Troubleshooters

	Stephen and Hugh are being dramatic businessmen.


Hugh		Calm down John, we're not going to get
		anywhere ...

Stephen		Don't tell me to calm down. Dammit Peter, I want
		answers, and I want them fast.

Hugh		Answers? A bit late for all that, don't you think?
		(Drinks)

Stephen		What the hell's happened to you Peter? You know
		as well as I do, there's no such word as "a bit late
		for all that".

Hugh		Agreed.

Stephen		So shoot. What've we got?

Hugh		Marjorie wants control of Derwent Enterprises,
		and from where I'm sitting, she's going to get it.

Stephen		Marjorie? Jesus, Peter, Marjorie's just a kid.

Hugh		Tell that to the board.

Stephen		Watch me. I might just do that. (Drinks)

Hugh		Good luck to you.

Stephen		Meaning?

Hugh		They'll laugh in your face, John. Like they did me.
		Marjorie's got them eating out of her hand.

Stephen		Alright. Then I'll go to old man Derwent himself.

Hugh		Come off it John. No one's even spoken to old
		man Derwent in years. The man's a recluse. It's
		hopeless I tell you. Marjorie's won. And she hasn't
		even fired a shot. (Drinks)

Stephen		Listen to me, Peter. Marjorie may have won the
		war, but she hasn't won the battle.

Hugh		Dammit John, you're up to something. I've seen
		that look before.

Stephen		You're damn right I'm up to something.

Hugh		Dammit.

Stephen		What?

Hugh		What are you up to?

Stephen		Something. I'm up to something.

Hugh		I thought so.

Stephen		I want you on my team for this, Peter.

Hugh		Dammit John, I'm yours, you know that.

Stephen		I haven't finished. It's absolutely mandatory that
		you buy into my way of working. Things could get
		a little hairy in the next forty-eight. (Drinks)

Hugh		You know me, John. Hairy is as hairy does.

Stephen		Good to hear. Call O'Neill for me, will you? Get
		him to postpone the meeting.

Hugh		What shall I tell him? (Drinks)

Stephen		(Shouting) Tell him any damn thing you like - just
		buy me some time!

Hugh		Dammit John, it's good to have you back.

Stephen		You'd better save the pretty speeches for later,
		Peter, we've a long night ahead of us. (Drinks)

Hugh		Just like old times, eh, John?

Stephen		Sure, Peter, sure.

Hugh		(Dialling) You know it's funny. I drove through
		High Wycombe just the other day ... (into phone)
		Hello? Peter here. Get me O'Neill.

Stephen		And fast.

Hugh		And fast. (pause) Say again? Dammit.

Stephen		What?

Hugh		O'Neill's out of town and can't be reached.

Stephen		Dammit to hell and back.

Hugh		Right. Damn blast and double damn.

Stephen		Damn.

Hugh		Want me to try Amsterdam?

Stephen		No.

Hugh		But ...

Stephen		Come on Peter, you're not thinking straight.
		Amsterdam's too obvious. Marjorie was never
		obvious. That's why I loved her.

Hugh		(Drinks) By God here's a turn-up. I never thought
		I'd hear an old warhorse like you talk about love.

Stephen		Love's nothing to be afraid of, Peter. You don't
		need a Harvard MBA to know that the bedroom
		and the boardroom are just two sides of the same
		ballgame. I wonder -

Hugh		Try me. Shoot.

Stephen		Put it together. A block of part-paid ordinaries
		funnelled through Geneva. A carefully staged
		release of IDL preference stock through the back
		door underpinned by a notional rights issue.
		Who'll be wincing then? (Drinks)

Hugh		Dammit John, it's starting to add up. Want me to
		try Sydney?

Stephen		Come on Peter, stay awake. He'll be in Australia
		by now.

Hugh		Dammit sideways. Wait a minute. Will they trace it
		back to us?

Stephen		A ploy like that? It'll have Seagrove's handwriting
		all over it, Peter.

Hugh		And back again. But that still leaves us with
		Marjorie.

Stephen		Dammit.

Hugh		(Whispered mysteriously) What's she after?

Stephen		No point in asking that, Peter. I gave up trying to
		understand Marjorie a long time ago.

Hugh		Yeah. Women.

Stephen		Marjorie isn't women, Peter.

Hugh		No, of course not, John. Forgive me. I meant no
		offence.

Stephen		Something I've always wondered. How did you
		keep Nancy so long?

Hugh		I've never been Nancy, John.

Stephen		No, your wife.

Hugh		Oh Nancy. You know. Rough with the smooth. You
		work at it. Do your best. Never enough time. Keep
		on grafting, long hours, you think you know but
		of course you don't, cover all the angles, they talk
		about stress, I tell them I'm married to it.

Stephen		Am I right in thinking that you have a daughter?

Hugh		Yup. Henrietta.

Stephen		Did he? Did he really? That must have hurt. Hurt
		like hell on a jetski.

Hugh		You never had kids of your own, I believe?

Stephen		You're wrong, Peter. You're so wrong.

Hugh		Oh. I beg your pardon.

Stephen		We're sitting in my children at this moment.

Hugh		I may have misheard that, John.

Stephen		The company, Peter.

Hugh		Oh right.

Stephen		I gave everything to this company. (Suddenly
		shouting) Dammit New York should have rung
		by now.

Hugh		Relax, John. It's still early.

Stephen		I know, Peter. But It's not going to stay early
		for long.

	Stephen goes to the window.

Hugh		New York'll come through, John. I know they will.

Stephen		(Looking out of the window) I hope so. There are six
		million people out there, Peter.

Hugh		Really? What do they want?

Stephen		Who knows? Peter?

Hugh		Yeah.

Stephen		I say we go with it.

Hugh		Agreed.

Stephen		If New York rings, we give them affirmative.

Hugh		I'll tell Susan.

Stephen		Now let's get the hell out of here.

Hugh		Sure?

Stephen		Yeah. I don't think even we two can sustain this
		level of high intensity work without coming down
		for a space.

Hugh		Dammit you're right.

Stephen		Besides, I could use a drink.