Tuesday, October 21, 1997
Dreams:
First one: Mom doing "weird" things, weird eyes, two of her, power out in my rooom so I had to move phone to call Jevim, etc, etc.
Second one: At school with Jevim, video camera, eclipse, airplanes, Jon Lane...
Around noonish
This is one of "those" kinds of days... lots of little ups and downs and feeling blue. I got up this morning with the alarm and hopped online. I had a message waiting from Jevim on IRC saying that he was messing with the other computer, and if he didn't answer the DCC right away, to play a sound. Needless to say, he didn't answer right away, but he did respond as soon as I made some noise.
I think he must have still been playing with the Tandy, though, because he seemed very distracted and distant. I'd had more unsettling dreams, and distracted and distant wasn't what I was wanting, so I sat here feeling a bit neglected. I didn't tell him, of course, but then I don't want to demand his attention when he's busy working on something else. *sigh*
Anyway, he headed off to work and I went back to bed. Mom was going to go down to Columbia again today for another doctor's appointment, and I had meant to get up in time to go with her, but I woke up to the phone ringing (she answered and it was for her) and walked out to see what she was doing just as she walked out the door. I said "bye" -- twice -- but she didn't
seem to hear me.
I came back to my room and hopped back online to play my netscrabble turns, then check out assignments and work some on homework. I got all of 3 examples into C++ and that was after backtracking to the previous chapter. I wasn't absorbing anything, so I quit.
I went out to the kitchen and washed up the wok and my workspace from last night... looks like maybe I DID scratch the wok (non stick coating) after all, so I'll probably hear about that later. *sigh* I originally went out to get something to eat, but I got sidetracked cleaning up, an so I didn't eat until later.
There was a highlight to my morning... I thought I'd gotten my graphics class assignment posted too late to get a review, but I went and looked, and sure enough there was a review for mine. And a very good review at that! I was happy, and I wrote Jevim a note about it and gave him the URL.
Had a quickie lunch (vienna sausages and a cup of hot tea -- some lunch! and I had to share the sausages with the cats!!) and played with the graphics stuff and read some of the assigned reading. I haven't decided yet what to do for my next assignment... we're supposed to create navigational buttons and bars and all that fun stuff, and for now I'm a bit burnt out on doing graphics homework. : I'll try to tackle it tomorrow.
For now, I just want to go climb back in bed (I'm still in jammies anyway) and go to sleep until Jevim gets home. Mom got back just a little while ago with groceries that I helped put away, but I don't much feel like being sociable with her. Maybe I ought to, and go see about transfering the camcorder videos to regular VHS tapes like she's asked me to.
Sorry for my mood... like I said, this is just one of those days. I don't even feel like writing about my dreams at this point. Neither of them was one I'd want to remember anyway. In the second one, Jevim was ignoring me to some degree (hmm, that sounds familiar...) and in the first, Mom was doing weird things... I was videotaping (maybe a hint?) and at one point, there were two of her, and I was taping the second one as proof. An alien impostor, perhaps?
I dunno, it was weird. I went in my room (which was my bedroom in the apartment out in California) to call Jevim, but the power was out in my room, so I had to bring the cordless phone out into the dining room (where the other outlet for my line is) and was hooking that up to call him but I guess that's where I woke up.
I'm going to quit rambling for now... maybe I'll be in a better mood later.
--Lis
11:02 pm
Well, I went off and was lazy for a while, read a little bit, hopped back on the 'puter and played games until I got a message from Jevim saying he'd be coming home after he went out for dinner. I warmed up my own dinner and ate, and Judith sent me a reminder that we had a couple class meetings tonight. I joined the first one early and chatted with a fellow classmate, and took her to see a couple of my pages here, which she said were quite nice. She liked the calendar and it's graphics, too, so I guess it was a good idea after all.
The instructor showed up, and Jevim showed up shortly thereafter, so I chatted with him and chatted in class, and he played at Solaria and web surfed til I was finished, and then I set up another IRC session for my second class, which started an hour later. We chatted some, and wound up picking up our abandoned backgammon match in the middle of my Internet Law class; I was logging the class and so I got to read through it all when I tidied it up to put online for people, and there really wasn't much I would have participated in. Jevim beat me at backgammon, and we started another match, which we didn't get finished before it was time for him to hop offline.
I had signed up for an HTML class at ZDU, as a full student, but found out yesterday that I was an auditor. Seems that at least a couple more people had the same thing happen, so we need to figure out what's going on and hopefully we can all get into the class as full students again! The class promises to get interesting, as we're going to cover CSS, which I've been wanting to learn.
After the internet law class, and one more game of backgammon in our match, Jevim and I hopped offline and talked some on the phone. He's getting frustrated about being apart, and feeling the need to work on a project, but not knowing what to do. It seems he's like me, that after a few days he tends to get bored and wander off and not work on it anymore. *sigh* I wish I had an idea for him, but for now I don't.
We talked a little more about what's going on with my kidney stone, what I think is happening, what the doctor has said, and so on. I think it's stuck because of scar tissue around my uretur (which was transplanted higher on my bladder when I was little) and that it's not going to go anywhere on its own. But then, nothing showed up on the last set of IVP x-rays, so I really don't know. I still feel something there, I think...
He misses me so much (and I miss him so much too), it's driving us crazy. I know he really does need some sort of project... my journal is what's keeping me sane right now... but I can't get enough into his mind to think of anything for him.
I think I *did* manage to get through to him a little just how wonderful I think he is... I pointed him to my calendar page last night to see what he thought of it, and he started reading journal entries and read the one where I said I thought he was too hard on himself, and that I think he is a wonderful person. He read that and he said it meant so much to him that I wanted to tell that to the world.
Well, I DO think he's wonderful... he makes my life worth living and I love him with all my heart.
We eventually hopped off the phone so he could go to sleep, and I came back to the computer to finish editing the internet law log and now finishing up my journal entry for today.
The second dream
The second dream had me at school with Jevim, walking through the halls of one of the classroom buildings. It was night time, and we (he and I and some friends of his) sneaked into an instructor's office where there was a large skylight-window. I had the videocamera, and was taping an lunar eclipse or some celestial event, when airplanes and the likes with a Pepsi logo on them started flying overhead and interrupting my view.
We finished watching the eclipse, and were trying to get out of the building without getting caught by security, but Jevim slipped aside into one of the classrooms, and I was trying to navigate with the light on the videocamera to get back to him, upset that he had left me behind.
There were other parts, with me on a train (which I've had similar dreams of before), and one other with the video camera where I was recording Jon Lane, one of my childhood friends whom I haven't seen in ages. More than that, I really can't remember now, as it's grown very hazy.
I'll wrap this up for the night...
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