Avon Plate F.C.

"play up Plate"

Match reports for Season 2000/2001

08/04/01 (League)
Portorino Allstars 3 : 2 Avon Plate

Half Time 3:2
Scorers: Jack Sant 19, 27, mins

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
by Comrade Hemmingway, Official Football or Death Reporter

The scene: somewhere up the arse end of Gordano after leaving the changing rooms and going on a four mile hike a bare eleven Platers arrive at an area of mud the size of a postage stamp known locally as 'the pitch'.

C'mon then Plate, 'ave 'im, ave im noooo noooo argh argh AAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! God Almighty! Ok Ok C'mon ARRGH no stop it no NNNOOO AArgggggghh Jesus! What's happening? It's only one. Take it steady, Jesus wept were'd he spring from, belt it, BELT IT. AAAARGGGHHH! Why? How? It's only two, we can do this. There you go. Thats more like it, go on Jacko, tuck it away son. Yes. Right ok. Here we go, good stuff, good work jacko, wahaay! Another, get in there my son, result, ok. Right now lets just... watch im, watch im, 'ave... NOOOOOOOOOO! No No No! I'll wake up in a minute it'll all be ok.

Half Time 3:2

Right lets 'ave 'em. Come here ball, arse. Thats the hammer..., ...or maybe not. Get it, get it, NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO! ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH! AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.......Repeat to fade, go home and lie down.

Final Score 3:2

contents history news results & league team statistics squad links Keep Shouting