What to do, what to do...

March 28, 1998

Today hasn't been the best of days; it was better than yesterday -- which was downright awful in its own little way -- but it still wasn't great. Boring, dull, annoying, but better than Friday by far. Friday, you see, I had a little scuffle with the optometrist, who had promised me a year's worth of disposable contacts, and any office care I might need in regards to said contracts, for a certain fee. I balked at the price, even after he explained that it covered a year's worth of lenses, and so he knocked a bit off the price, since I had also purchased glasses at that time. He gave me a six months' supply of lenses and said I would need to come in for a checkup after six months, and I would get the rest of the lenses.

Well, I have been on my last pair for a couple weeks now -- yes, I've been procrastinating about this -- and I finally went in yesterday to order another six months' supply, only to be told that would be another $95. I paid $226 the first time, plus whatever my insurance picked up (state and federal medical coverage), and I told them I would not pay any more. I asked for a copy of my prescription, but they told me that they could only give the prescription to another doctor. I think that's a load of horse hockey, but there's not a lot I can do about it.

Anyway, the incident with the optometrist basically set the tone for my whole day. Nothing went right, I was missing Jevim terribly, and he only wanted to mess around with his main computer and install Linux on it so he could 'play' with XWindows and all that jazz. Yes, he asked if he 'could' but am I supposed tell him no? I can't do that. He has a right to do what he wants; I had told him I was not having a good morning, but he either didn't catch that, or didn't realize how upset I was, and in either case, he headed off to tinker, leaving me to get myself wrought up.

He did hop back online from Linux and we chatted and even played a little backgammon at FIBS but I was still feeling second rate... probably more my mood than anything else, but no matter what came along to make me happy for a bit, something else followed on its heels and brought me to tears -- or close -- soon after. At one point, Jevim was saying something that got me to laughing... I was saying no to everything because I didn't feel like doing it, and he asked if I was going to say anything other than no, so I said "no" again and just started cracking up... Told him I was laughing, and a moment later, I was crying again and I don't exactly recall why.

I wasn't going to write about yesterday, it's not something I want to think about, but I'm sure it would have come out sooner or later. Now you know. And Jevim, I'm sorry for not telling you yesterday that your going away bothered me, but at the time you didn't seem terribly interested in anything but playing with the computer.

Now, on to the topic... I did have something in mind when I set out to write this, believe it or not. I'm just very good at getting sidetracked.

The title was in regards to the two boys in Arkansas... If you live in the United States and have any access to news, I'm sure you know about it, but if you're elsewhere, maybe you don't. Short version: Last Tuesday, two adolescent boys (11 and 13) hid out in the woods near their school with a bunch of weapons, including assault rifles, and someone set off the fire alarm to flush everyone out of the building, at which time they opened fire on their fellow students. Four girls and one teacher are now dead, with about a dozen more injured, I believe.

Now on the news (which also added to my mood yesterday), it's being reported that the boys who are being held in custoday, want pizza instead of jail food, and more or less just want to go home. They're just babies, but they were babies with bullets, and they killed five people.

Under state and federal laws, even if they are found guilty of five cases of first degree murder, they can only be put in prison until their eighteenth birthdays. Seven years for the younger, five for the older, and many people think this is not fair. I agree, they should not be given an open door on their eighteenth birthdays, but I also don't believe they should be sent to an adult prison. I have heard far too much of what goes on in those places -- I have a brother who has been in prison for almost fifteen years now, and even though he has never told me much, I've heard things here and there.

This country's prisons are not, in my opinion, proper rehabilitation facilities. In rehab facilities, patients are not(at least I should hope they are not) exposed to sexual abuse and threats from other patients, hostile treatment from their caretakers, and so on. What these boys need is rehabilitation. Happy, well-adjusted adolescents don't go breaking and entering, stealing assault rifles and vans, and shooting in their classmates. These boys need help, and I think our prisons are going to do more harm than good.

Who's to blame? Parents? Violent video games? Peer pressure? Violence in the media (music, tv, movies) that they are exposed to? Lack of supervised recreation? Who knows... we can't point our fingers. All we can do is try to help them, and undo the damage that was done to their minds. We live in what should be the most civilized times, and yet this is the third case of kids on shooting sprees in just these past several years. Is this what we are coming to? I hope not, but sometimes it's hard to see where else this road we're on might lead.

I get the feeling that we need to put on the brakes, turn around and backtrack to an intersection somewhere back the way we came, and steer down a new road, 'cause we as a people have taken a wrong turn somewhere.

I'm not saying that there aren't good people out there, who raise kids who would never think of picking up a gun, let alone pointing it at someone and using it; I'm sure there are many families like that out there. But... well... some people could learn a thing or two from those sorts of families. They say that variety is the spice of life; well, I could do without the kind of variety I've seen on the news lately: sex scandals in the White House, shooting sprees in schoolyards. Listening to the news is downright depressing, most of the time.

*stepping off soap box* This sad happening in Arkansas has been discussed recently in alt.cuddle, a newsgroup I frequent. We have our little saying, that we "tug on the fabric" (of fate/destiny/whatever you may call it) for the families involved in such tragedies, which means different things to different people... praying for them, just keeping them in our thoughts and sending good thoughts out to them, and so on... After this incident, a number of Cuddlers (as we call ourselves) felt that this time there simply was not enough fabric to tug on. I hope that's not the case. Anyway, if you feel so inclined, give a tug on the fabric for those families, would you?

And if you would, a tug for my Cuddler friend Tuggy and her husband Marten, who a few weeks ago had a stroke and a bicycle accident, and is now recovering from a second stroke. They've been married only about a year or so now, and Tuggy moved from Canada to the Netherlands to be with Marten. She is far from friends and family and still learning the language, and she misses her Marten very much, as he has been in the hospital twice now. You could even stop in alt.cuddle yourself and leave a note for Tuggy, but be forewarned, you will get newbie hugged by everyone who realizes they don't know you. We don't bite... just watch out for the Pie Serving Trio!

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