If you are stuck in someone else's frames, use this link to break free.
Along this time, I met my husband...I was 15. He had a wonderful, large family. He was the oldest of 6...3 boys and 3 girls. I thought they were like the Brady Bunch!! I feel in love with them all....and still love them very much!!!
We got pregnant and then got married. I was 17 and he was barely 20. He never had a real girlfriend before that, although I had a few boyfriends. We had some very nice times together...memories I will always cherish. We had two beautiful children together. Along the way, we also had some struggles, but he was never physical or anything with me.
For a number of reasons, during the last half of our marriage, I felt unloved and alone most of the time. He worked two jobs most of the time, so he wasn't around much to say the least. Our son has ADD, which led to problems with school and eventually the law. This was a very difficult time for the whole family. He ended up spending 9 months in a juvenile detention center, which was very hard on us. He seems to be doing much better and is still medicated...so he can go do an honest days work!! Our daughter on the other hand, did very well in school, she was athletic and excelled in everything she put her hands to. These achievements of hers caused more problems with sibling jealousy on the part of her brother.
Last winter, I turned 39. It seemed to be a breaking point of such for me. I became moody and sullen. My children had both left home to start their own lives...and I was feeling very alone!! It got so bad, that it almost ended up in separation then. My husband was very patient with me though, and I believed it would pass. It didn't...so a year and a half after the children left the roost...I left. This was been a very trying experience for all of us and my sound mind and judgments I know have been questioned.
We have since reconciled and I finally feel like all that I've gone through, I have REALLY dealt with! I went for counselling and was able to talk about things that were affecting me. I learned one thing...my emotions got really messed up when the kids left home...I suffered major "empty nest syndrome"! I now understand that I was running away from everything and everyone in my life so that I could "hurt" in private and not have to tell anyone or talk with anyone about it. I didn't want people to think I was crazy :) After all, most people look forward to having their children leave the nest!
When our children leave us, it should be a time for renewal in our relationships with our spouses. I was afraid! What if after all these years, we didn't have what it takes to stay together?? My husband and I are now discussing everything! Guess what? We DO have a lot in common other than our children and we DO like each other as people and love each other as partners :) So, some good came out of my craziness...LOL.
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