Letter to President

Letter To The President

Dear Mr. President,
My grandmother, who immigrated here from Poland in the late thirties,
has always deeply loved this country. She was so proud to have become
an American citizen. Each Fourth of July, as she enthusiastically
displayed the American flag by our front door, she instilled within me
too a love for the United States of America. As such, when it comae
time in my life to move away from my abusive spouse and provide for my
two small children, I was thrilled to have been accepted by the United
States Air Force Nurse Corps. My children and myself were well treated
and taken care of for the three years that we were stationed at Moody
Air Force Base and then at Homestead Air Force Base. Unfortunately, a
bout with thyroid cancer and subsequent deterioration of my eyesight and
the ravages of Hurricane Andrew wreaked havoc on my family life. My ex
husband seized this opportunity to enact the most brutal and heinous
form of revenge upon me. He did not return my children after a Thanksgiving
visit four years ago. He obtained immediate emergency
custody based on many lies. Some of the issues he brought to the
attention of the judge had a grain of truth to them, but were greatly
exaggerated and did not warrant the rash act of ripping my children away
from me. These children were entrusted into the care of a man with a
very serious history of alcoholism, a deteriorating mental condition,
and a history of physical abuse. My ex spouse is extremely cruel,
manipulative, bigoted, paranoid, and down right mean. He has fought me
on every opportunity for visitation. When we were married he gave me
nothing to support the children. I worked weekends at night to pay most
of their expenses and stayed with them during the week. I endured his
mental, psychological, spiritual, and physical abuse until I could bear
it no more and thought it would be best for my children not to be subjected
to that kind of environment. My life was my children.
Everything I did was for them. I finally gave him custody after a two
year battle because I was barely seeing my children as the proceedings
dragged on painfully slow. I moved back to Maryland from Florida to be
closer to my children last year. In February, I went to pick up my
children for a visit. My ex husband refused to open the door. Out of
dire frustration and fear of my children's well-being, I went to the
back door intending to push it in with a sledge hammer that was laying
in the back yard. The back door was open, so I walked in looking for my
children. My ex husband beat me brutally with the sledge hammer. He
called the Howard County police, lied to them and I was taken away in
cuffs and treated terribly. I was thrown in a cell, taken to the local
hospital in an attempt to have me committed to the psychiatric ward and
only reluctantly allowed to have the hospital staff attend to my
injuries. I was charged with six charges. That whole horrible night I
could barely walk because of the blows I had received to my leg with the
sledge hammer. I was wheeled out of the hospital by the police officer
because of my extreme difficulty in walking. I had to remove my shoe
because of the swelling and so the rest of the time I walked through the
snow in my stocking feet. My husband and I placed charges against my ex
husband, but they were later dropped. Apparently, my ex husband could
have killed me if he had liked. I endured a trial by jury at which I
listened to my ex husband tell an elaborate lie of how I had attacked
him. It was one of the worst days of my life. I was convicted this
September of fourth degree burglary and carrying a dangerous weapon with
intent to injure. I am on two years probation. My ex husband was
granted a six month restraining order against me protecting him, his
wife and my children. His lies were so blatantly obvious, his dementia
so clear, I am constantly dumfounded by how he convinces court officials
of his stories. In addition to this trauma, the police officer who
testified against me in court lied and said that my injuries looked a
few days old. I am devastated by this. I can not look at a police
officer now without feeling ill. My lawyer explained that this is
called "testilying". I have not seen my children since last Christmas time. My ex husband
said I could have them for about a week around last Christmas, and he
only ended up giving them to me for two days. The judge who heard the
criminal case was assigned the visitation case
but turned it over to a Master. My lawyer put in the request for a
hearing on modification of the visitation agreement early last year. It
has still not been heard. Four years ago, my children, then eight and ten ,
were happy, well
adjusted children, who had a relationship with both of their parents.
Since then I have observed them to be hostile, withdrawn (especially my
daughter), and lacking in a kind spirit. Their father has had a very
bad influence on them. Knowing my ex husband and having spent much
time continuing my education
and specializing in psychology, I am terribly afraid that my ex husband
is capable of sexual abuse. I called HRS a couple of months ago, but
they will not investigate. I now question my grandmother's tremendous pride
in this country. Any
country that allows a mother to be treated the way I have been treated
and to allow my children to be handed over to such a mentally unstable
man is not a country that I am proud of. I plan to attend the candlelight
vigil tomorrow for parents who have
lost custody to abusive spouses. I found out about it through CIVITAS,
an organization whose goals and activities I urge you to support.
Tomorrow night, I will shed many tears. They are bitter tears. They
are tears that originate from the depths of this mother's heart. And I
will pray for justice and the safety of my children. My prayer will be something along the following:

"(children's names removed for their protection and privacy), I love you dearly, I
will never forget you. Try to remember the things I taught you-caring,
kindness, charity, service, respect for others and the right to dignity
for all people. I wait for our reconciliation and I entrust you to God."

Nadine Marie Jacobson
http://geocities.datacellar.net/Wellesley/2819

Please support the following organization:

CIVITAS ChildTrauma Programs
Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Director
Baylor College of Medicine
Department of Psychiatry
One Baylor Plaza
Houston, TX 77030-3498
http://www.bcm.tmc.edu/civitas/civitas.html

CC: The Honorable Donna Shalala, Secretary, Department of Health & Human Services

The Honorable Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States

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