I've been writing this journal for just about two months now, and I've decided it's time for a change; the hearts border background and color scheme was getting old. I was half-tempted to give into the holiday season, or even the season itself, as winter is almost upon us here, but I decided to go for the night sky when all was said and done. The graphic originally had an entirely black background, but it just felt too cold and distant, so I tinkered with it a bit. Thanks go to Fantasyland Graphics for the original image.

I got to thinking this morning about how much has changed in my life in the past year and a half. I've gone from depending (rather heavily at times) on some slightly flakey friends for companionship, to developing a relationship with a great guy. Yeah, he has to be dragged away from the computer or football now and then, and I admit that I need to be better about taking the initiative and coming up with ideas for things to do -- one of his complaints the other night when we had our little 'talk' was that he was getting tired of always having to be the one to think up something to do -- but all in all, he's a pretty great guy.

Sometimes I still miss my former friends; I miss their two kids more than anything, but I'm learning to let go. I was going through some old files on my Zip disks the other day, and deleted a whole bunch of old chat logs with said friends without a second thought. Letting them slip out of my life just leaves one problem... I have no real close friends back home anymore. My older brother told me quite a while back that he was worried that I hadn't enough friends in town, and now look where I've ended up. I guess it's time to start working on branching out there when I get back.

I used to run a BBS (my computer was set up for other people to log in and play games, download files, write messages, and so on), but with the expanding local Internet access, I got into the online scene myself, and so the BBS line was always busy and I finally shut it down. I've toyed with the idea of running an Internet-based BBS, but the software to run in a Windows environment isn't exactly cheap, and setting up a DOS-based system like I had before can be a bit of a pain. Still, it's something to think about.

I just chatted with Connie for a bit on ICQ; she has an apartment now, down in Springfield, MO, and she told me Emma (her ex-girlfriend) went up to Canada to meet this supposed new girlfriend of hers, and it blew up in her face and really shook her up. It may be callous of me, but after what she did to Connie, I don't feel sorry for her at all. I told Connie not all that long ago that something like that was probably exactly what Emma needed to wake her up and put an end to her spoiled, childish, "I've got to have my cake and eat it too" ways. Only time will tell if it did the trick. Anyway, with Connie now in Springfield, and about four or five hours away instead of just one, I don't think we'll be spending very much time together. *sigh*

One other thing I've been contemplating was volunteering at the computer lab at the local library. I remember seeing a flyer about needing volunteers one of the last few times I was in, and I think I may just check it out and see what, exactly, they need, and how often. Since I don't drive, and there are no busses in town (ack!), I'd have to rely on Mom to take me and pick me up, but if it was just once a week, I think I could talk her into it. Especially if it was some day other than Monday, since the second-hand shop across the street is open Tuesday through Saturday, and she loves to look around in there. At any rate, I definitely need to get involved in something when I get back home again. I just get used to living in a big city again while I'm here, then it's time to go back home again where the biggest thing in town is the Super Wal-Mart that opened a couple years ago.