October 24, 1997
Dreams:
First one: web surfin' again... don't remember any details...
Second: playing double-deck solitaire, Pretending to be asleep, tying a green ribbon in Synny's hair (Synny -- a newsgroup acquaintance -- is a porcelain doll in the dream)
11:03 am
I slept until I felt like getting up, and I just got up a couple minutes ago... guess I must have needed the sleep!
*sigh* I just checked my mail and had a message from Jevim. Seems his sister wants him to come visit for the weekend (She's at college in West Virginia). His school (Virginia Tech) is playing her school (WVU) and I know he'd really love to see the game. He asked me if I wanted him to stay home, and I wrote back and told him to go ahead and go if he wanted to (reminding him that I was home alone this weekend), and that maybe some time alone and away from the computer without worrying about missing him online might help some. I don't know how, but maybe.
He said in the message he'd call around 1:30 his time, which is just about an hour from now, so we'll see what he says. I feel bad about even reminding him that I'm going to be home alone this weekend and probably making him feel guilty about going, but I can't come right out and tell him no... I do want him to go, but I don't want to be all by myself, if that makes any sense. *tears threatening to fall again*
What rotten timing... if the game had been any other weekdend than this... or if I'd known that his sister was going to want him to come down... I might have let Mom talk me into going. I haven't been outside of the house in over a week now, and I really need to get away. Thoughts of walking up to the library or main street are running through my mind, but it's only about 50 degrees out there, and rainy, and I'd probably barely make it to the grocery store, let alone downtown.
Maybe I'll be lucky and Connie will realize that I want some company this weekend... who knows. Maybe something will turn up. *sigh*
Just been sitting here and thinking, and looking for a channel on IRC to hang out in. I did wind up in #rickscafe last night after I gave up on trying to help people in #Windows95... The ops in that channel must be blessed with tons of patience. I got tired of being messaged by a couple of the people (who apparently only wanted to chat with a girl), and left, and told the one person who kept messaging me (I think he was from a South American country, I couldn't get a name resolved from his IP address) that I didn't have any idea who he was, and I wasn't interested in having a conversation with him. Sheesh! I wish guys would learn to respect other people's wishes on IRC!
Anyway, enough of my rant. I just got a message from another student at VU in my internet law class, who said she found my formatted logs of the class meetings easier to read than what VU itself has online (I'm going to go look and see in a minute, and try to do this week's reading as well). She wondered if there was any way to get VU to buy back my version, and I told her that all they had to do was ask, and I'd be happy to share.
Going to go do my reading... I'll be back after a while. Jevim will probably call by then, I'm thinking....
12:50
Jevim just called... fortunately, I was in a better mood than I was earlier, and he hadn't gotten my e-mail yet (having problems with the computer at work), so I told him to go ahead and go. He promised to call as soon as he got there, if not stop somewhere and call on the way, and that he'd keep in touch with me while he was away, so hopefully I'll make it through this weekend.
If he reads this later (he's been reading entries every so often), he'll probably be upset with himself for going, and so this next paragraph is to Jevim:
Babe, I wanted you to go and get away for a few days... you felt like getting out, your sister was wanting some company, and I wanted you to be able to go to the game. Hopefully getting away will help keep you from worrying so much about me right now. I think I just need a few days to get back on an even keel, and I'll be okay again. I love you, and I wouldn't have told you to go if I didn't think I'd be okay, 'k? *squeeeeeeeze*
Anyway... I don't know what I want to do today. It's 1pm already, and I haven't accomplished much. I did get this week's Internet Law lesson and case read. Maybe I'll go see if there's anything new in the HTML class and see if I can sneak in as a full student yet! Bye for now....
9:42pm
I'm surviving so far... and Jevim has called me a total of 4 times now today... the first time from work, once from on the road, once when he was at the mall with his sister, shortly after he got there, and then again tonight, just a little while ago, to say goodnight. He'd taken the bear I gave him last year with him. *smile* He also said there's not a whole lot to do there with his sis, so he might come home tomorrow, so we can spend some time together. I certainly won't complain, though I don't begrudge him the time spent with his sis.
He installed an Ethernet card for her so she could access the 'net from her dorm, but said she didn't have the paperwork turned in to get the port turned on, else he would have tracked me down online. *chuckle* Oh, his sister grabbed the phone away from him at the mall and told me she thought I had him really well-trained, because he wanted to call me as soon as he got there. He'd told her that I didn't have him trained, it was his idea to call, and she said I just must have trained him really well! Of course while she was saying this, I gather he had his hand on top of her head, trying to 'shrink' her and so she said I needed to train him not to hurt her, next. *chuckle* I told her I'd work on it next time I spent some time with him.
While we were talking this evening, he said he would really like to spend Christmas together. I said we could have an early Christmas, since I'll hopefully be with him for the company Christmas party, but he wants to spend the actual day with me... *hope* *hope* *hope* He said we'd have to start working on that. It would be sooooooo wonderful if we really could.
You know, I know I've got someone really special... Yes, we have our disagreements, and neither one of us claims to be perfect, but we share many of the same ideas and opinions and he is so considerate and caring and sweet... *happy sigh* If he lived next door, and just went to school at Mizzou, things would be absolutely perfect right now.
But anyway... I think I'll wrap this up for tonight, unless something major happens on IRC. I'm lurking in #dillon, waiting for people to start showing up, and playing turns in NetScrabble. I'll type to you tomorrow!
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