Adventures in the Sin Trade I: No Dead Amazons lost their lives in the production of this motion picture.
Adventures in the Sin Trade II: Xena's search for Gabrielle was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
A Family Affair: No Spike-Skinned, Beast-Like, Incredibly Hungry Offspring who can't stand the sun were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
In Sickness And in Hell: No Leapin' Lice were beaten, whipped, smashed or scratched during the production of this motion picture.
A Good Day: No permanent battle scars were inflicted during the production of this motion picture.
Tale of Two Muses: No Self-Righteous Magistrates intent on surpressing the basic human right of freedom of expression were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Locked Up and Tied Down: No Rabid Flesh Eating Crabs were cooked during the production of this motion picture.
Crusader: Xena's best chewing tooth was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Past Imperfect: Borias' goose was cooked during the production of this motion picture.
Paradise Found: Paradise was found but not necessarily embraced during the production of this motion picture.
The Key to the Kingdom: No Priceless Porkers, of either organic or ceramic origin, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Daughter of Pomira: No blonde-haired, blue-eyed Horde girls or their extended families were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Lakota toti. Bonai. Soli bonai. ["People all. Good. Only good." in a Sioux/Latin pidgin OR "No fight. No war. Family." in Pomiran]
If the Shoe Fits: No Fractured Fables were harmed in the production of this motion picture.
Devi: In memory of Women's Best Friend: Bear, Dodger, Kali, Samantha, Taffy, Bear.
Between the Lines: Xena's Chakram got Gabrielle by the short hairs during the production of this motion picture.
The Way: Any similarities between Hanuman and a major character in the motion picture classic "Planet of the Apes" is purely coincidental.
The Play's the Thing: Although no great literary works of art were harmed or plagiarised, a few thespians stole some scenes during the production of this motion picture.
The Convert: Argo's gastronomical condition was cleared up upon the completion of this motion picture.
Takes One to Know One: Argo was once again proven innocent during the production of this motion picture.
End Game: Pompey's reign came to a head during the production of this motion picture.
Ides of March: Xena and Gabrielle were killed during the production of this motion picture.
Deja Vu All Over Again: No Sword-Wielding, Card-Playing, Therapy-Seeking French Freedom Fighters were deflowered during the production of this motion picture. However, rumors of Custer and Pocahontas remain unconfirmed.