So let it be that the great Dance of the Cosmos goes on
uninterrupted. So let it be that the Song of All will be sung forevermore. To the eternal, we commend the
eternal. From the finite, the infinite. To mark a passing, that which will endure. To mark a beginning,
that which has no end. Through mortality, everlasting life has come. Such has been written. Such shall be.
-Translation of ancient carvings on the Spire
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The Spire
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That's right. This is the Spire. The one and only place to hear yours truly, Roland Foxx, ramble on and on
and on about something or another. So, without further ado, on to my ramblings!
My Pet Keychain
Well, after many moons of curiously searching and patiently waiting, I finally got a very nice little birthday
surprise. It appears that someone deemed it time that I come into possession of a Tamagotchi, probably
the best of the various forms of the Virtual Pets out there. What makes a Tamagotchi different from the
other pets on the market? For starters, depending on how you treat your Tamagotchi, it can grow up
to be one of many different kinds of adult critters, each with their own specific traits, bedtimes, etc. In fact,
if you are lucky enough or skilled enough, your Tamagotchi might turn into one of the many secret characters
hidden within the tiny keychain game. So, I figured it would be a trip to have a Tamagotchi. So I plunked
down some soft-earned cash (it was my birthday, after all), chose an egg design that I liked (I got the "Urban Commando"
Tamagotchi, apparently, the egg is decorated with white and grey and black splotches like city camoflauge), and
set down to parenting.
Well, boy howdy was I in for a surprise. You see, for the most part, Tamagotchis(hereon referred to as Tams)
are relatively unassuming little critters. You can literally wander off for hours and they'll sit quietly, doing
whatever it is that cyberpets do to pass the time. Then again, sometimes you can't. Either way, it's your
responsibility to make sure that your Tam stays well-fed, happy, and disciplined. You also have to give
it medicine when it gets sick, and clean up after it defecates. Unlucky me, I soon found out that I had
apparently managed to purchase the only known Tamagotchi to come with a built in case of dysentery,
but I will tell about the joys of Tamapoop later. The main focus of the game is to keep the 3 sets of gauges
that tell how full, happy, and disciplined your Tam is as high as possible. To this end, you can feed, play
with, and scold your pet. Of course, you're only supposed to scold your pet when he misbehaves, like
not eating when he's hungry, not playing when he isn't very happy, or beeping at you for no reason.
It's probably a good thing that it isn't recommended that you scold your Tam when he leaves a mess,
or I would probably have the most disciplined (and unhappy) Tam on the face of the planet...
Which brings me to the joys of Tamapoop. My personal Tam is a Tamapoop factory. It doesn't take
long at all after he wakes up to begin producing his first piles of excrement. I fear that eventually
the rubber duck (that signifies cleanup) will burn out...I'm forced to use it so much. Worse than that is
the happy little expression that your Tam wears after relieving himself. Yes, the Tam is quite proud of
himself for producing that massive pile of Tamapoop. The only time he seems to look happier is when
you come along and clean it up for him...which is at least relatively simple.
But, the most insidious thing of all about the Tams is that THEY KNOW WHEN YOU SLEEP. While each
phase of a Tam's growth has a specific bedtime and wake-up time, be warned if your sleep cycles don't
coincide with his. As evidence, I present to you my own story of how the Tam knew when I was asleep...
Lucky me, one of my classes had been cancelled and, seeing as how I nothing else to do, I headed for
home, where I laid down on the couch to read for a bit. Well, it was a dreary day, and the house was so
warm and cozy, how could I avoid nodding off? Of course, it didn't last for long...the Tam, sensing I was
asleep, almost immediately let out it's piercing (Bee-Boooop,Bee-Booooop), signifying that it needed something.
Having seen that, I checked the health gauge for any problems. Finding none, I scolded my Tam soundly
and returned to my nap, still shaken a bit by the fact that the blasted toy had waited until I'd gone to
sleep to make that infernal racket.
So, to anyone thinking of buying a Tam, beware! They are fun, they're kinda cute, and they make a really
great distraction. But, they're also a lot of trouble. Speaking of which, it's time for me to fly again, my Tam
has once again made himself very proud...
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Words of Wisdom from that eternal spout of soothsayings...or at least an
eternal spout of something, Roland
Foxx. A whole boatload of benevolence heaped upon the folks at Geocities
for providing free disk space and e-mail. Want your own? Go talk to them.
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