28th April 2002
An uneventful day it was. I had been sleeping the whole day. Woke up at about 2 in the afternoon to my maid gossiping to the neighbour's maid. I wonder how long she had been sitting at the doorsteps. Had a heavy lunch consisting of 2 sandwiches and instant noodles I told Bebek to cook. Went back to my room to read a few pages from Nick Drake autobiography. I did not know he was concerned for his image and that he selected the people he hangout with. That was a surprise and not the image I had of him in my mind. Went back to sleep for a few hours and woke up at dusk to smoke a cigarette and started playing The Beautiful South Cd Bagel passed me. The album is called 'Blue is the Color'. It is growing on me, I must say.
Read a few more pages of the book before gazing at the ceiling thinking about him.
Bagel called me in the afternoon from the warehouse or where ever it was and was getting two coffee tables. It was more of a bedside table costing five hundred dollars each. Bagel commented how ugly it was, then why the hell buy it. I made a joke of how I did not need a coffee table if that was what Bagel bought me. That was the last thing I needed, considering how small my room is. How would you be able to fit a coffee table to such a fuck up deco. My room is always in a mess anyway and I loathe having young cousins pouncing about merrily in my room especially in my absence.
Parents and Nana returned at about nine in the evening without any food for me. I started playing cards on the computer while chatting to Mira on my cell phone. I know my bills are high and I terribly need to cut down on wasting my money but I hate talking on the home phone. The line is terrible. I could hear buzzing and cracking.
Kamal called me closed to eleven to ask me what I was doing. He did not tell me what he wanted and hang up. Sometimes, he is weird. Anyway, he called again to ask me if I would like to have dinner, or supper, with him. I agreed. After all, I was bored at home and my thoughts kept running in circles trying to think of solutions to helpless situations. Got back at about twenty minutes pass twelve. We often sit at the 24H Express Coffeeshop eating and talking about life. My favourite dish there is Chicken Rice Porridge.
Mother told me my cousin got into trouble today for shoplifting Cds. I did not know where he did that and I felt sorry for him. Mother was commenting on how he had turn out. I got defensive. It is not a big deal when you steal some Cds. You do not turn to a monster just because you stole Cds. I do not understand what the fuss is about. She said the police sent him home and his father had to go see the police. I do not now where he went to see the police. She did not tell me the details. I am fond of him and I am sure he would turn out not to be society's trash. I have faith that it is just a phrase teenagers go through.
I can still remember how I was at fourteen. Smoking, drinking and clubbing. Stole a few and Boy! was that tragic fun. Walking around with Zura, Rahmat, Azhar and a few others. It was my birthday celebration and that was how I got my Cardigan's Cd called Life!
Mother told me to advice cousin or at least talk some sense into him. Who give me the right to boss or advice that darling of a boy. After all, wasn't I the bitch who always argued with mother and did nasty things. Who could not conform to family rules. What a laugh it was. To think I now have to advice my cousins on behaviour when their parents though I was a gone case. Fuck them!! I mean fuck their parents, first you thought me a beast and now I am a saviour. Oh what a laugh!
I am thinking how funny the world works. It is amazing
isn't it how things turn out. Maybe I should make another mistake.