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FULL NAME: Hatem Ekram Zayed DATE OF BIRTH: 30th August 1979 STAR SIGN: Virgo PLACE OF BIRTH: A Hospital (Egypt) HEIGHT: 6 ft 0 ins EYES: Brown, like my skin DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Curly hair wig, official Cameron clan tattoo on left ass cheek. WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE A DISTRACTION? Love IN A PREVIOUS LIFE: Toured all throughout the south with the Tucker d'Eon Band. Played the washboard and often filled in on drums and harmonica. Their biggest hit was East Coast Girls. FIRST CONTACT WITH THE OTHER DISTRACTIONS: "Jeff Gay on the baseball field in Grade 5. I was pitching a no-hitter trying to impress Rolene Pryor and then Jeff stepped up to bat and knocked one out of the park. That's why they're so deeply in love." STATED AMBITION: To be the guitarist for MA$E and to bring back the Windjammers and coach them to victory. FLABBERGASTING TIDBIT: Openly cried during Titanic. PERFECT WOMAN SHOULD BE: A fan of Inspector Gadget and resemble a Spice Girl DECLARED BABE IS: Ally McBeal or Liv Tyler SEAN ON HATEM: "Hatem is one of the greatest guys I know. He's actually my long lost brother from Egypt and we're both illegitimate children of none other than James Bond. The first band I was ever in was with Hatem. We were called Cameron And Zayed, and we played folk songs about not wearing guitar straps. We've developed a sitcom for HBO that we hope to have picked up. It's like The Odd Couple except we physically fight each other and supervillians. He's the real genius behind it. I haven't been funny since 1995. But with Ekram, it's nothing but non stop hilarity. He's a real renaissance man. Much like Jeff's uncle Pete." |
FAVOURITE ALBUMS: 1. Abbey Road -The Beatles 2. Over-Nite Sensation -Frank Zappa 3. Appetite For Destruction -Guns N' Roses 4. Remain In Light -Talking Heads 5. Songs In The Key of Life -Stevie Wonder 6. Blood and Chocolate -Elvis Costello 7. The Cars -The Cars 8. Toys in the Attic -Aerosmith 9. Stand! -Sly and the Family Stone 10. Elastica -Elastica FAVOURITE MOVIES: 1. A Clockwork Orange 2. Goodfellas 3. Die Hard 4. Back to the Future 5. The Godfather 6.A View to a Kill 7. Return Of The Jedi 8. Creepshow 9. A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors 10. Short Circuit FAVOURITE TV SHOWS: 1. Seinfeld 2. Who's Line is it Anyway? 3. The Kids in the Hall 4. Law & Order 5. Just Shoot Me ON GRADE 5: What a pivotal year in my education. Sharing a class with Cam and Gay opened my eyes, although it was years later before I discovered my true heritage. Cam and his TMNT Cards, Gay and his babysitter, the awesome hat, and of course, who could forget the heinous portable robbery that we solved?" ON RUBBER DUCK: "I believe it was either God or Jesus who wrote this song. Because Lord knows no white man could. The lyrics are the closest thing to gospel I've ever heard. It's like sugar on your tongue: Sweet." ON RODNEY: "Not the shiniest nickel in the bunch. The bain of fair Colby Village hails from Aspenway, lacks proper hygeine." ON APOJO: "Apple on a stick." |