Cradle of Hope: No babies were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Prometheus: Iolaus was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Green Egg Men went to live long and prosperous lives.
Death in Chains: No Unabating or Severely Punishing Deities were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Hooves and Harlots: No males, Centaurs or Amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts: No Oversized Polynesian-Style Bamboo Horses were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many wicker lawn chairs gave their lives.
Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards: The producers would like to acknowledge and pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick, Kirk Douglas and all those who were involved with the making of the film classic 'SPARTACUS.' Additional thanks to Steve Reeves.
A Fistful of Dinars: No Ambrosia was Spilled, Spoiled or in any way harmed during the production of this motion picture. (Thanks to the indefinite shelf life of marshmallows.)
Warrior... Princess: Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Mortal Beloved: No Winged Harpies were harmed or sent to a fiery grave during the production of this motion picture.
The Royal Couple of Thieves: No Ancient and Inflexible Rules governing moral behavior were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
The Prodigal: Meleager the Mighty, the generally Tipsy and Carousing warrior-For-Hire, was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Altered Stated: No Unabating or Severely Punishing Deities were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Ties That Bind: No Fathers, Spiritual or Biological, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
The Greater Good: Excessive belching can cause brain damage and social ostracism. Kids, please don't give in to peer pressure. Play it Safe.
Callisto: Joxers nose was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, his crossbow was severely damaged.
Death Mask: No messenger doves were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several are reportedly missing in action and search-and-rescue efforts are under way.
Is There a Doctor in the House?: Being that war is hell, lots of people were harmed during the production of this motion picture (but since television is a dramatic medium of make believe, all casualties removed their prosthetic make-up and went home unscathed).