I thought I'd get no money this month at all...and THEN my mom scooted down and woke me up and showed me this slip thing that said I'd gotten $200 back in a tax refund. I was SHOCKED. I mean..does that mean I'm grown up? Coz I always considered taxes and things like that to be for..well..grown up. I get this image from the Disney 'Robhin Hood' movie, where they steal back money from the lion king, I mean sir John, and they're scooting off into the Sherwood forest with sack and sacks of money and one of the animals, the monk I think yells "Tax Refund!!" or something like that....
So I went and got the money, and stopped by this shop with mechanical stuff, like tv's and such, and I bougth myself a new walkman and a cd, "Maladjusted" by Morrissey.. at a reduced price and everything! Then I went into this store to buy shampoo, and well, me and my mom have this habit, if we have bags with us, instead of taking one of those little booths for bags with keys and stuff we ask the person selling lottery tickets if he could just guard the bags for a while. They always say yes.. and then on the way out we buy a lottery ticket from him as a thank you. Only I'm a dork so I always grab some coins in my wallet and buy for the money I fish up, and usualy I end up spending three times a smuch as an ordinary lock/key booth would've cost me but..who cares. Anywas, I did the same today and...I WON!! Not much, about $2.50 , but I WON!
The rule however is - GoodThing(tm) happen, expect BadThing(tm). I spent the happy part of the day expecting the sky to fall down beign arrested or something like that.
Well...It did. I don't want to bring out details. Therefore I won't. I'll only say that a very good friend of mine decided to once again set
herself up to get hurt. And I'm sorry that it had to be that way. And...that I don't want to spend time thinking about it, because I can't change how she wants to live
her life, and that's alright, but I can't react to it. Not now. I'm sorry =(
I CUT MY HAIR!I CUT MY HAIR! I'M A SHORTHEAD! AHhahahauHAUHAUAH!!
See I was watching French Kiss with Meg Ryan (where the pic is from),
and I just started wondering how it would feel like to have hair that style that you can just mess
around and put mousse in and play with..and I got SO inspired I went down to my room
and started to cut...and cut..and CUT...and at first I was setteling for a more semi short hair do,
fluffy front hair and shoulder lenght back hair, but then I spent an hour WHINING, going "Do I look
like an old lady? I LOOK LIKE AN OLD LADY!I swear I look like and OLD LADY!!" so I got the scissors
and started cutting some more..and...more...and NOW it's the style of Meg Ryan's hair with a bit longer front
hair, and I also dyed it red, sort of a darker shade than usual, and I have these curl waves in it too and it's so fluffy
and silly and it LOOKS GREAT! I'm in love with my hair! I _never_ had it short before! Ever! I cut off like over a feet of
hair and I DON'T REGRET IT!We're talking cutting off over a feet of hair..I haven't had short hair since I was 2-3 yrs old...muahauaha I guess it was symbolic though, coz as you all know, yesterday was august 29, the day we were all gonna die according to Terminator 2, and in a way, my old look died. =) I'm now getting my nose pierced next week for sure, it's really gonan suit this look. WOOO!!!
I love my HAIR and I love my new walkman and my blue painted nails and Depeche Mode and my new Morrissey cd..and the Kate Bush cd I just bought.. and the way my hair looks like Meg Ryans when I put mousse in it..and the way people look differently at me...and the way I even seem taller.. and the way I feel today and everything. EHHE!
I'm doing this make up and everything...snazzy! I look really cool, and not me, but people tell me I really look great so.. I feel really great still, and keep messing my hair up. Hilarious.
ELIZA - a friend you could never have before
Eliza: Hello. I am ELIZA. How can I help you?
You: I'm having nightmares
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am having nightmares? (??)
You:Yes
Eliza: You are sure?
You: Very Sure
Eliza: Please go on
You:It's keeping me from getting sleep
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
You:No
Eliza:You are being a bit negative.
You:Sorry, I didn't mean to be.
Eliza:Apologies are not necessary.
You:Oh, okay
Eliza: Please go on.
You:why?
Eliza:Please go on.
You:But I don't have anything else to say really!
Eliza:Why do you not have anything else to say really?
You:Because I suck?
Eliza:Do any other reasons not come to mind?
You: I am an idiot??
Eliza:How long have you been an idiot?
You:Since I was born I think..
Eliza:Why do you tell me you were born you think just now?
You: I didn't!
Eliza:Can you elaborate on that?
You:Yes, but I won't, because I don't feel like it. It was a stupid assumption.
Eliza:You are sure?
You:Quite
Eliza:Please go on.
You:WHY??
Eliza:Please go on.
You:But I thought we were talking about my NIGHTMARES?
Eliza:Why do you say your nightmares?
You:Well I am the one having them, aren't I?
Eliza: How long have you been the one having them arent you?
You:Okay, that didn't make any sense at ALL. Thank god I'm not paying for this.
Eliza:Does it please you to believe I am not paying for this?
You:Actually no, I would LIKE to see you pay for this. That would make me HAPPY.
Eliza:You are being a bit negative.
You:Oh shut UP.
Eliza:Please go on.
You: NO! I'm leaving. I'M LEAVING, Y'HEAR?
Eliza:You are being a bit negative.
You: No shit.
Eliza:You are being a bit negative.
You:That's it. Bye.
Eliza:Please go on.
You:FUCK OFF!
Eliza:Please go on.
Heh, I was a bit mean to her, wasn't I?
I know I'm childish but I'm just SO ANGRY with those damn snipey stupid librarians. *showing her violent side* I have this HUGE URGE to have everyone I know mailbomb them. But I won't...lalalaaalalaaaaa...
maj-stina.petersson@bibliotek.ronneby.se Oh look, the e-mail address to the leader librarian bitch just happen to hop in here, how..unexpected that was....lalaaaaaI'm sitting by a puter called Alice. *gringrin* if you dont' catch the reference, it's the name Jessica used at CN while she was TRYING to not spod. She didn't really succeed, thank god, which is why she's back as Kafka. YeY. Anyways, the name is from a song, Alice by Sisters of Mercy, and I recently came to have that song when Maria gave me her copy of SoM ' Some Girls Wander By Mistake' so..yey..I have the song..and I *love* it, I find myself humming it all the time...
Alice pressed against the wall
So she can see the door
In case the laughing strangers crawl and
Crush the petals on the floor
Alice in her party dress
She thanks you kindly
So serene
She needs you like she needs her tranqs
To tell her that the world is clean
To promise her a definition
Tell her where the rain will fall
Tell her where the sun shines bright
And tell her she can have it all
Today
Today
Pass the crystal spread the Tarot
In illusion comfort lies
The safest way the straight and narrow
No confusion no surprise
Alice in her party dressed to kill
She the thanks you turns away
She needs you like she needs needs her pills
To tell her that the world's okay
To promise her a definition
Tell her where the rain will fall
Tell her where the sun shines bright
And tell her she can have it all
Today
Today
Alice
Don't give it way
This is so silly, I have to go pee real bad, but since Magnus left and I'm not really authorized to be here, I don't dare go find a loo. Man oh MAN I SUCK!
What Jennie Did Today, thing by thing, while not spodding.
1. Woke up at 9. Rushed upstairs to catch the second half of the rerun of 'Wings'. Wait for Oprah, that starts 9.21.
2. 10.16 - watched a rerun of Inside Edition. Rolled my eyes around. Got a bit weird coz
usualy after watching that I go down to my place, put on
Depeche Mode (Black Celebration, People Are People, Master and Servant and Just Can't Get Enough, which is timed so when they're done
I have 3 mins before the library opens.) while putting my makeup/the rest of my clothes on. but nope. Not today.
3. I was flipping back and forth between the channels. I watched a documentary about a Peter Larre, actor from, uh long ago. He had the biggest most bulging eyes I've ever seen. No fun movies on (and we do have 4 movie channels). No fun anything on. Zapped around for about an hour. At noon I started to get
cravings for something. I served myself a big McDonald's meal in my head, that is - a veggy burger, two large fries, two bluecheese dressings and a pie. In my head that is. It took me 20 mins to
think about wether I shoudl really go buy the food or not. So I went to do that.
4. Took the last money I had saved, the money I wasn't allowed to touch until next week. Went all the way to McDonalds. In the rain. Got acute *mumble* phobia. There were PEOPLE in there. So I couldn't go in there. I went to the supermarket next door and bought veggy frozen pizza and some mushrooms. And 2 cans of Dr Pepper.
And various chocolate things. And a bag of paprika potato chips. And I rented 'Breaking the Waves'.
5. Stopped by one of those 50 cent toy machines. Jessica inspired me. but what did I get? I think it was a bouncing ball. But it was..digusting..it was black, with a white top, and I ended up scratchign the top white rubber ball stuff off, so now it bounces unevenly. really weird.
6. Okay. Went home. Watched a terribly dull movie called heavy, where the headactor guy scared me coz his eyes were really watery, and he couldn't keep them still, so they'd be sort of shaking. Ergh.
7. Watched Oprah at 2.55. It was about..hmm..oh..Father's day. I dunno. I'm sure I cried some. I always do when I see Oprah.
8. Watched a rerun of Seinfeld at 3.45. Ate. Lots.
9. 4.06. Oprah. Read an issue of The amazing Spiderman. it's really weird now..it wasn't about Peter Parker, it was about some clone now being the Spiderman, while peter and Mary Jane had retired and lived in the country. It's a _comic_. Did he ask for some touch up work on his looks or what?
10. Started watching Breaking the Waves. I almost blush watching it, it's so personal, intimite..that love Bess has..scary. *shudder* Yet I know what it's about. or something.
11. LIBRARY! And now the hour has passed =( And I must leave..and I feel pissy. I MISSS IT AAAALL. *sigh* Bare with me =(
No, the good mood hasn't been an allday kind'a thing, but at the moment I feel such a happy rush.. I'm sO STRESSED!!I can't handle this one hour/day spod thing at ALL... I'm REALLY stressed out, and I can't point to anything particular..like, for instance, writing this entry. It may not look much, but it takes me about half an hour/day more or less even though it doesn't show, and right now I am totaly stressed coz I have 19 mins to spod. SEE? This time limit thing is screwing me up and taking the fun out of it! I feel like one of those really busy working parents that work so much but decides that they have to spend exactly an hour quality time with their kids etc, and they cram everything into that hour, but forget to have _quality_ time.
I mean as it is now I come on, I get overjoyed with seeing Jessica and the others on and snog etc, then I check my mail, and thank IPU (invisable pink unicorn..don't...ask :>) that I hardly get mail and that the mail I DO get isn't really mail I must reply long to, all while feeling guilty coz of COURSE I can't really have convo's etc coz..I DON'T HAVE TIME!!
I can't really SPOD coz there's a watch in my brain counting down the minutes, and I feel like I have an ulcer and urgh. NO FUN!=(
Okay. Enough stressy. Think happy. HAAAAPPY. I saw an old cartoon with Betty Boop doin' Cinderella. Have you guys SEEN Betty Boop? Her CHEEKS are ENORMOUS, and no chin at all, or neck for that matter..I mean I know it's Betty Boop and stuff, but she frightened me. Maybe I'm overreacting. A little.
And tonight I am going to see SCREAM!!!!!!!YES!!! You guys KNOW how much I LOVE scary movies, and Wes Craven is a GOD when it comes to that oh I'm so excited I must stop writing now. yes. =) *clinging to thekeyboard* I love thiiiis..*whining* BUT saturday I may get to do Netmeeting with kafka! for HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!baye hehehe
I was reading Jessica's diary entry for today and argh. She thinx her diary sucks etc. NO! I don't care if hers was started as a joke, I love reading it. I mean, dammit, it's not like this diary thing is very serious. Or..hmm... this is really the only place I regularly write at. I don't keep an irl diary because...because...then it's written. On paper. And I have to grunt and moan three months later reading it at how over dramatic and idiotic I am, and how I can't write. That's the thing..this journal is..I dunno. It's not serious. I mean obviously I don't at all write down my real thoughts all the time, because I don't want to go public with how I think that guy stinks coz he said that and how I think that girl's really nice but she should stop talking to me before I get nauxious and...and yet, this is a rather serious diary after all. To me. I read and I remember. And I get to talk about my theories. Like how tomatoes are evil, and how I'm really bluecheese.
*smile* I was just thinking how nice it is not to be in love. Not that that made any sense :)*grin* And no I'm not gonna elaborate.
HOW DO you tell if yer retaining water? I dunno, theys ay you feel bloated, but I always am so I dunno?? it's like how girls are always ranting and raving about cute guys behinds..I -seriously- have no clue on how to judge a good..er...behind. I dunno. I have bad nails too. Will I be kicked out of womanhood now?????
Tomooorrow...WORK!YEY! =)
And that's all I got to say about that. =)
-=*} spiKe makes Kafka minister
{Kafka} heeheh! :)
-=*} Kafka gets down on one knee, takes your hand,
and asks "Will you marry me?"
(type ACCEPT kafka to say yes, or REJECT kafka to say no.)
Shutdown aborted (If you ever knew one was in progress...)
Shutdown aborted (If you ever knew one was in progress...)
{aLanis} OH!
{Kafka} hehe :)
---====}}} Program shutting down NOW {{{====---
Character Saved ...
Typical, ain't it?=(
I've been having this one dream for over 7 years..not every night, and always in different forms, but it always involves the same thing. I'm sort of hostage at some man's house, not young or old. Not hostage...I just know that I'm not there coz I want to. I somehow know that the man loves me, or no, not loves, it's more of a...uuh...I dunno, I can't describe it. Not a crazy insane obsessed kind of thing, it's more of an affection/gentleness. I feel really weird telling you guys this dream.
Anyways. it always ends with me trying to run away, him catching me, smiling sadly, kissing me very lightly and letting me go. At which point I feel this incredibly sad pain in my heart, and I just knwo that I would give anything to go back to him, but now I can't, coz I ruined everything.
I looked some keywords up in a dream analyzing book. Here's some what it said:
Kiss- If youd ream that you kiss someone without passion or words, it means you will fall in love with someone who will never entirely be yours.
Love - When a young girl dreams that she is in love, despite that she isn't in real life, it's a very bad omen. She is likely to die unmarried. if you dream that someone is in love with you, and you aren't in love with that person, it means you may have troubles finding a friend when you need one.
*shrug* =(
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