He shakes his head. He had been planning on buying the CD, but right now, it wasn't exactly what he was looking for, placing the plastic box back in its place.

Lifting his eyes slightly, his gaze wonders all around the room. Him and the guys had a couple of hours off and so, they had decided to do some shopping. After finishing their shopping, they were going to go right to the small meet-&-greet they had for a magazine.

Walking down the corridor, he stops in front of yet another CD that called his attention. Picking it up as well, he looks at it.

"You said you didn't like Jewel when I showed you the CD."

Nick bites back his sigh as he hears the voice. He really doesn't want to turn around, knowing what the older man wanted to talk about.

"Well," Brian says, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "if you wanna buy it, then I'm going to hold it against you."

Nick finally turns around, blue eyes staring at very similar blue ones. He shakes his head. He isn't in the mood for this.

"I'm not even sure if I wanna buy it."

"Yeah, well, I show you my CD and you trash it and then decide it's not that bad after all?" Brian has one eyebrow crocked, his head tilted. "That's not good Nick."

Nick shakes his head. "Cut it out Brian."

"What?" Brian asks defensively, his hands lifted in mid air, palms opened. "I didn't say anything."

Now it's Nick's turn to crock an eyebrow. "You don't need to say anything. I know the way your brain works."

Brian chuckles. "You're being paranoid."

But Nick knows he isn't. Ever since yesterday when he decided that carrying that secret by himself probably wasn't the best option and told Brian, the older man had been trying to get back to the subject.

Nick doesn't want to talk about it. He told Brian, sure, but he doesn't think the healthiest thing to do is to talk about it every time there's the chance. But Brian seems to differ in that. He's worried about Nick. He's worried about Nick and wants him not to suffer.

Brian sobers up. "Nick..."

Nick shakes his head. "Not now Brian, all right? Really. Not now."

Staring at Nick for a moment, Brian says, "I just..."

"I know what you want, but I don't wanna talk about it."

He frowns. "I'm worried."

Nick nods. "I know."

He looks at his friend for another moment. "Sure."

Giving the older man a small smile, Nick turns around and continues going through the boxes very much like AJ two rows behind. AJ picks up the latest Alanis Morriset album, coming to the conclusion that he also wants to buy this one. Placing it on top of his seven CD tower, he continues walking.

"Hey," Howie's voice draws his attention, turning around to see the older man. "Look at this. Aerosmith's newest album," he says, showing the CD case to AJ. Howie smiles at him. "I'm gonna buy it."

"It could be cool. Jaded it's a great song."

"Yeah, I know. That's what called out to me. I really wanna hear what else it's in the album."

AJ nods, not really hearing him.

Frowning, Howie looks -- really looks -- at his friend. He's spacing out. Again. AJ is just staring at a lost point somewhere only he can see it. Shacking his head, he lets out a sigh. This isn't the first time Alex does that. Since Wednesday, it was plain obvious that AJ's mind was somewhere else. Perhaps it was only plain obvious to those who knew the reason behind it, since neither of the rest of the guys had asked about it.

"J?"

Blinking, Alex turns around, his brown eyes hidden behind the dark glasses barely focusing on the face of his old friend. "Yeah?"

Howie shakes his head once again. It felt futile to ask Alex about the reasons behind his lack of attention. "Nothing." But it wasn't nothing. It was anything except nothing. For the past three days AJ had been thinking and wondering about the whole issue with Kevin, Howie knew that. Yesterday, he had been so worried about it, he had barely said two words during the interview. Usually, AJ was all stamina. And if that hadn't been enough, Kevin's answer to the girl's question had only upset him even more. He had spent half their trip to the stores talking with Howie about it. Oh, and during the concert, he had missed his cue more than once. The guys were bound to notice that at one point. No one was that blind.

"Actually," Howie says after having thought about it better, "there's something."

"What?" Alex asks, turning around once again, his eyes moving from one CD cover to the other. He wants to buy something. He knows that. He feels it. He just wants to do something he can control, he can choose, he can decide.

"You have to calm down."

"What are you talking about?"

Howie places his hand on AJ's chin, forcing the younger man to turn around and gaze at him. "You're worrying too much. You're going to give yourself a stroke."

AJ shakes his head, pulling away from the grasp. "I'm fine."

"No you're not. You're not fine when you're thinking about this 24/7"

"Somebody has to do something."

"We can't." Pinching the bridge of his nose, Howie closes his eyes slightly. "Don't you think I wish the same thing?" Opening them slowly, he stares at his friend. "I wanna help him just as much you do."

"I know."

He places his arm around AJ's shoulders. "We just have to wait and see what happens."

AJ only nods, looking up at the ceiling the very same way Kevin was looking at the end of the hallway. He shakes his head, getting rid of the cobwebs that seemed to haunt his thoughts. Shutting his eyes tightly, Kevin lets out a long sigh. He opens them and darting his focus from one CD cover to the other. There were so many, it felt like he was going to get dizzy.

It surprised him how things change. He's twenty-nine years old and he couldn't even decide on buying a damn CD without getting lost in his own thoughts first. It's so frustrating. He knows he had to get his act together. He has to face his life, his world, and just deal with it. He doesn't have time to regret the things he didn't have. He had more things in his short lived life, than most people ever achieve in their lives.

But he didn't have one thing most people did have, and that was love.

And the most frustrating and taunting side of this is, he has to accept, the fact that the person he loves was only two rows away from him.

He shakes his head, picking up a CD of Sarah McLachlan. He doesn't even check the title of the album, he barely even acknowledges the author. He just takes it so he can feel something has been accomplished this last hour.

He has to stop thinking about this, he knows. He has to relax, take a breath and enjoy the best years of his career, he tells himself. He has to enjoy his life. But it isn't that simple. Somehow, it isn't that simple.

Kevin knows he can get over this... thing. He can. He's done it before. Ok, so maybe those times the love he felt for the person wasn't as great as it is now, but he knows he could achieve that. If only he didn't have to see the object of his affection on a daily basis.

But that's not gonna happen. They've got a very busy schedule for the next four months and even after that, the guys don't know if they wanna take a hiatus. That would be good. Not only for him on a personal matter, but for the five of them as individuals. They could be themselves and not a group. They could be persons before being a gang. That could help them.

And him. That could actually give him the time necessary to deal with this... thing and maybe even control it enough so he can function in his work.

However if they did take a hiatus, it won't be for another year. A year. Suddenly three hundred and sixty five days seemed like forever. A lifetime. And it was. For someone hurting inside, it was more than just minutes and hours placed together. It was an infinite number of sunsets.

Checking his watch, Kevin realizes it's getting late. They have just the time to make it to meeting arranged on time. It's always fun when a magazine organizes a meet-&-greet with the fans.

"Guys!," he calls out, walking over to the cashier. "Lets get going."

The rest of the guys follow. They each have around two or three CDs in their hands, except for AJ who has seven or so. Kevin doesn't think much about it. AJ had always been a shopping freak. If anyone likes buying just for the pleasure of buying and spending money, that's him. Kevin only has the CD he has in his hand. He pays for it as well, not even seeing the name of the artist.

They walk out of the store, their bodyguards waiting for them outside. Not saying a word, they walk towards the parking lot, getting on the van.

Reaching the hotel takes more than expected, giving the shopping bags to the guards so they can place them in the hotel rooms while the guys make their way to the conference room in the hotel.

They walk in, three interviewers and twenty-five girls already waiting for the five guys.

Introductions are made and the girls try their best to bite back the screams and tears. They are so happy about seeing the guys; it's visible. Groups are quickly made as each girl have their favorite boy.

"What's your name little one?" Kevin asks at a little girl who couldn't be more than seven.

The girl blushes, hiding her face behind her hand. "Vanessa," she whispers.

Kevin scrunches before her, placing his index finger under her chin, making her turn around so he can look into her beautiful baby blue eyes. So very similar to...

Kevin shakes his head. It's neither the time nor the place. "I'm Kevin. Aren't you a little too young to be here?"

"Not really," another girl says, coming up from behind her. She smiles rather embarrassed at him. She's hyper on the excitement. He can tell by the way her eyes dance. "I had to get her here or she would have killed me. She likes you almost as much as I do. She would spend all her money in merchandise if mom gave her any."

"I'm guessing you're her sister." Kevin says with a smile.

She nods. "Yep. Sarah. And if I may say this without sounding too much of a teenybopper -- even though my friend Grace and I call them Twinkies and she's going to kill me because I got to meet you guys up close and personal and she didn't -- you guys are great. You're such great singers; I'm still shocked you haven't won a Grammy yet. The only reason you haven't is because you sing pop and are young. I'm telling you, if you all were like... twenty years older and singing ballads, your bookshelves would have been filled with megaphones by now."

Kevin blinks -- surprised -- at her eloquence and almost none nervousness. "Thank you."

Laughing softly, she nods again. "Anytime. And I'm not the only one who thinks that." She pauses, frowning slightly. "Now," she continues, "before I loose your attention and you start talking with another girl, can I get a picture?"

"Sure. Does your sister know how to take one?"

"No," she says, shaking her head. "As much as I'd love to have my picture taken with you, I was hoping you'd let me take one of you and Nick."

Kevin frowns, stunned. She's got to be kidding, right? Is he so transparent? No. It couldn't be. He was probably only being paranoid. That had to be it. That stupid sense of persecution. "Hmmm..."

"Please. It won't take long," she bats her baby blue at him, reminding Kevin of a person who used to do just that whenever he wanted to play some Nintendo. And just like back then, Kevin can't refuse.

"I'll ask." And he does just that. Walking over to where Nicky is signing an autograph to a little girl who's on verge of crying, he places his hand on Nick's shoulder. "Sorry to interrupt," Kevin says politely. "But a girl wants to see if she can take a picture of the two of us."

Nick is obviously as flabbergasted as he's blinking slowly. "The two of us?"

Kevin nods. "Yeah. It won't take long and she's really adamant about it."

Shrugging, he finishes the signing, giving the girl a peck on the cheek before he stands up and walks over with Kevin. Nick can take a pretty wild guess at who this girl is, as he sees a girl about fifteen years old jumping up and down, a smaller girl, looking at the teenager like she lost her mind.

"Nick," Kevin says, "this is Vanessa and the bouncing one is Sarah."

"Hi," Nick says rather shyly.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It won't take long. I promise."

Nick nods at her as Kevin chuckles at the girl's enthusiasm. They stand side by side as Sarah takes a couple of steps back, camera in hand, squinting to get a better look.

Kevin, feeling a little daring, and why not, places his arm around Nick's shoulder, pulling the blond to his side.

Sarah bites back the scream, not really wanting to sound like a crazy girl. She could do that in her place, with Grace, when she shows her the picture. Oh God. Grace was gonna flip. A picture. Tangible prove. She sure was gonna flip.

"Great!" She only says. More than great, of course. Amazing. Down right fantastic. And it feels like she's running out of adjectives.

Nick's eyes widen, trying to get some air into his lungs. All of the attention of the room is drawn to them. The guys stop their signing and talking, turning around to look at the two of them. The girl, too, turns around, her eyes focusing on the two guys waiting to have their picture taken.

More than one, being as witless as kids their age and fanatic about something are, got their cameras in hand and run to Sarah's side, getting ready to get a picture of their own as well.

"Ready?" Sarah asks when she sees the two of them smiling their sweetest smiles at her. Gosh. It was so the 100-Hour Tour all over again for her. But this picture is going to be better. She doesn't really know how a picture can beat the one of Nick in his over coat and Kevin on the leather coat, but this one is. She knows that.

Suddenly, the flashes start going off, many girls taking more than just one picture in case something was to happen to that one. The guys keep on smiling. Nick continues forcing himself to breath, his heart racing so fast in his chest, he was sure that if it hadn't been for flashes, the whole would have been able to hear it. Kevin only presses his hand a little bit tighter on Nick's shoulder, pulling the blond closer.

But the moment, like any other one, ends too soon, as the girls finish their pictures. The guys pull apart, each one dazed on the moment. Sarah lets out a content sigh. She has accomplished it. She has done it. Smiling, she closes her camera. It hasn't taken her as much as she would have thought, and she hasn't died on the spot, so everything was good.

"Thank you guys," she says as she walks towards them. "You've been the nicest ever. I really appreciate it."

Kevin smiles at her. "Don't worry. It was nothing."

She nods at his polite response. "Thank you," she adds, taking her little sister's hand in hers, making her way over to Brian. Too much of those two and she just might pass out. And she sure doesn't want that. Not in this lifetime. Not after this.

Nick nods, more to himself than anything. "I better..." he trails off, walking over to where the girls he had been talking too were waiting for him.

Kevin nods as well, letting out a small sigh, smiling to himself. It would be a nice picture. After that, the meet-&-greet doesn't mean much to Kevin. He walks more like in a daze through it, his mind still in the picture. He wishes there was a way he could see it. Maybe if he had asked her for her phone number. Nah. Too farfetched. How is one to explain the reason behind wanting to have a picture taken by a fan?

When the gathering ends, the girls are let out of the room. Kevin's eyes search for Sarah. Finally, just before she turns around and onto the hallway, he meets her beautiful baby blue. She smiles at him, and he smiles back. It was going to be a nice picture indeed.

Tired themselves, the guys make their way to their rooms. They each say their good-byes. However, Brian calls out for Nick.

He turns around, letting out a long sigh. "Brian--" He knows what Brian wants to talk about and, after today, he doesn't want to even think about that.

Brian shakes his head. "It's not that. Just wait here for a second." Before Nick can complain, Brian disappears behind his door, returning barely a minute later with a CD in hand. "Since you didn't buy it, I just thought I'd lend you the album so you could check it out. If you don't like, then you know that before buying it."

Nick takes the CD from him, looking at it. "Pieces of you" by Jewel. He shrugs. "Thanks."

"Sure. Good night."

He nods, walking over to his room. He places the box on top of the TV. He takes off his clothes, thinking about the meet-&-greet and the picture. How can a picture affect someone like that? He doesn't know and he's sure he'll never find out. He was just... excited about it. He liked it. Very much. He liked the way Kevin placed his arm around his shoulders.

Nick shakes his head. It's late and he has to sleep, not think about possibilities and probabilities. Pulling down the covers, Nick's eyes fall onto the TV. The CD. He still had the curiosity in him on how she sounded.

Wondering what the hell, he walks over and places the CD on the stereo system. He skips through the first three tracks. They sound nice. She's got a very cool voice, he has to admit. But as the first accords of the song start, he stands quietly and listens.

Please don't say I love you,
those words touch me much too deeply and they make my core tremble.
Don't think you realize the effect you have over me.
And please don't look at me like that,
it just makes me want to make you near me always.

He's speechless.

And please don't kiss me so sweet,
it makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
And please don't touch me like that,
it makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
And please don't come so close,
it just makes me want to make you near me always.

Her voice, the lyrics. Everything touches him. He closes his eyes shut, choking up as he draws some air into his suddenly empty lungs.

Please don't bring me flowers,
they only whisper the sweet things you'd say
Don't try to understand me,
your hands already know too much anyway
It just makes me want to make you near me always.

He lets his head fall down, his forehead against the stereo. He bits his lower lip.

And when you look in my eyes,
please know my heart is in your hands
It's nothing that I understand,
but when in your arms you have complete power over me.

It's so beautiful. The song is so beautiful.

So be gentle if you please 'cause your hands are in my hair,
but my heart is in your teeth, baby
And it makes me want to make you near me always.

He shakes his head, his heart aching. This wasn't the time to get like this, to hear a song like this. Not after today. Not after the picture.