[Dead silence fills the air (except for the voices of our heroes and Britney, of course.)]

[Britney makes a hand gesture. Suddenly, a pink crystal appears next to her, with Princess Zelda/Sarah McLachlan trapped inside it.]

[Sarah seems to be speaking, but Lauryn can't hear one single word she says because the crystal that she was trapped in is made of extremely hard material.]

[She grabs an air pump (which she probably uses to inflate her boobs in case the silicone wasn't enough) and bodily grabs Ike, ready to put the air pump duct inside Ike's mouth.]

[Everyone (especially Lauryn, Sarah and Kyle) just stares at Britney. Ike becomes a little bit bigger thanks to Britney's multipurpose pump.]

[Ike becomes even bigger than before. He tries to scream: "Don't pump the baby" but the air pump duct in his mouth prevented that, of course :-)]

[Ike is now much bigger than a legal-sized basketball. His face is turning blue, but Britney pretends not to notice. As the BSB would say, "she wants it that way".]

[A Triforce symbol appears on Britney's forehead, on Sarah's right hand and on Lauryn's left hand. Ike becomes even more bloated.]

[An angry Kyle interrupts Brit, without giving her a chance to pronounce the word (which was "invincible", BTW).]

[Kyle grabs a Bombchu from the cloning machine and detonates it. He aims the bomb at Britney, who takes the pump duct off Ike's mouth. Ike stops bloating and is retrieved by Kyle.]

[The bombs connect to Britney and explode.]

[Britney gesticulates widely. The walls around her room fall off, turning the room floor into a platform. The other second-floor rooms' walls (except for the ones that connect to the outside) fall off too, revealing smaller platforms.]

[Britney blasts some fire magic at the first floor, turning it into a fire pit.]

[Each person jumps onto one of the smaller platforms, away from where Britney is standing.]

[Britney stomps the ground. The platforms which our heroes are standing on start to crumble away, but new platforms also materialize. Our heroes quickly jump to the new platforms and avoid being scorched in the fire pit.]

[Britney shoots a dark magic fireball at Lauryn.]

[Lauryn takes some Light Arrows from her knapsack. She places one arrow on her bow, aims it at Britney, and fires.]

[Seeing the opportunity to strike, Lauryn fires her Longshot (grappling hook) onto Britney's cape. The Longshot pulls her towards the platform where Britney is struggling to stand up.]

[While Brit is recovering from Lauryn's Light Arrow, she is struck repeatedly with the swordswoman's Master Sword.]

[Seconds later, Britney regains her composure. Lauryn jumps away to another platform for safety.]

[Britney flies around the room, teleporting at times to strike someone from behind. That is, until she appears in front of Lauryn with her back turned towards the swordswoman (wrong move, Brit!)]

[With the Master Sword, Lauryn sends Britney flying towards the platform where Wendy is standing. Wendy anticipates Britney's descent and gets out her boomerang.]

[Stan drills into Britney's head with the Cerebral Bore. Blood (no brain fluid this time, because Britney has no brains at all) oozes out from it. But Britney still lives......]

[With her last ounce of energy, Britney releases an energy blast powerful enough to destroy the castle. The floors begin to tremble violently and other building parts begin to crumble.]

[Our heroes jump onto the big platform.]

[Lauryn suddenly extends her right hand.]

[Chef grabs onto Lauryn's hand. Stan then grabs onto Chef's hand and the kids make a big-ass chain. At the end of the chain is the pink crystal that seals Sarah.]

[Lauryn cuts a hole through the ceiling with her sword. She flies out of the castle, dragging Chef and the kids with her. Everyone lands on an empty patch of land near the castle.]

[Britney's destruction broke the pink crystal that trapped Sarah. She walks up to the group.]

[There's an eerie, golden glow where Ganon's Castle used to be.]

[Before anyone can react, the Triforce Of Power glows more brightly. Gradually, an enormous beast with intimidating armour and coloured with vile hues of red, green and brown materializes. Britney Spears has risen again, and is more powerful than ever before. Her head is lowered.]

[Dead silence from our heroes.]

[A cold wind starts to blow.]

[Brit finally raises her head—a grotesque, distorted head with two gouged-out-looking eyes on top.]

[Kenny flinches. Lauryn and Sarah almost flinch but their respective Triforces' powers doesn't allow them to do so. Everyone else start to run away, scared.]

[Britney hurls her giant spear at Lauryn.]

[Kenny is still flinching, obviously scared by Britney's gouging eyes.]

[The Longinus Spear that Lauryn dodged flies toward Kenny. It pierces him in the heart and pummels him towards a cross-like object. Yellow blood oozes from his wound.]

[By this moment, everyone else have left the battlefield. Only Lauryn, Sarah and Britney remain.]

[Britney makes a circular motion with her hands. A ring of fire magically appears to surround the two opponents.]

[Britney's eyes begin to glow. The glow becomes an Eye Beam that knocks the Master Sword out of Lauryn's hands.]

[Lauryn whips the Biggoron Sword from her back. Britney is unfettered. Instead, she swings her arms wildly in an attempt to knock Lauryn down. Lauryn dodges all of Britney's swipes.]

[Britney continues to swipe, Lauryn continues to dodge. There is no chance whatsoever for Lauryn to strike with the Biggoron Sword.]

[Suddenly, Lauryn jumps up and lands behind Britney. She slices off Britney's tail with a clean slash from the Biggoron Sword!]

[Britney swipes at Lauryn once again. Lauryn dodges the first swipe, but the second connects. The impact of Britney's blow sends Lauryn crashing into the ground. Britney picks up Lauryn's motionless body with one hand and grips it HARD.]

[Britney continues to grip Lauryn relentlessly. Just when everything seems hopeless, a brilliant flash of light appears in the sky.]

[Britney spins to find Sarah staring straight at her.]

[The paralyzed Britney drops Lauryn from her clutches.]

[Britney wants to kill Sarah, but obviously can't because she's paralyzed. So she looks around the battlefield—to find Steve Case and Ike waiting for her.]

[Steve says nothing, but points to a small hill. Seconds later, Ash Ketchum comes out behind it with his Pikachu.]

[Steve sets Ike at his foot. Afterwards, he gives Ike a swift kick that sends him flying towards Britney. Ike fires a fast but steady stream of pee on Britney's eyes when he reaches her ugly face.]

[Cut to Ash and Pikachu. They're also in for a little payback of their own.]

[With a look of determination on his face, Pikachu leaps at Britney. Light sparks start to appear from Pikachu's cheeks and tail.]

[Pikachu releases a powerful stream of thunder, which strikes Britney and sends her reeling into her own ring of fire.]

[Cut to Lauryn. She braves Britney's fire ring to retrieve her Master Sword, re-entering the ring about the same time Brit crashes her way into it.]

[Lauryn charges full-speed ahead at Britney and slashes with the Master Sword. Her attack connects with Britney's waist, effectively chopping Britney into two halves. Blood drips out from each half.]

[But wait! Britney survives Lauryn's attack AGAIN and has regained her senses! (Well, what do you expect from someone who "trips over a cupcake on the floor and falls down hard" yet "stands back up again in perfectly good condition, batting her eyelashes during the whole time"?) And she's STEAMING!!]

[Britney rips open her ample chestplates (due to augmentation, of course), revealing two giant, pulsating, gooey, jelly-like globes inside. This is preparation for her ultimate attack—the Mega Smasher. (Click here to see what the Mega Smasher looks like.)]

[Cut to a nearby mountain. The kids and Chef peer behind it to see Britney open her Mega Smashers. A big discussion ensues.]

[Cut to Britney. She stares in the direction of the mountain where Chef and the kids are hiding.]

[Cut to Chef and the kids as they scurry back behind the mountain.]

[Cut to Britney, Lauryn, and Sarah.]

[Britney's Mega Smashers begin to glow with a blue light. She starts singing an alternate version of BOMT in an eerie voice.]

[A powerful, blue, seizure-inducing beam is emitted from Britney's Mega Smashers.]

[The beam blitzes towards the ground. Lauryn runs up to the beam, draws the Master Sword, and prepares to strike.]

[Lauryn holds her Master Sword with two hands. A red energy beam is summoned from the legendary sword.]

[Lauryn's Beam Attack holds its own with Britney's Mega Smasher. After several seconds of tug-of-war, the red beam pushes Britney's own attack towards her.]

[Combined with her own Mega Smasher, the Beam Attack crashes towards Britney—right in her Mega Smasher sockets!!]

// KAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! //

[A magnificent explosion ensues. Sparks, light and debris fly everywhere. Britney Jeau Spears now truly lives up to her nickname—"Bit-Bit"—thanks to Lauryn Hill's Beam Attack.]

[Cut to the mountain where Chef and co. are hiding. Everyone is cheering, Austin Powers-style, after witnessing Britney's final destruction.]

[Cut to the battlefleld, where Lauryn and Sarah stands.]

[It's not over yet, Sarah; we still have our epilogue......]