And I'll be on campus writing AN ENTIRE PAPER. *grin* Life is craxy.

Friday, May 1 I wait all day for my sailor and sometimes he comes see you over hill and dale riding on the wind I see you know me, you know me like the nightingale "Oh fair maiden I see you standing there" will you hold me for just a fair time the tune is playing in the fair night I see you in my dreams fair boy your eyes haunt me Tori Amos, Song for Eric (Bee-Side)

We're out of the apartement. It feels like I've been walking around with two buckets of water on my shoulders, and all of a sudden, I just... dropped them. It feels so good. After spending 5 hours cleaning up the apartement yesterday morning (since Jesica hadn't done much, heh... ) we were done and... out of there. Impressive. I now live at Aziza's place, with her really frightening mother, obnoxious 16 year old brother, and game crazed little sister, and it feels like heaven :>

Monday, May 4 She said they all think they know him well She knew him better Everyone wanted something from him I did too but I shut my mouth He just gave me a smile Tori Amos, Past The Mission (Under the Pink).

I've been sleeping on 3 different couches since we moved out thursday morning. It's made muscles I never thought I had ache in a most persistent way. Not that I care. I'm too baffled by the number of unknown muscles I seem to possess ;) I feel bad for having neglected this thing for so many days, but at the same time I know it's not much I had control over, I just haven't been around puters that much since the move. The move. Didn't mention too much about it, did I? How about one of those day-by-day recaps I seem to be so fond of? You up for it? Okay... here we go:

Wednesday evening. Ate at the Hare Krishna's as usual, this time with Jesica, Firas and Jesse (as opposed to just me and Jesica). It was a bit strange, and I got really angry with Firas when he started poking ants carrying food with a big dandelion leaf. I know, I know, it sounds crazy. It just -pissed- me off. I was sitting there, completely enthralled as the ants carried off crumbs and things, and he starts POKING them. I know I overreacted, but I repeatedly told him/asked him/yelled at him to stop, and he wouldn't. Blah. That's enough to turn ME into a piss ant. Afterwards we tried to think of something else to do, while avoiding home and having to pack things up for the move the next morning. We talked for maybe 50 minutes over what freaking movie to watch, eventually giving up, and deciding to go back to the apartement after all. Me and Jesse can decide on a movie, me and Jesica maybe can decide on a movie, but the four of us certainly couldn't. It just frustrates me to be stuck arguing over what MOVIE to watch again and again for an hour at a time. Okay, so I was still pissy and unpleasent over the ant thing. :P~ At the apartement, me and Jesse watched tv while Jesica was packing some things, industriously. Then I posted that pathetic excuse of a post (considering it was the 1 year celebration post and all), and we left for the movies. The Big One, with Michael Moore, more precisely. It was -so- funny! And depressing, heh, but most of all -funny-. Hehe :) Go see it. GO SEE IT. The Jennie hath speaketh. With intentions to go to the car and call it a night (at 11 pm, it would've been an early record. Had... we done that.), we walked to the parking garage thing. And that's when I decided I wanted to see the roof and the garden there. And then we kind'a got stuck there for an hour or two, me talking his ears off as usual. *shrug* Around 1 am we left... for Harris Teeter. I bought a delightful salad, onion pitas and a small bottle of bluecheese dressing, and he got some, uh, stuff. It was soooo yummie. And then I was driven home. No, I didn't pack. I went to bed. Hrmph.

Thursday Jesica woke me up at 6.45, asking something. Rather than stay in bed, I decided to actually get up and *gasp* start packing. I was a little annoyed by the fact that the things I had agreed to carry over to the neighbours from Jesica's room hadn't yet been actually dismantled (futon, etc), but I lived. Around 7.30 she left, and I began really packing. MY GHOD, for someone with very little stuff assembled here in America, I have a lot of junk. I threw things down in a suitcase randomly and handed it to Aziza and Joseph to be driven to her house where I'm to stay. When they left, I started loading things into the neighbours livingroom. I was a bit shocked at the amount of things that were still to be carried over, as I thought Jesica'd done that the night over, but after an hour or so, the apartement was empty - except for my remaining things, and the kitchen. I finished up my room, swept and cleaned up the bathroom, vacuumed all rooms but Aziza's previously cleaned room, cleaned the walls, the carpet, stepped into the kitchen and... shrieked. Aziza'd forgotten all her stuff in the fridge, there were still several of Jesica's things layin around, not to mention nothing had been cleaned. When I offered to do a few touch up things when the other's had left, I wasn't aware I was taking on a project of this size... around 11.45 I was STILL cleaning out the kitchen, so I had to go ask the evil staff woman if it was alright to leave the apartement a little after noon instead. She said it was okay, and so I returned back to the apartement, and that's when Aziza came by as a rescuing angel. It took an hour of joint efforts to finish up the apartement. *shrug* As soon as we were done, we went off to Aziza's house. Strangely enough, as I stepped into the livingroom, I got the feeling the past crappppy months had never happened, that I had just stepped off the plane. A feeling of excitment came over me, and I was visably happier than a puppy all evening. An evening spent at the house I got drunk at (It's a house Joseph's been house sitting), sleeping in the same couch as then, but this time, feeling considerably better (though it was still scary to have the view into the woods in every window, and no blinds to shut it out with.)

These huge ass massive several days at a time posts are intimidating, aren't they? Well I can't help it. Sometimes I just need to... babble. *shrug*

Friday We got up quite early, and went to the UNC campus. Why? Because I HAD FORGOTTEN to write an entire english paper! Luckily I had managed to talk my english teacher into letting me e-mail the paper to him... Now it was only a matter of actually writing it, which would prove to be a near impossible task. Instead of writing it, I ended up at www.riddler.com, an online site where one can play a multitude of trivia games... My brain almost died of excitment. I'm pervertedly attracted to trivia games. It's not a competetive thing as much as a want to feel like I know -something- in life, at least, even if it's just things like Marilyn Monroe being the first Playboy centerfold. Around noon Gene came by, and me, Gene and Aziza left for lunch. Lunch... Yummmmm. We ate at Bandidos, a wonderful mexican restaurant with cheese quesadillas enough to still make my mouth water at the thought of it. The meal dragged on for about an hour, we had too much fun just talking about nothing much, and eating fried oreo crusty icecream. We left, tried to think of something to do, and ended up at Starbucks', a few houses away... I had my first mocha frappucino. It was... alright. I'm just not that much of a coffee person, sorry =( We went back to campus, checked in online, only for me to find a depressed Jessica, and an angry Jesica. I've been feeling weird the past weeks because I haven't been able to be online as much as I'd like to, and I miss Jessica like crazy - I guess it was getting to her a bit too =( Well dammit, missy, the only way you can get rid of me is if you... have sex with Phil, and even then I think I'd hang around you. face it. You're stuck with me. As far as Jesica goes... I have no idea what's happened. In about a week, things have gone from okay, to some strange hostile nothingness. I don't know what'll happen in the future. *shrug* It's strange days, I tell you. As I wanted to talk more with Jessica, we ventured off to Gene's dorm room. I think I managed to cheer her up :) Suddenly, Aziza tells me we have to leave within 5 minutes, and heh, so we did. We ended up waiting for her mom to pick us up to go to - her aunt's birthday party. It would've been fine, if it weren't for the fact that neither of us had had a chance to shower/change clothes since the MOVE. I felt like such an icky girl, and my really stinky shoes didn't help much either. We ended up having a lovely time at the party, though, feasting on yummie food around a table in the woods, and later, indoors, as it began to rain. We even played CHARADES for nearly two hours. I was a bit reluctant to begin with, but dammit, I must say, when in the right company, it's a lot of fun. Happy and with full tummies we went home to Aziza's house, and to her brother's room to watch some satellite tv. We ordered "The man who knew too little" from DirectTV... and I fell asleep in the microscopic couch within 10 minutes of the movie's start. hrmph.

Saturday Waking up in that tiny couch was PAINFUL... but I survived. And so the first part of the way went on without much done, except some sluggish starring at the tv screen (I quite enjoy Comedy Central, I must admitt :). I FINALY got to shower, and oh was it ever glorious... I even had some clean clothers in one of my two suitcases. As I went downstairs, I discovered that Jesse was there to take Aziza (and I, I guess) rollerblading. I was very reluctant to try it again (heh, barely a week after my first rollerblading experience, and I'm already back in my "I STINK and I'M GUNNA FALL" paranoia), but came along to give Aziza some support, as it was her first time. She did great :) She did fall once, but HEY, newbies are supposed to (I'm fairly sure the only reason I didn't fall was because I was hanging onto a Walmart shopping cart for dear life), and when Jesse fell too, she felt a bit better, I'm sure ;) And then it was my turn, suddenly 8(. As usual, I was giving them a hard time, refusing to strap on those damn rollerblades... I wanted to settle for just the pads. I don't know why, but I love wearing knee and elbow pads, combined with wristguards and a dorky helmet. I could walk around like that all day long for no good reason if I owned some, just for the hell of it. I'm a very clumpsy person, so maybe it is a good idea... I'd end up with a lot less scars and bumps on my head, I'm sure... I eventually strapped them on, got up and.. SKATED. It took a few minutes, but dammit, I got it :) Heh, I'm still obviously a severe newbie, but I can actually do the skating leg strokes, get some speed, slightly manneuver, AND do uphill. There's only one problem. I can't break. It's a vital thing to know, y'know. I end up stopping myself by slamming into strategic things, or possibly turning to the side so to decrease the speed. Ridiculous :) BUT. I didn't fall! MAUAHUAH I'm so proud of myself, and this time... I think I can see myself getting rollerblades sometime in the far away future. Or at least... the pads. ;) Eventually we packed up, and went and picked Gene up. We went to a wonderful chinese restaurant (HEH, I used the chopsticks :) Oh, please be impressed, it's only my second time, and it's been 2 years since the first time) where you could basically pick and choose from an enormous food selection, and then just pay for the plate. I also managed to get my first fortune cookie... it said: Your secret desire to completely change your life will manifest.(in bed) Okay, so the in bed part wasn't real, but as the other's convinced me, any fortune prediction sounds better with an "in bed" slung onto the end. After stuffing ourselves silly, we went on a minigolf course hunt... but I wasn't too impressed with the result, and frankly, it wasn't crazy enough to be worth $5/person, so we left for... Walmart. We spent $16 on new stove eye thingies for the old apartement, and left to rent movies. We got 8 Heads in a Duffelbag (which I'd already seen, 'tis funny:), and a Mystical Science Theater 3000, and went back to Aziza's house to watch. We had a splendid time, I must say, although I think I might have gone crazy there for a while, as I actually shook hands with Jesse, agreeing that he and I will go boxing. With gloves... and pads... the whole shabang. I think I'll have to watch at least one Rocky movie to get psyched before actually doing it, though. MST3K was just as silly and hilarious as I'd expected, but unfortunately we only got to see half of it, as Aziza's mother decided it was time for Gene, Jesse and Joseph to leave us, as we were too loud... or it was too late... or something. :> Slept in the microscopic couch again...

Sunday. An entire day spent to avoid studying for finals. We made yummie pizza, I read a zillion entertainment magazines Gene had donated to me, read 60 pages more of that Eddie Little book, braided Aziza's hair, procrastinated, procrastinated, procrastined... went to bed in ANOTHER couch, this one slightly more comfy.

Got up at 5.50, only to discover I had managed to leave my textbook for one of today's finals at the former neighbours place... had 3 icecream sandwhiches for breakfast, and had poor Aziza drive me to the bus stop... Arrive at school around 7 am, an hour early for my first final, maths, and search aimlessly for half an hour to find the building it's being held in... I glance in my notebook, and discover that maths ISN'T my first final, instead it's Sociology, the subject I had no textbook for, and hadn't studied for at all.. Now the amazing thing is, the Sociology final went alright, whereas the maths final I HAD studied for went horrible, and unfortunately I'm not just saying that. Ah well :( Hopefully I'll get a D in that class, or I dunno what'll happen with me going back to America for next semester. *shrug* With two more finals left to do this week, I have a lot of procrastinating to do, so I best get going. *tilt of head* How can I write this much about... nothing, really? It's beyond. Much like the fact that you're taking the time to read through it all. You scare me, but... I think I like you. hehe.

Heh, this entry is already 14890 dull bytes long... yikes. Maybe this recapping things in details has gone too far. *shrug* It's only my life :>

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