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contents history news results & league team statistics squad links Keep Shouting
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Advertisement Coming soon for Christmas the tale they said should never be told...
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12/12/2000 Last weeks game against Easton Cowboys Reserves was, to everyones shock and horror, postponed due to a waterlogged pitch. This was the 7th consequtive game to be lost to the biblical flooding affecting the country and frustration is growing at the Plate. "Tits" said Tom.
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5/12/2000 Apologies for the delay in communications. Moments after the last report evil forces of counter revolutionary, capatalisto, paper dog putos stormed the offices of Commissar Yosivitch and dragged him into captivity, forcing him to work under pain of having to watch Swansea City. There our beloved Comrade was forced to sell his own sweet labour in exchange for the 'priviledge' of joining a corrupt and unworkable token system. Two days ago a crack unit of Platers were dropped into enemy territory to retrieve the by now brainwashed Yosavitch. On being told he was to be taken back to the Plate the poor lost soul could only babble " i like golf you can monagram your accessories Christmas is coming I need new curtains". Luckily Doc Ilyich, a world renowned expert in mind control techniques, has announced that Comrade Yosavich is on the road to full recovery and regular service will be resumed in the next few days. Thank you for your patience.
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15/10/2000 To access the account Comrades can get the details from Yos at the Bureau for Information (down the Old E). Please feel free to send us any thoughts on the club, this website or matters of international footballing solidarity. Click on the link to send a message. |
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19/9/2000 Plate Unveil New Footballing Academy Commissar James Masters of the Avon Plate Management Soviet, yesterday announced the opening of the new Avon Plate Academy of Footballing Excellence at Monks Park, Filton. "This is the dawn of a great age for the club, the workers and international football" the club captain told a crowd of journalists and supporters. "The Plate Age or maybe The Age of Plate, preliminary results are as yet inconclusive but it will be an Age and it will incoporate the Plate, we can definately tell you that, unless Avon slips in but I would very much doubt that. There's more to life than alliteration you know. Although there's no telling some people." |
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20/8/2000 20/8/2000 15/8/2000 14/8/2000 1/7/2000 24/5/2000
10/5/2000 27/4/2000 20/4/2000 |
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| 10/4/2000 The 4th APSS AGM took place this Sunday at the Old E. Members of the Soviet described it as a great success which would do much to further the Plate cause. Not even a comprehensive mullering on the pitch that very morning could dampen the revolutionary zeal which seems sure to carry the team onwards onto glory.
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Plans are hatched at the AGM
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| 5/4/2000 Ugly rumours of a training pitch fracas have been filtering out of The Plate camp this week.The very fact that the story has been allowed out of the usually tight-nit team circle would seem to indicate that patience is wearing thin with certain players lack of disipline. When asked to clarify the rumours selector Neil Boulton said "Handbags". However, later when asked about Sundays game he replied "Bloomers, lovely" leading to yet more speculation that the pressure is starting to tell at the top. 19/3/2000 15/3/2000 However, a recent pitch invasion by a group of young Plate Ultras at Camp Easton has also contributed to the decision. "It is difficult to keep the boys focused on training when they're getting mobbed by autograph hunters. Obviously it's great to see the youngsters so enthusiastic, I understand that they want to meet their heroes, but they must understand that when we take the field we are there to do business". 6/3/2000 |
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Under the Oath of Loyalty all clubs involved in footballing activities within the GFA family's jurisdiction are compelled to make a payment of honour to the Club of Clubs at the beginning of each season. This is widely believed to be around 25% of the clubs incomings, however as with most activities involving the GFA details are sketchy. Rather than issuing any clear guidelines for clubs, the organisation prefers to rely on rumour and arcane rituals established over many decades. These traditions are enforced by a shadowy network of made-men known as"wise guys" or "refereeosi" who are placed in positions of power within the various affiliated leagues and act as the eyes and ears of the family. | |||
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G.F.A. staff, yesterday
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A spokesperson for Blades said, "we don't know nuttin' about this. It's a misunderstanding. There's no way we would disrespect the GFA. We're gonna give them the money. We'll give them the money on Tuesday". 5/3/2000 Senior Gerry of the Old E has been providing post match hospitality for the team and their partners through-out the season. Even some Plate Ultras have been turning up after games to enjoy Senior Jerry's luxury, cold buffets, and given their somewhat unfortunate reputation, the welcome Senior Jerry has offered them has been wonderful. With both parties keen to cement the link between pub and club, expectations are high that a sponsorship deal can be finalised at the AGM in good time for the Bristol & District meetings.Viva la Old E and Senior Gerry! |
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20/2/2000 Following a traumatic 4-1 loss to Highways today, the Avon Plate Squad Soviet (APSS) acted quickly and decisively to stamp out counter revolutionary forces within the Club hierarchy. With great regret it was announced that Tony Bowles would be removed as manager. An inability to control natural revolutionary fervour was cited as the prevailing factor. "Without discipline the footballing revolution we are attempting to forward cannot be maintained" stated a member of the Committee for the Advancement of Avon Plate and All Common Working Class Pursuits (AAPACWCP). By overwhelming majority the democratically elected soviet democratically elected a soviet to take over team affairs. Comprising of Comrade Boulton, Comrade Fowgies and Comrade Masters the soviet will take over responsibility with immediate effect. Comrade Boulton who will chair the committee immediately offered his resignation as Club Captain. Comrade Masters was democratically elected the new Club Captain. Much vodka was drunk. In a separate vote it was decided, democratically, that Avon Plate was a very good thing. |
Player power gets militant at The Plate |
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