Evenin' all. I haven't updated for a while so here's what's new.
Firstly, a very reliable source (my mum) has informed me that someone's parents have been viewing my fine specimen of a website. To add insult to injury they have informed my parents of this so called 'outrage'. Apparently my website is pornographic, offensive, sexist, slanderous and eligible for prosecution. In the holy words of Eric Cartman, "What's the big fuckin' deal bitch?" IT IS HUMOUR. It isn't meant to be taken seriously. And anyway, I made this site for myself and my mates and noone else so if you don't fall into those catergories then you shoudn't be here. How in the name of fuck am I gonna get prosecuted? I'm 15 years old, I don't know any better. Anyway, if push comes to shove I'll just plead insanity. It worked for the stalking charge back in '97. Anyway I don't care. My parents actually thought my site was really clever if maybe a little risque.
Also in recent events Rachel Gordon has started going out with Andrew Walker, which isn't suprising really seeing as they've been up each other's arses for the past few weeks. Also notable is the news that Cassie got off with Chris Hill, but I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel for interesting information now. STOP PRESS! 4/4/01 - Walker and Rachel Gordon split up!!!
There's no point going over the cricket club party cause everyone knows what happened. Just wait Laz, you WILL get the David's Nice Site treatment. Just look at what happened to Mr White after making an appearance on this site. It marked the end of his career, his bumfriend left him for another bumboy and his car was stolen by 40 thieves. Don't get me wrong, this site isn't just to degrade certain people, in the case of Alex Beaver his popularity has risen at an astounding rate since being featured in 'The Beaver Shrine'. He's now a household name around Britain and parts of the Philipines, but that's a different matter all together.
That's all for today.
Thankyou and goodnight.
27.2.01
Hi everybody, look behind you. Haha, fooled ya.
If you are not stupid, partially sighted or blind then you will have noticed that David's Nice Site has been awarded the coveted 'Joe's Seal of Approval' by the Spanish National Institution of Patrick Harnett (SNIPH). I am proud and honoured to have received international recognition from such a world renound Institution. I was presented with the award at my Alwoodley based home by the SNIPH English Ambassador and part time club MC, Mr Crampo. He wanted me to pass on this message to you, the people.
"Ay Carumba, Tom Jones hijo de un minero del valle de Rhondda (sur de Gales), que antes de alcanzar el estrellato trabajó como albañil y fue vendedor de aspiradoras, siempre ha sido un entusiasta de la colaboración con otros artistas y de la fusión de estilos. A finales de los 60, cuando le ofrecieron un programa propio de Matthew Kelly. Nuestra compañia ha pasado horas y horas buscando fotos de famosos desnudos, y por supuesto tambien de David Hasselhof desnudo! Los tenemos todos! Puede ser facil o difícil de encontrar fotos de Des O' Connor en bolas pero si las buscas, no dudes en visitar nuestra web de famosos en pelotas. Si quieres ver la base de datos completa, simplemente haz clic aquí!"
Thank you Mr Crampo and SNIPH.
19.2.01
Howdy partner. How are you? Shut up, I don't care.
Just a quicky to tell you about all the new stuff on the site.
Benji's Luv Shack: Benjamin Ariel Caspi has kindly agreed to share with us his many years of experience with women and has produced his very own guide to good lovin'.
Shai's Faaaaabulous Art Gallery!!!: Our resident queer, Shai Vure, has created this page using his artistic skill and camera-whielding capabilities.
Patrick Joseph Harnett Recommends...: Discover the most important things in life as recommended by world famous philosopher and inspirational poet, Patrick Joseph Harnett.
Have fun.
6.2.01
Hey there children.
A war is raging between the notorious Andrew Walker and the infamous Kirsty. Walker's main argument is that Kirsty is a minger, which is a fair observation on his part although Kirsty has retaliated by proclaiming Walker a conceited man who has no right to judge. Harsh words have been exchanged between the 2 parties and obscene language such as 'fuck' and 'shit' has been used during vocal warfare. I feel it is time that a 3rd party steps onto the front line and assesses the situation.
The way I see it, it's a fucked up world we live in and ilfe is a fat ugly bitch so deal with it. If Walker wants to go around saying that Kirsty's face is on the same aesthetic level as a baboon's arse then that is his opinion and he has a right to express it as long as he accepts the consequence of his verbal diahorea. The said consequence is that the aformentioned Kirsty will be mightly pissed off and therefore she will exercise her right to bollocking Walker. But then we ask ourselves, what is she bollocking him for? For speaking his mind? For telling the truth? For stating the obvious? These elements of Andrew Walker's personality are also aspects of human nature and surely being only human is not a punishable crime. Kirsty should have controlled her anger and harboured her pent up energy to help starving children in 3rd world countries, or join the army and kill French people.
My conclusion is as follows: Andrew is right and Kirsty is wrong.
Go visit Walker's site where you can find more information on this issue plues exclusive news regarding technological advances in the field of ear-wanking.
That's all I have to say on the issue.
4.2.01
Wow, that was mad last night at Shai's house. If anyone knows which motherfuckers stole my CD, Shai's 3 CDs and Isobel's purse and phone then leave a message on my guestbook. For anyone that doesn't know what happened last night the highlights were:
Loads and loads of gatecrashers, Steven Isaacs getting his face rearranged after calling some big black guy a nigger, the Police turning up 4 times in all, people throwing bottles at the neighbours' dead dog's grave, James Halpin running away from the cops and ending up in Harewood then getting picked up by the cops and telling them he was Shai which of course lead to hilarious consequences including the cops telling Shai's dad they had his son in the car when Shai was actually at home and James jumping out of his attic window for some reason, someone allegedly getting their drink spiked with ecstacy and all manner of chaos when everyone was kicked out of the house at 10.30pm.
People who got off with each other in momentary lapses of stupidity (unconfirmed):
Benji + Donna,
Heetesh + Jessica G,
Richard Keeting + Shai's bird's mate Dominique.
Apart from all that it was a pretty cool party.
Later kids.
1.2.01
Happy new year! I don't mean it, I hate you and want you to die.
I Just thought you should know that there is now some soft porn on the site. Before any bitches start bitching let me tell you that, yes, women are being exploited and images such as the ones contained within the site are degrading and they present women as objects of sexual desire, which is a really good thing in my opinion cause they're fuckin useless for anything else. So quit whining, get back in the kitchen and make pie. Anyway, there's only one picture so what does it matter. You mingers just wish it could be your ass on page 3 raking in the money. Bah, you make me sick.
Anyway, if you are a hetrosexual male or a woman of the furry-cup drinking pursuation enjoy the picture of some bird from Atomic Pussy or something.
By the way, lesbians are great. My heart warms up when I see a pair of butch muff-munching rascals walking free in a world of discrimination and prejudice, make more videos you fuckin dykes.
Oh yeah, and in honour the Chinese 'Year Of The Fat Bitch On A Chair', I've included a picture of a fat bitch on a chair. It's actually someone that goes to my school. If you wanna have a guess at who it is, sign my guestbook. That's about it for now.
24.9.00
Hello there, I have a small problem. I've just realised that I can't be arsed with the site. I could of course change my mind but for now I'm not bothering with it.
Goodbye.
21.9.00
Be quiet and listen. I am David, this is my site, it is nice. OK? Good.
There's not much on the site at the moment 'cause I'm still working on it but it will be pretty damn good soon unless a 15 year old boy going by the fictional alias of 'Adam Williams' who sports a poor attempt at a quiff decides to delete it all and then bathe in his bath of liquidy cunning. One day I will expose 'Adam Williams' as José Manuel Pedro Sanchez Balboa, a small time Colombian drug barron and big time nobhead.
Society can sometimes be very cruel and discriminating to social outcasts such as 'wankers' and 'twats' so therefore I hope you'll join me in wishing 'Adam' the best of luck in the future.
If you get time post something on the message board.
Enjoy the site.......
1. You must be using a 'computer'
2. The 'computer' must have a 'sceen'
3. The 'person' operating the 'computer' must not be a 'complete retard'
Disclaimer
Mingers, wankers, retards and beavers were harmed in the making of this site. If you were offended by any of the content or images on the website then I believe the correct legal procedure is that you can go fuck yourself. If you or you family have been subject to public humilation due to a picture of yourself being featured on the website than you may take the following action: kiss my white naked ass. The people that this concerns are: bird from Atomic kitten, Alan J. Beaver, Mr White, the Chinese wanking man and the fat bitch on the chair. If you are a minger yourself then you shouldn't be reading this, you should be busy washing or minging or whatever you foul-faced fuckers do, I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do to help you although I just want you to know, you have my deepest sympathies you ugly fuck.
Copyright David Serfaty (c) bla bla bla 2001 bla bla bla bla bla.