October 19, 1997
I never did get back to write more yesterday... sorry about that. I had a pretty average day, just worked some more on my pages here, and visited some of my neighbors in Wellesley and the Wellesley Chat room. I had to chuckle at the guys coming through the Wellesley chat room looking to hit on women. One tried to strike up a conversation with me, but I told him I wasn't there to start a private chat. I was chatting with Jevim on IRC at the time, for goodness sake! *chuckle* I told Jevim about them and he thought it was a bit funny. He asked what I'd do if HE came into the chat room, and I said I'd probably use the hug and kiss actions to greet him. He just chuckled and typed back, "okay".
I watched some TV last night <gasp!> ... Jevim was watching game one of the world series, and so I decided to see what was on. Ended up watching Early Edition, which I'd never seen before (I don't watch TV much... who needs it when you have the Internet? *wink*), and then a movie on USA. Jevim started getting sleepy (I guess the game must have ended *chuckle* and so I asked if he wanted to talk and he said that, or play a game online. I was too tired for a game, so we both hopped offline and he called me.
He didn't try to hide the fact that he was missing me. He'd had fun at someplace called Dave and Buster's which is sort of an arcade for grownups (they serve alcohol, and anyone under 21 has to be with someone over 25), and he was telling me all about that, and how he wished I could have been there. I did too, and he promised when I came back we'd go and spend a whole day at the mall there. They have a Borders bookstore *drool* and a Cheesecake Factory restaurant (I've never heard of them), he says. I'm not much for cheesecake, but I'm sure they serve other stuff, and I know Jevim likes it. and so he said we'd go all out. I'm looking forward to it... amusement parks wear me out too quick, but I think I can handle an overgrown arcade.
[Turns out that's Cheese Steak, not Cheesecake, but we never did get there]
I'd been watching the movie on USA and was a little into it, so I was semi-paying attention to it with closed-captioning turned on and the sound muted, but paying most of my attention to Jevim. He started getting sleepier, so he headed off to bed, and I curled up in bed to watch the rest of the movie and a bit of the Star Trek Voyager he'd watched earlier in the week and I hadn't seen yet. Of course, Voyager started before the movie ended, and I was more into the movie, so I didn't get caught up on Voyager that much, and went to bed when the movie ended.
I woke up a few times in the night last night, and ended up getting up fairly early. I got to thinking about my kidney stone problems and doctors and all that and I had to get up and get myself distracted from those trains of thought, so I hopped online and played my Net Scrabble games. I finally won against my friend Donna after she'd beaten me in the first 13 games. It felt good!!! Now I just need to beat Dave! I've gotten a LOT better at Scrabble since I started playing online several months ago, but that means I've got an advantage over Jevim that I didn't have before, so I have to be careful about trouncing him too much.
We're both so much alike in that respect... we love playing games, but we really get frustrated when we get into a losing streak, or if we get beaten soundly one too many times. I guess we need to grow up a little, but I have the feeling that he's like me and he likes to feel that games are something he can be good at, after being made to feel worthless by all the teasing and such we each grew up with.
That's one thing I really worry about with Jevim... he thinks he's worthless and that he's done nothing of any consequence in life. It shows up most when he's down, or we've had a disagreement and he thinks he's hurt me, or like a couple weeks ago when his volleyball game with his co-workers didn't go well.
I think he's absolutely wonderful, myself... he's smart, he's got a good career ahead of him (his co-op overseer absolutely gushes about him and wants him to move to Maryland and go to school there so he can stay with the company while he's in school), he's caring, loving, nice to curl up with, great at video games (I haven't managed to beat him at an arcade-type game yet!), and more, but I can't seem to convince him just how wonderful he really is. I hope someday he will realize just what a wonderful part of my life that he has become. Until then, I'll just have to keep trying to convince him.
He hopped online fairly early (for Jevim on a weekend), and we chatted for a while, while he watched cartoons and I did some more surfing, hunting for web rings. I'm being picky about which ones I join... I tried joining the main Geocities ring, but I surfed through some of the sites and ... well, I'm picky about HTML and layout. If someone's in a web ring, I like to be able to get to their ring code without having to hunt for it, and I really hate waiting for pages bogged down with tons of animated GIFs to download. Needless to say, I pulled my submission.
I've found a few rings for people with online journals, and those fit my pages better anyway, so I'm working on getting added to a few of them. There's one that looks very promising, called Archipelago, but they're not accepting any new submissions until November, when the owner gets settled in after a move, so I've bookmarked it for later.
Ooops, Judith just ICQ'ed me and reminded me that we have an online meeting for one of my classes at VU so I'd better wrap this up for now and grab some lunch. Type to you later!
--Lis
11:57pm
Well, tonight was 'interesting' computerwise. I was trying to figure out why exploder (Internet Explorer) didn't like my community leader's pages, and thought it must be Crescendo acting up again, so I downloaded the latest version (beta 6) and installed it. *chuckle* Went to Pat's page,... *crash* error in unknown module. Tried again... *crash*
error in cres95.dll. Oh joy... uninstalled crescendo, tried to load the page again... *crash* "This program has performed... yadda, yadda, yadda, ... suggest that you close all programs and restart the computer."
Yeah, yeah, okay... I did that. Then guess what? Clicked on the Exploder button... nothing! Oh, I got a busy cursor for a second, but then nothing. Tried again, same thing. Tried file explorer ... "this program has performed an illegal error..." ARGH, now my system was really fouled up.
The RUN command from the start menu worked, fortunately, and I was able to find the right folder with IE 4.0 setup and run it. It complained about the certificates being invalid, but it's the same setup I used originally, so I told it to ignore that little fact. Explorer crashed in the middle of the install, but the install kept going so I let it finish, rebooted when it asked me to, and everything was back to normal.
Tried Pat's page, expecting a crash. No crash, but it asked if I wanted to install a slightly earlier version (beta 5) of crescendo. I said no the first few times, but I was browsing MIDI sites and I finally gave in. Installed it, and it seemed to work fine. Went back to Pat's pages, and they worked fine too. Problem apparently solved. What fun... But at least it was a problem
with a solution. ;)
Jevim and I hopped offline a while later and talked for a bit, until he started falling asleep, and so I let him go and spent the next couple hours (?!?!?!) online.
I found what I *think* to be Will's new ICQ name. It looks like he has gone so far as to create a new name (it requires authorization) to avoid me (I had sent him a message when they first started ignorning me). I hopped on Undernet IRC and sure enough Ruth was on, but I didn't /msg her or join any of the channels she was in or anything like that, I just lurked for a while. I doubt they have any of my nicks on notify anymore, anyway.
I guess this means that it's all over... the all-night talks, going out to the Bullet to listen to music, playing with Chris and Emmy... *sigh* I saw it coming, but... anyway, it's nice to have a sense of closure, or at least a vague semblance thereof.
So I spent the next hour or more lurking the different people search engines, trying to find some school friends... any school friends whom I don't already have contact with. Didn't come up with anything, but I found a site called SchoolNews and I registered my name and e-mail address on the page for my high school and graduating class.
No one else was listed, but there was a notice that it was a relatively new site, so maybe I'll check back next month and see if anything new has been added. *shrug* I don't really know why, but I need some new link to my past. I looked again for any relatives of mine who might be online, but didn't turn up anything there, so I wound up lurking and posting a bit in alt.cuddle, and finally dragged myself out just a few minutes ago.
I need to get to bed or I won't be awake enough to have much of a conversation with Jevim in the morning, so I'm gone... g'night!
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