i hope this person doesn't mind that i post this....
"Hi.
Ran into your page via the random open pages link. Think I have read it all by now (yeah, took me some time. You obviously caught my interest, I usually read only the last month or so...) and I've got to tell you something you are not going to like... Life sucks BIGtime, and it will stay that way. I know. I have lived a life pretty similar to yours, I am about twice your age right now, and I can safely say it has had some ups in the past years, but in general it is down and it stays down. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to depress you, I just want to tell you what is likely to happen...
About guys, they are weird. I know, I am one myself. But guys think the same about girls. However, I think Brian has not treated you in a decent way (to put it mildly), and I suggest that, if you run into a new guy,you try to keep your head together. It sounds like shit, but I have found that it more or less works...
Please keep writing on a more regulas basis. I'll be back for your future.
Take care..."
hm... i don't think that i've ever had a more truthful statement given to me than this one...
depressing as it may be... it doesn't upset me at all.
from now on, tho.. i'm gonna try to keep my "piss and moan" factor down to a limit... ehhh... ok.. maybe not.
i've applied to colleges... woohoo.. go me. i guess deep down, i keep hoping that by going away to college.. i can have a new start on life, but it never really works out that way, hmm..
i just need to get out of this town... there is something outside of this dispicable town!!! there's got to be.
on another note.. i'm really worried about lola. i don't think she's so much as touched an application for college. a few months ago, she wanted to go away to study musical theatre... and now she wants to stay around here so that she can work at the stupid supermarket that she's worked at for a while now. all i can help but think is that she's doing it because this guy that she likes..he goes to a community college and works at the supermarket. he's the type of guy that just likes to fuck with girls minds... get this tho.. just a humorous tidbit... he hasn't even kissed anyone yet... he's 18... he talks all this shit about sex.. and loving lola... and he hasn't even kissed her! it's ridiculous! his little sister has gotten to further bases than he has. it's just sad, is what it is.
i dont' know what to do, tho. luna and i are thinking of having an intervention meeting tomorrow with her. sit her down.. possibly tie her up and gag her. ;) maybe we can talk some sense into that head(which is way too far up in the clouds currently).
well... i haven't talked to bryan in about... 2 months now. it's great, i think.
"i'm the best thing you're ever going to lose."
that's the last thing i ever said to him....back in october.. and i don't plan on talking to him either.
why do i always fall for the losers.. the doormat, stupid, lazy, jerky LOSERS!!!
i've got a disease or something... a disease where it limits the positive things that i look for in a guy... yeah.. i like guys who treat me like shit and don't care about me... inevitably, i like getting hurt. my heart is so used to being broken, that i don't know what it feels like anymore. crying is a usual thing during my daily schedule.
okay.. that was like... 5 months ago...
currently, i feel like i'm on a power trip. i'm just proud that i don't bother with him anymore.. that i haven't bothered with anyone..
but... i've been sorta ignoring any prospective guy that has liked me too...
that's alright. I don't need a relationship now. i'm going away to college next year... and i don't need a long distance thing, since i plan on going away to college anyways.
long distance + relationships = bad breakup.
oh well. I can save myself for my "soul mate" (haha!.. yeah.. sure) whenever he may decide to come around.
