In January, Turner Networks, the world leader in thought provoking and intellectually stimulating programming, started airing Roller Durby after an almost two decade absence. For those who were lucky enough to have missed roller durby the first time around, it involves teams of busty women in tight fitting clothes on roller-skates, trying to knock opponents out of a circular ring. Hordes of white trash and sex starved frat boys packed in the auditorium for the event. The target roller durby audience is described as men who think that monster truck rallies are high society events, and believe that the plots of professional wrasselin' are too high brow and confusing to possibly understand.
Did you know that four out of five teenagers don't smoke marijuana? Shocked the hell out of me, but that is what a recent series of commercials targeting teenagers is telling America's youth. The part that they forgot to mention is that statistic means that four out of five teenagers aren't smoking marijuana right this instant. Also in the ridiculous statistic category, did you know that only 32.3% of internet surfers visit adult web sites. What about everyone else? Here are the numbers: 15.8% only look at those pages to "research" content; 9.4% are afraid that their eyes will burn if they even look at naughty pictures; 7.2% don't like that new-fangled technology, they like to get their porn the old fashioned way, through the mail in a brown paper bag, and 35.3% are just plain lying.
New in the Denny's watch. In Montana two Muslim men ate at a Denny's and found pork in their meals after asking that their food be prepared separately from pork products. The manager offered them a new meal, and one accepted, only to get a large strip of bacon in the next meal. They are suing Denny's for one Million dollars each, and a written apology. This incident has prompted Denny's to change it's diversity slogan to: Diversity, it's about pretending that we don't hate you.
All for the want of a rocket launcher. Vanilla Arse was recently in lovely and scenic Oakland last month, and I wasn't informed until the night of the concert. As a result, I didn't bring the high powered weaponry necessary to remove that blight off of the face of the Earth. More's the pity. But you know what I find really strange, I was watching some music show not too long ago, and they mentioned that Vanilla Arse and M.C. Hammer had found God. During a different show, former Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Sane lackey, Vanity, is now a Reverend. Does God live in obscurity? Is that why they all find them once they become washed up?
Coming way too soon to a television near you: Steven King's Storm of the Monotony. What are the chances that it will be the same as all of his other recent books and straight to TV movies?
So what's on the Septi-Pages this month? Septi-Logic and more Rogues on About Septy. Not recommended for the for those who have strong religious beliefs, the Bastard Son of the Lord page on Links N' Stuff. St. Septimus's Day on Special. Yuppies, yuppies, yuppies on Tirade. And you can always see my back pages on Previous Septi-Pages.
See the New St. Septimus's Day greetings on Virtual
Post Cards. Also make sure to Sign my Guestbook then Read my Guestbook too. The e-mail is septy@geocities.com if you want to drop
a line.
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