So 1998 is over and a whole new year is starting.
And it only seems like 365 days have passed since the last new year.
In a year that the Magic Hour lasted about that long and Viagra
picked up the news, what else do I consider interesting about 1998?
Barbara Striesand got married to actor James Brolin. To celebrate the occasion, Sir Elton John remade his classic Good Bye Yellow Brick Road into Good-Bye Yellow Big Nose.
Mark McGuire hit 70 home runs this year, smashing the old Marris record. But strangely enough the record set by Josh Gibson in the Negro League is hardly (if ever) mentioned. Gibson hit 75 home runs in the 1931 season. It's nice to know that people are willing to ignore facts and try to pretty up our history, because we sure wouldn't want to learn anything from the past; we'd much rather repeat it.
The last Seinfeld aired, and Nancy Sinatra
didn't go to see her father in the hospital to watch it. That's love
baby.
I'd like to reflect on 1998, and to tell you what I have learned from this past year.
You can film an all-new remake of an old movie and it will still be called original. (Christopher Reeve's "original" remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window.)
You might not be able to get a gig in Hollywood, but at least you can still get arrested. (Bob Denver, aka Gilligan, arrested for possession of Marijuana.)
Sometimes you can try to teach someone a lesson by getting them where it hurts, but they still just won't learn. (Daniel Rudolph, brother of alleged bomber Eric, video taped cutting off his left hand and sent the video to the FBI as a protest to his brother being chased. Oddly enough the FBI didn't stop looking for Eric.)
If you are charged with lewd acts, you should use the incident to proclaim your gay pride to the world after years of denial, and then claim that you are a mentor for gay and lesbian youth everywhere. (George Michael caught spanking it in a men's room, and he wrote a song about it. That's how I show my gay pride.)
So next time, use those slurs, and don't be sparing
about it bucko! (Activists chastised DC Comics, publishers of Superman.
In an imaginary story, Superman was back in World War II fighting Nazis,
and during the story the ethnicity of the oppressed people were never revealed.
I guess there are some battles that even Superman can't win. Some
days it just isn't worth putting on that cape.)
What other merriment have I planned out for you? I'll show you what 1999 has in store for us in Glimpse into the Future. Who is the proud recipient of the 1998 Schmuck of the Year Award in The Golden Septy Awards? As usual you can Sign my Guestbook, or you can just Read my Guestbook, because it's just too much to ask you to take 2 minutes out of your busy schedule to drop a line.
