Critics One

	Stephen and Hugh are sitting in swivel chairs, with 
	haircuts. They look and sound nearly as revoltingly 
	smug, smarmy and unpleasant as real critics.


Hugh		Simon Clituris, you watched that sketch ... I
		assume you were disappointed?

Stephen		Well frankly, I thought it was predictable.

Hugh		You predicted it, did you?

Stephen		Absolutely, and I think that's why it was
		predictable. Their choice of targets was
		predictable ...

Hugh		Estate agents ...

Stephen		Where?

Hugh		The target of that last sketch was estate agents.

Stephen		I didn't notice that.

Hugh		And of course their choice of language was
		predictable ...

Stephen		Precisely. English was a sadly predictable language
		for them to have chosen.

Hugh		Which is a shame.

Stephen		A great shame. If you don't speak it.

Hugh		A bigger shame if you do.

Stephen		Hahaha.

Hugh		Hahahaha.

Stephen		But I suppose one could have predicted it.

Hugh		I suppose so. Can you predict what their next
		sketch will be?

Stephen		Oh lord, yes. A parody of "Treasure Island".
		Bound to be.

	Cut to something that is as far from being a parody of 
	Treasure Island as is emotionally possible.

Hugh		I can remember exactly what I was
		doing when I heard the news. I
		was listening to the news.