down by the riverbed you set your eyes on something bad
and now you know that you can never go back
tell those who laughed at you
the stories all were true
and those who don't believe will find out soon enough

was it all so bad

down by the riverbed you saw something you won't forget
and nothing can erase the vision from your mind
so now the secret's out
you know what it's about
perhaps you should have seen it coming all along

was it all so bad
so now the secret's out

If it opened up to me
would you lose your sense of timing
would it tell you as it buried you
are you happy where you are
would you rather be forgotten
I won't be the one to hurry you

when I fall, when I fall
I won't be there when you call

would you offer it to me
is it better left unknowing
I will bend before I shatter you
tell me why I'm not to blame
tell me all the dirty secrets
would it hurt you just to humor me

sober up it's just a dream
it was all imagination
it was all an imitation
it was all intimidation

if you always tell the truth
would you know if you were lying
I don't want to be the polygraph

there's something in the air
it fills my lungs and ears
it catches unaware
and dissipates the fear

but it won't make a sound
and it won't be alone
what doesn't kill us makes us curl up on the floor

so if it grabs a stone
and throws it at the man
will it be me alone
or will it take us all

if we're trapped or choose to stay
taking chances just to pray
fever runs to deep to care
let it throw itself away

given this perfect ending
to my imperfect day
I guess I found my anger
and lost my infirmity

give me something for the pain I cannot make it stop
if I throw my mind away I may end up on top
can you feel the resonance it's giving me the chills
I know it's hard to swallow when you've had your fill

silence so loud, silence so loud
everybody's making up a story for the crowd
it's resonating

are you giving in or are you laying down the track
is the thing you're looking for the thing that bit you back
do you feel the resonance it's giving me the bends
elegantly undermining everything I said

did you feel okay
did you run away
did you make me come and get you
did you lose your heart
did you fall apart
did you wonder if it was alright with me

I didn't know you felt that way
now I know and it's okay
you should have told me all along
it could have changed me

did you even cry
did you wonder why
did you think it wasn't worth it
did you just forget
did you have regrets
did you think it really was alright with me

something about ti makes it wrong
you should have told me all along

welling up inside
is the missing pride
that you thought you kept unnoticed
but eventually
even you can see
that it doesn't matter what's alright with me

do you understand or am I talking over you
just because you didn't suffer doesn't mean you're through

you're through
you didn't want me to
do you feel happy too
will I be the sorry one

sleep enough to make it happen to the bitter end
after you were taking chances all to get ahead

ahead
too slow to make amends
are you my only friend
will I be the sorry one

we've run out of things to talk about but there's plenty left unsaid
when the time erodes the feeling things are often left for dead

but do you know where the line is drawn
and do you care if we're left alone
and do you think we're better off like this

tell me if you can remember when you used to tell me all
when you didn't have to hold it back
the way you were before the fall

and I know what's best isn't always the case
but at least I can control my fate
and I wish it was that easy to change your mind

if I were anything but happy I wouldn't ask for sympathy
so if you see me in the corner I hope that you won't smile on me

I still regret what I didn't do
but now I know what it leads me to
and maybe we are better off like this
maybe we are better off like this

blackjack sits
on a chair and watched children play
throwing fits
when the boredom doesn't wash away

he didn't see me now
when he was overlooked and underpaid
he didn't feel me now
when he was everybody anyway

highball cries
when the television wants her to
telling lies
to the people who don't listen to her

she didn't see me now
when she was undermined and overpaid
she didn't feel me now
when she was everybody anyway

blackjack knows
that the special sauce is salad dressing
where he goes
isn't anybody's business but his

dirt
finds a way underneath my fingernails
dig
find my way in a hole and under fence

spoon
serve me well stainless savior
dig
underground and out of this place

but I won't get out
of my watery grave
if I don't get out
I will not be afraid

lie
on my back waiting patiently
dig
all the way to my destiny

remember what I see for now
faultline that cuts into the crowd
the end is nearer than the start
the downhill sloping it apart
decipher lies and make them true
faultline that separates me from you
the melatonin makes me sleep
the lack of sadness makes me weep

give me the foreign air of love
I need to know it's not a fraud

delight in all you were before
faultline is drawn across the floor
the retina has been attached
now you can see it sin't scratched

give me the noxious fumes of hate
I need to know if I should wait
give me the brutal fog of peace
do you remember where it is

you say I'm non-threatening
but you have known me long enough
to know the truth
they ask me why I haven't told
you how I feel or what I'm thinking
the timing was wrong

but I think I've run out of excuses now
and I think I've kept my secret long enough
and I wonder if you know I care
because I've thought about it long enough to know

do you think I could be the one for now
the anger in me is all gone for now
the aftermath has left me strong enough
and I have found my happy tone for now

I'm in the face of all I am
and I can see the face that guides me in
I don't know how I ever was
but I can put it all behind

you leave the thing that gives you life for now
you tell them it just wasn't right for now
the aftermath has made you wonder about
the choices that you fear to make for now

I will be there when it is through
and you could say that I am through with it too
I don't know why it made you sad
I just forgot to let it go

I can't see you but I feel you
from the inside like a part of me
and I miss you though we never met
and now I don't know if this is love

I can't touch you but I know you
like a question that I'm pondering
are you really who you say you are
because I don't know if this is love

did you think that it would go this far
did you think that we could feel so strong
is it fate or just coincidence
doesn't it matter
because I don't know if this is love

I can't hide it cause I like it
when I think that you might care for me
when I need you you're a click away
but now I don't know if this is love

should we make a story for our friends
should we act like this is just pretend
are we losers to be ridiculed
doesn't it matter
because I don't know if this is love

sometimes I forget to say that I'm proud of you
and although I'm not much older I have advice for you
just remember who you are and where you're going to
cause even when I can't be there I'm watching over you

I remember when we told each other stories
we were never alone

sometimes when I close my eyes I can still remember
how the shadow that I cast was longer in December
but it doesn't fall on you and it wouldn't matter
because you find a way to shine just a little brighter

I remember when we told each other stories
we were never alone

suddenly the answer is as cloudy as my eyes
but I don't need to see an empty glass to recognize
I'm in a place that I pretend I've never been
maybe I should let it out so I can let you in
line them up and I will be there putting them away
whether on the inside or the out I couldn't say
will I take a chance or will I take a fall
will I hear the call

I've been out til 3AM and I don't know where I am
I'm content to drink again
and I hope that it will stay down
oh, but it won't weigh me down

used to think that I could get away with anything
but the underside is full of holes and filled with shame
I could turn it and pretend it isn't there
but instead I try to swallow all I can
did you think I had so much that I could not recall
all the time I pushed myself against the wall
it didn't hurt me when I found out what I did
so I do it again

I've been out til 3AM and I don't know who I am
I'm content to drink again
but I don't think it will stay down
oh, but it won't weigh me down

I've been out til 3AM and I don't know what I am
I'm content to drink you in
in the hope that you might lay down
oh, but you won't weigh me down

throw it away, deal with it later
I can't remember which it is
I can't pretend you're just a stranger
maybe it's easier on you
are these new shoes walking all over you
or where the old ones feared to tread
maybe I'm lonely, maybe I'm lucky
I haven't figured it out just yet

another year older, and I should be wiser
but I'm just stupid
try it again, it will be better
don't give away the ending
are my new shoes digging into you
'cause I can walk away from this
no antidote to point the direction
I guess I lost my compass

try on another
this glass slipper's slipping
this new shoe don't fit me

Do you need a pill to make you be yourself?
Overmedicated, overwhelmed, over-diagnosed
What do the voices say?
Do you hear them when you look the other way?

Maybe I can’t see all that is given to me
And the meaning is lost in the words
If you don’t believe I’m it interchangeably
Then the meaning is all that it’s worth

You cannot concentrate, but you can act out
Frenetic, pathetic, genetic predisposition
And the voices say
Encapsulated to take all the noise away

Better give me my Ritalin

This is all I have to say
Apathy is boring, angst a bit cliché
But in the end I write my words
My eloquence is lost and I'm misunderstood
I do it again
I've had enough of being wrong
Disappointment is a sad sad song
Or so I've heard
If I sing it with emotion it seems utterly absurd
But I can fake it

Maybe I don't mean the things I feel
And you may think that what I say is real
But should I put it in a song
It's not for everyone

There are things I should have said
And there are things I should have said a little less
Or so it seems
If I write another breakup song will my life be complete
I didn't think so

Maybe I don't mean the things I feel
And you may think that what I say is real
But I don't know if I should I put it in a song
These words are not for everyone

There's more to me than that

It's so easy to fall back into the things that make you weak
But it only makes you weaker
And though self-pity may feel good for the moment
It's not worth dwelling
Even if it's selling

I have nothing left to say
But I find a way to say it anyway
I'm cynical
Words on paper mean so much but they can be so trivial
They get you nowhere

the walls are laughing at me
the floor is looking like a friend
falling up into me
is my human nature
inching closer to pretend
pulled in from over me

I didn't notice how the buildings fall and blow it all away
I guess I couldn't see you wouldn't be the one to point the way

add me to your collection
pin me down with all the rest
so I won't fly away
you didn't give up searching
once you had me in your net
pulled in from over me

I didn't notice how the world has turned and we get burned alive
I guess I couldn't see how you could be the one to tell a lie
but you told a lie

life isn't over, just high turnover, it happens over and over

I didn't notice how you loved the band but couldn't stand the sound
I guess I should have seen you wouldn't be the one to stick around
but you don't stick around