Feelings
The following feelings are those commonly expressed by victims of sexual abuse. Children who have been sexually abused may have all, some or none of these feelings. The absence of these feelings does not mean the child is inventing the abuse or that she/he is not distressed or suffering.- Conflicting feelings
- When young people are abused by those they would normally turn to for love and support, they become confused. They often both love and hate that person at the same time. While they sense the exploitation is wrong, they have difficulty understanding why someone who is supposed to love them would do something so bad. This kind of confusion can prevent the young person from telling others about the exploitation.
- Anxiety
- Not only do victims worry about the offender but they also feel anxious about other members of the family who will be hurt by knowing about the abuse. Some fear that the family will break up and that the offender will have to move away. They worry about being sent away themselves and being shut off from the family members they need and love.
- Guilt
- Victims often feel guilty and tend to blame themselves rather than the offender. Frequently, the abuser has told the victim that they are seductive in dress or behaviour. The child may think that they have invited the abuse and rationalize that they deserve what they got.
- Anger
- The victim is annoyed when someone else constantly touches his/her body without permission. Being forced to participate in activities that are so disliked is such an insult to personal integrity, that it breeds resentment that can last a lifetime.
- Embarrassment
- After the sexual abuse has occurred, young people sometimes feel the whole world can see what has happened. They feel exposed, sometimes "dirty", because they have been involved in something wrong. Often these feelings of embarrassment are what keep boys who are abused by men from telling because they think others may think they are gay.
- Fear
- The abuser tells the young person to keep a secret that is only to be shared by the two of them. Most often the abuser threatens the child: suggesting that the child will be sent away; that he will see to it that or that younger brothers and sisters will be hurt or even killed.
- Feeling "filthy" or "sleazy"
- For days after the assault occurs, victims may wash themselves over and over again to get rid of the reminders of the assault.
( Home )
( What is Child Abuse? ) ( Why does it happen? )
( What if a child tells you about abuse? ) ( What an abused child may feel )
( What can I do about it? )
( Webrings )
