Before the Reform
by Julia
Based on a true story
. . . .

CHAPTER 1
“A Score to Settle”

When my father, Robert Eugene, was a kid, he was a bad boy. Being part of a strictly Catholic family, he didn’t do anything really drastic, but he was known to be a champion practical-joker. One excellent example is the story of Ms. Hugh, his Catholic teacher’s substitute in the St. Mary School.
Ms. Hugh was a very, very fat lady. During reading hour, she would perch on her desk, crossing her blubbery legs, the folds of fat flowing everywhere, and chewing gum or other food noisily. Her girdle was obvious under her short black skirt and the skin bulged out hideously. Her pupils despised this time; all was quiet except for the massive figure eating on her desk.
One day, Ms. Hugh was especially loud in her chewing. Opening her desk drawer, she shrieked and stood on her chair in a fit of fright. A snake slithered out of the drawer, sliding along the floor and out the door. Now the fright was gone and Ms. Hugh was filled with rage. The class was sniggering and Chuck, Bob’s best friend, jabbed him teasingly in the elbow. Ms. Hugh caught the move and thundered over to Bob’s desk, pulling him out of his chair by the hair behind his ear. Bob yelped in pain.
“You little viper, what do you think you’re doing planting a snake in my drawer, huh? I should bring you to the office and have you walloped something good. You hear? I don’t appreciate this at all. Have you got that?”
With a shove, she dropped him back on his chair. Bob tumbled over backwards, recovered himself and rubbed his aching skull while scowling ferociously at his teacher. “I didn’t do it,” he mumbled huskily.
“I don’t want to hear excuses, you little idiot. I won’t take you to the principal’s office, because I’m so gracious, but if there is anymore of this kind of behavior, I won’t think twice about it,” she added indignantly.
Bob sat erect in his chair, staring straight ahead. The very nerve of the cursed woman! He hadn’t done it, he hadn’t done it! And now he was being punished for it... an idea formed in his sharp little brain and a slow grin spread across his face. Revenge would be easy, and there was no way she would know who the culprit was.
After school, he took a hike down to the general store and picked out a huge, bright red, impeccable apple and brought it home, polishing it until it shone more than a new penny. Once home, he reached into the refrigerator and pulled out his sister’s injection needles. He filled one with the ink from his father’s study. Taking the apple, he stuck the long needle down the stem of the apple and slowly pressed the ink into the middle of the apple. Not a sign of his villainy and the apple nearly bursting with it’s inner thorn. Robert laid it carefully in his school bag, ready for use. He used gloves. She wouldn’t catch him by his fingerprints, that was for sure.
He left early for school; walked, instead of taking the bus. He made it there ten minutes before the class started. Still polishing his venomous fruit, he laid it on the desk. It looked very handsome indeed, sitting there all shiny and red. When Miss Hugh came in, she ejaculated, “oh, how nice! Who did this?” in her high-pitched nasal tones. Bob wasn’t about to let her know.
She waited until the reading hour and once again plopped heavily on her desk. Taking hold of the juicy red apple, she crunched noisily into it. Smacking happily she didn’t even notice the streams of purple ink pouring down her chin -- all three of them. She smiled toothily at the class, who broke into laughter at her blue teeth. Alarmed, she stared in horror at the apple, the purple fluid trickling over her pudgy arms. Enraged, she hurled the thing into the trash can, and little purple bits came back out in her face.
“WHO DID THIS?!!!!” she demanded furiously. Of course, no one would fess up, and thus the whole whole class had to stay until worried parents started to call for their very late children. Bob went home with his dad, the rule of crimes not obeyed. He was never caught and now tells the story with wicked pride, though it’s so frightfully interesting to listen to.


Editor’s note: As I’m sure the reader has noticed, this story does go against what it says in the Bible, that we are to leave revenge to the Lord. This is not a good example of “do not repay evil with evil.” This story was not meant to be prejudiced in any way.

Before the Reform 2


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